Calling all female posters

[Dr.Rocanlover]

My sister likes this guy at her work. They would compliment each other nicely because my sister has European nationality and he is from the U. S. so its a win win for both of them in my point of view.

They stumbled upon one another at the elevator and he mentioned he's single.

@BeExcellent @sazc @AJ84

How to proceed? How to avoid the friendzone?

 

[AJ84]

My sister likes this guy at her work. They would compliment each other nicely because my sister has European nationality and he is from the U. S. so its a win win for both of them in my point of view.

They stumbled upon one another at the elevator and he mentioned he's single.

@BeExcellent @sazc @AJ84

How to proceed? How to avoid the friendzone?

He mentioned he’s single? What was the context of him saying that?

It sounds like an invitation for her to ask him out but knowing the context of how he told her he was single would be helpful.

 

[BeExcellent]

Goes to show you can meet people anywhere.

Like AJ said more context would be useful.

Office relationships can be tricky, obviously. He needs to be the man & ask her out. If he doesn't know how to do that she has 2 options. She can smile @ behave in a receptive manner...or if he mentions being single again she can say:

"Are you asking me out?" Then have a big smile & let that question hang there & see what he does with it.

The second option is more aggressive but not so aggressive as to ask him out...which sets her up leading the interaction, and that will make him look weak also. Weak or wishy washy is never attractive.

If he doesn't ask her out I advise she pass. She needs to screen for a man who has enough nads to lead her and likes her well enough to make a move.

 

[AJ84]

Goes to show you can meet people anywhere.

Like AJ said more context would be useful.

Office relationships can be tricky, obviously. He needs to be the man & ask her out. If he doesn't know how to do that she has 2 options. She can smile @ behave in a receptive manner...or if he mentions being single again she can say:

"Are you asking me out?" Then have a big smile & let that question hang there & see what he does with it.

The second option is more aggressive but not so aggressive as to ask him out...which sets her up leading the interaction, and that will make him look weak also. Weak or wishy washy is never attractive.

If he doesn't ask her out I advise she pass. She needs to screen for a man who has enough nads to lead her and likes her well enough to make a move.

I totally agree with what you’re saying for non work situations. But he may be hesitant to ask her out if he’s not sure of her interest because he may be afraid that it will #metoo him out of a job lol.
So he may not be able to take the lead as he would like given they they work together and there is a risk of it backfiring. She may have to make the first move.
We don’t know for sure or course.

 

[sazc]

He mentioned he is single for a reason. men mention they are single for a reason. I dont walk around mentioning I am single without having a specific reason to do so.

Did she find anything else out about him? Do they have anything in common?

Next step would either be for her to make herself available (aka get in his physical presence so he can notice her and one of them can strike up a conversation) or, if they have something in common, a shared interest, love, hobby,have her call him based on that, asking to chat more over coffee.

She can also ask CLOSE work associates if they know him and see what the situation is with him. but only do this if the work associates wont make a big deal about it.

 

[spred]

I totally agree with what you’re saying for non work situations. But he may be hesitant to ask her out if he’s not sure of her interest because he may be afraid that it will #metoo him out of a job lol.
So he may not be able to take the lead as he would like given they they work together and there is a risk of it backfiring. She may have to make the first move.
We don’t know for sure or course.

OP, I am the guy at work in your case. Obviously not that person, but figuratively.
AJ is right about the context for the guy.
What will help your sister is to show interest in two or more separate occasions, so the guy gets the point that she is interested more than friends.
Btw men don't friend zone women from work.

 

[sosousage]

so they were together in elevator and there was no fucc?

 

[Dr.Rocanlover]

so they were together in elevator and there was no fucc?

Never said they were alone in the elevator, there were more people in it.

 

[HankHill]

The guy mentioning he's single is about all he can do without jeopardizing his job. I have a woman at my work that I strike up conversations with, I like her but due to the work situation I can't openly ask her out. I *think* she might feel the same way. Last time she even poured me a coffee as I approached the coffee station where she was getting herself one. She's at least 10+yrs younger so I can never be sure if she's just being nice/polite or she wants me to ask her out. I think in these situations it's a lot safer (from losing your job's perspective) when the woman takes the lead to create a situation where the guy knows she's open to meeting up, perhaps saying 'I'd love to learn about your background sometime' and see how he responds and then '...perhaps after work sometime, there's this xyz place I've been meaning to try.'

 

[sazc]

The guy mentioning he's single is about all he can do without jeopardizing his job. I have a woman at my work that I strike up conversations with, I like her but due to the work situation I can't openly ask her out. I *think* she might feel the same way. Last time she even poured me a coffee as I approached the coffee station where she was getting herself one. She's at least 10+yrs younger so I can never be sure if she's just being nice/polite or she wants me to ask her out. I think in these situations it's a lot safer (from losing your job's perspective) when the woman takes the lead to create a situation where the guy knows she's open to meeting up, perhaps saying 'I'd love to learn about your background sometime' and see how he responds and then '...perhaps after work sometime, there's this xyz place I've been meaning to try.'

Yep, you've got to innocently place an invite in his path and see if he will bite. But the invite has to be of respectable content so he can't #himtoo about it

Same thing guys do to women