"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

C & F really not that ****y and funny

WestCoaster

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2003
Messages
2,028
Reaction score
31
OK, I posted awhile back that the reason women like humor is because basically they're not very funny. I know a lot of women, have dated a lot of women, and have some women as friends. Very few are funny or quick witted.

That said, I can see why ****y and funny (C & F) -- even when you're not funny or ****y -- works on a woman. They must be totally clueless on this stuff!

I just got back from my favorite coffee shop and for months since I've lived in this new town I've heard guys try to be ****y and funny with women at this place. I have yet to chuckle once. Tonight some guy with a semi-hottie was reading a newspaper and trying to make jokes about what he was reading. This guy was NOT funny, he was dressed like ****, kind of ugly, bad hygiene, was talking about being an unemployed artitist, and basically had few redeeming qualities.

The woman was laughing.

Trust me, he wasn't one iota funny. I am picky with my humor as I watch some shows that are funny (Simpsons) and read some books that are funny.

I am amazed that American women fall for C & F when about 95 percent of the guys out there are NOT even close to being funny.

Even on this site some guys have given their C & F lines and I don't chuckle, smile, or even smirk.

Are these women that shallow?! It's stunning.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2003
Messages
1,717
Reaction score
35
Location
Wine Country, Ca
It's TRUE! I'm the only one who's even remotely amusing! I think it's because I like the Three Stooges:p (Nuk! Nuk! Nuk!)
 

WestCoaster

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 8, 2003
Messages
2,028
Reaction score
31
Actually I like that line

I don't like the 3 Stooges, but I like the line, "The only woman who likes the 3 Stooges." First time I read that I chuckled.

I'm kind of looking for the "only woman who likes Rodney Dangerfield."

Women HATE Dangerfield, it's amazing!

* Back to my point, why are C & F guys who are NOT even close to being funny considered humorous by women?
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
2,191
Reaction score
175
A year ago I noticed when looking back on my whole life, that while I joke with women, and they certainly laugh, it's very rare for a woman to joke back. Actually, so rare as to be practically non-existent. Right now I have a good female friend who's very funny but I notice she only jokes in response to my jokes. I can think of only one female friend, of long ago, who actually told jokes.

I think it's quite demonstrative of how spiritually dead are most women. They take pride in being supposedly more down-to-earth than men, but the consequence of that is being imaginatively dead. But where they lack in telling jokes they make up for being easy to amuse, so it all balances out.

I don't do much of C+F, because I have a mellow personality, but last night I decided to pull an 'experiment' on a chick who is my guinea pig of little experiments, and so I told her, in a club, "I think I'm a better dancer than you," even though she's a very good dancer. I could barely stop myself from laughing while delivering the line, it was so outrageous. Even though the line was straight up c0cky, it worked like a charm. A week ago I bashed her movie tastes for her liking The Matrix 2 & 3, which I think pound for pound are the worst movies ever in terms of sequels, and all I can say is she was not turned off. ;) In fact, thinking about it, all I ever do is bust her on stuff.
WestCoaster:
Even on this site some guys have given their C & F lines and I don't chuckle, smile, or even smirk.
I totally agree.
I am amazed that American women fall for C & F when about 95 percent of the guys out there are NOT even close to being funny.
I'm not sure about that but it doesn't matter what we think of them because so long as it's funny between the two of them that's all that counts. :D
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,137
Reaction score
895
Age
52
Dangerfield is great, one of my all-time favorites.

It is so funny you mention that women hate it. I used to be like Dangerfield always putting myself down. Girls hate that you are very correct. Self-depracating humour gets you nowhere.

Still think Rodney is one of the all-time best. I just don't use it with girls! Better to make fun of the girl than yourself!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

deeloo

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2002
Messages
167
Reaction score
0
some of the ****y remarks posted on this site are quite witty though - albeit rare.

for example, when someone asks "how are you", you say "ive been told that i'm pretty damn good".. haha that one made me smile.
 
Top