"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Buying Condoms

john

Master Don Juan
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if you are insecure buying condoms, you must be too insecure to approach properly.

if it's a guy, he'll think you are getting laid.
if it's a lady, dont bring it up, treat it like any other purchase. ACT NORMAL.

normal should be your DJ self unless she's like 50.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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diablo

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Just a digression - I bought a 12 pack night before last, the girl behind the counter picked them up and started moving the box around in the light, squinting at part of it... I asked her what the problem seemed to be and she said "Oh, nothing... I was just checking the expiration date to make sure they were safe." I've never felt more loved in my entire life. :)

<End of pointless story...>
 

Luscious

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Originally posted by diablo
Just a digression - I bought a 12 pack night before last, the girl behind the counter picked them up and started moving the box around in the light, squinting at part of it... I asked her what the problem seemed to be and she said "Oh, nothing... I was just checking the expiration date to make sure they were safe." I've never felt more loved in my entire life. :)

<End of pointless story...>
I know there is a line in there you could have used regarding 'testing' condoms with said cashier but it eludes me at the time.:D
 

DA KID

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Go to a store with self checkout and you'll have nothing to worry about
 

alboh

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I took a girl to a drugstore, on a whim, at the end of a date to buy condoms. I went up to the manager at the front of the store and asked (as quietly as possible) "do you have any....condoms?"

"WHAT?!" he yelled.

"Uhh......condoms...."

"CONDOMS??!! You want some CONDOMS??? HEY JEN WHERE DO WE KEEP THE CONDOMS???

At this point the girl was so shy she was hiding in one of the aisles.

Three store employees proceeded to pull out a box of different condom brands from behind the counter and debate which one was best. I remember Jen recommended, in a booming loud voice, the flavoured ones while another suggested ribbed. Finally this tiny, fat little Peurto Rican guy elbows me and says "get these, eh...trusssssst me". I bought them and we fled the store. Turns out the guy was right 'cause those condoms were great!

But anyway, if I can go through that, you can buy a friggin box of condoms. Get a bunch of stuff you need (shampoo, toothbrush, etc) and slip the condoms in the middle like they were a pack of gum, you'll feel less embarassed.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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