Busy single mom sending mixed signals?

[AgonyUncle]

Im keen to see what everyones take on this is.

I have been out with this bird a few times. Not much has ever come of it. See her every now and then, mostly to catch a cup of coffee or grab lunch. Between her schedule and mine, its difficult to make time. I am not seriously involved with anyone else, but I am dating another women at the moment, although we are not exclusive. I do like this woman though, and we share the same circle of friends. She calls me about once a week, sends SMS’s all the time. To me though, its never been anything more then friends. Its friend zone through and through from what I can tell. I do enjoy her company though, and as much as I would like to bang this bird, its not the end of the world if I don’t.

Problem is that she owns a salon, which means she works 7 days a week most weeks. Long hours during the week. She averages between 70-80 hours a week. On top of it, she is a single mother. So free time is generally a problem. I have been getting a lot of mixed signals from her lately though. Constantly suggesting we need to meet up. Phoned me a few weeks back asking why I am so quiet asking if I have finally got someone serious in my life. Phoned another time and asked me if I have been ignoring her.

Out of no where, today she says to me that she does not have time for a boyfriend, but she gets really lonely sometimes. To me, that’s code for **** me please, just don’t expect me to become attached. Or am I reading more then I should into this.

Thoughts?

 

[squirrels]

The only signal you need to read is that she's a single mom with no free time.

That ALONE makes her unfit for a relationship.

As for banging her...well, put a move on her and see how receptive she is.

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds like the female version of me, minus the kid.

I wouldn't date me right now.

 

[mzilla2]

If she really wanted you, despite being that busy, she'd make some time, or at least let you know when she's available... Sounds to me like she just enjoys the attention, you are a plan "B", or "C"...

 

[decades]

use her as an FB. Try and avoid being her friend unless you are gettin some. Don't get serious with her. She is OVER committed. These people tend to stay that way. It's a lifestyle that doesn't leave room for 'Intimacy". It's actually a way to avoid intimacy. It sounds like she has her "needs", and that could work to your advantage. Exploit that aspect of the relationship. If she doesn't want to put out, don't expend precious time and energy on someone that keeps you in the friends zone for her selfish reasons, without a fair exchange of "favors" for the good stuff you provide her.

 

[mzilla2]

use her as an FB. Try and avoid being her friend unless you are gettin some. Don't get serious with her. She is OVER committed. These people tend to stay that way. It's a lifestyle that doesn't leave room for 'Intimacy". It's actually a way to avoid intimacy. It sounds like she has her "needs", and that could work to your advantage. Exploit that aspect of the relationship. If she doesn't want to put out, don't expend precious time and energy on someone that keeps you in the friends zone for her selfish reasons, without a fair exchange of "favors" for the good stuff you provide her.

Very observant post! Describes MANY of the women I have met. So busy, no time, yet still expect me to be waiting by the phone ready to spring up at any time? LOL So yes, so 'busy' yet nothing productive results, and not like these women are overachievers by any means.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Yes, you are reading too much into this ! !

don't invest in this chick emotionally, at least not any more than you would any other friend... she told you she did not want a boyfriend, it's best to take that at face value ..... drop any and all expectations ... failure to do so will result in unlimited frustration ...

if you want a relationship and time with someone, find a girl who is able and willing to give it to you !

I have been in your spot more than I wish to admit ...if you think you can change her you can't ...move on dude

Peace out

 

[MatureDJ]

She calls me about once a week, sends SMS’s all the time. <snip> Constantly suggesting we need to meet up. <snip> Out of no where, today she says to me that she does not have time for a boyfriend, but she gets really lonely sometimes.

"I'm lonely" is code word for "I want to get some". If she is sexing you, then you are her boyfriend, in the purest sense of the word.

You really have a good situation here, so long as you don't "accidently" knock her up. :nervous: Next time she suggests that you meet up, set an evening, and tell her to contact you when she is free. Bring over a bottle of wine, and let nature take over.

 

[MatureDJ]

Very observant post! Describes MANY of the women I have met. So busy, no time, yet still expect me to be waiting by the phone ready to spring up at any time? LOL So yes, so 'busy' yet nothing productive results, and not like these women are overachievers by any means.

If an attractive, but very busy woman could only see me for 2 2-hour meetings per week, and every one of them was at her place, with most of the time spent on her bed with my .... in her ....., I would not complain.

 

[joekerr31]

yes, she was basically saying she wants you as a f*ck buddy.

now that said, being a f*ck buddy with a single mom is more complicated than it appears.

at first it seems like a good idea to them. they are busy leading their own lives, they've been through a divorce, the last thing they want is to get hurt again.

so they figure, i'll just have some fun, something casual.

then you start banging them, a little time goes by, and they realize 'hey, this isn't so bad. he's a great guy, who treats me well, you know i probably wouldn't get hurt being in a relationship with this guy. AND i could get myself a new daddy for my kids."

thats when they drop the bomb on you and try to turn the f*ck buddy scenario into a relationship.