"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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burn the bridge or reach out?

iliketennis

Senior Don Juan
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i hung out with this girl from high school (now 7 years after graduating) last december. we had a fun night, but when i tried to kiss her she said she doesn't do that casually, or something like that. then after she left she sent a text something like "maybe next time." i didn't talk to her for a few months.

now i'm vacationing in the city where she lives (she is 100s of miles away from where i live) and we met up 2 nights ago. me her and 5 others had a fun night, lots of drinks, conversation. we go down to the beach and are talking alone, i try to kiss her again and she says no, she's afraid of getting hurt, we live so far apart, and some other excuses.

i kept my cool through the whole situation saying stuff like i'm attracted to you (she said she was too), i don't want to be your friend, etc. she started crying and i told her don't worry, i am going to be fine.. this is no big deal.

honestly if the chick is not interested in me sexually it's fine... i have plenty of plates spinning and am not worried about this one. it's just that we went to hs together, have a lot of mutual friends.. i'm afraid to burn the bridge. she left the cab without saying goodbye. should i reach out and say anything? leave things how they are?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Cry For Love

Senior Don Juan
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leave it be bro tons of girls out there. check em out go out maybe go get beers etc gl
 

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
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dude you made the girl cry, by trying to kiss her.

you shouldnt have told her you were attracted to her, you tried to kiss her, she gets the picture. second of all you should have not told her you didnt want to be her friend. Why would she want to talk to you? You basically told her the only worth she has to you is sex. And guess what, you hurt her.

you were to worried about banging her than just having fun. and she could smell it.
 

iliketennis

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how could i have handled the situation better?

and what would you recommend i do now, if anything, so i don't seem like such a jerk?
 

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
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first of all you should not be worried about what you seem like to anyone.

where you messed up is when this girl initially told you "she doesnt do that casually"

This girl seems like the kinda girl that likes to seemingly be in a relationship before anything transpires. What you should have done is just had fun with her and kissed her on the cheek good night and left it at that.

if you wanted to pursue something with her you should have continued to go out and have fun with her. That doesnt mean hiding your sexuality tho.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
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Question: Why does this chick seem to assume that by you kissing her she'll somehow get hurt? Seems like she somehow thinks that if she kisses you back it will mean that you guys are somehow dating.... I know that doesn't make much sense, but she seems to be freakin out over a kiss and/or totally lying to you.

Girls that are attracted to guys don't repeatedly pull away from them when they try to make advances.

Does she know your dating several women? What was your reputation in hs? If you pulled tons of tail in hs maybe that's where her "I don't want to get hurt" thoughts come from possibly.

Either way this chick has low interest, but doesn't want to lose contact with you since you've known eachother for so long.

No point in reaching out to her, unless you want to be her buddy.





PIMP
 

iliketennis

Senior Don Juan
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wasn't a pimp in hs. i guess i should've seen this coming.

this forum's philosophy and pickup in general is all new to me. cutting off contact and not apologizing to someone like this makes me feel bad.

although to be fair i do think she led me on just a tiny bit
 
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