"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bumping into ex-oneitis

kramerica

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Will try keep this short.

Ran into an ex-oneitis last week in a shopping mall. I said hi, asked she was doing and smalltalked with her about 1 min. before bidding her adieu. She was shocked. Saw her on my way out of the store about 10 min later, she had a huge smile and waved. I kept going.

Yesterday I got an email from her: "I just wanted to say thanks for helping me see who I was. I think that knowing you has made me a different person than I was. I think for the better. I do really appreciate your honesty with me. I like who I am more now than I did before and I really think that it does have to do with you. Hope there are no hard feelings. I'm still sorry if there are."

Today was her 30th birthday, I figured she would write because of her birthday and I'm more buff now. I wrote her a very brief message back. Tone extremely indifferent, saying that I appreciated the comment, a lot happened since then...no hard feelings, and perhaps we'll bump into each other again sometime.

The boyfriend she has/had (don't know, don't really care) was a jerk. I've got too many things going on in my life to get AFC again.

Might she be looking for attention? Mid-life crisis?
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jakeyboy

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are you like me? sometimes when i go out im so ****in scared of meeting my ex. its like traumatic, because i simply wouldnt know what to say to her

bah

from the looks of the email she sent you, i think she was just looking for some sort of closure to your relationship... perhaps it didnt end off on a very good note? that was the case with me ex and she also texted me the same sorta thing that your ex emailed you

its probably the "we didnt break up cos of you, no hard feelings, blah, you made me a better person" (this is just to console you)

i dont think its midlife crisis, i mean if she wanted she could have some guy (at least) in her life right?

yeah leave her be, mate. i dont think she's worth it, look at me, i spent one year of mourning about my ex.

:(

dont go AFC again. there's fresher booty out there man!
 

kramerica

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Agreed it was probably closure, although she always extremely craved attention. Last Spring I was tired of the runaround for many years and the abuse she accepted from her boyfriends. I never directly told her my feelings just listened to her complain, on and on.

Nervous about meeting her, nah. I knew her when she was 4 and I was 7, family friends. We "met" each other again in University when I hit on her during a bus to class.

Thanks, no more AFC. On to new and better things (this new one a veternarian :) )
 

jakeyboy

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good on ya mate. thats right, no more AFCness for us.

all the best with that new chicks! ;)
 
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