"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Building a circle of friends (getting a life)

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cupraikso

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I've searched in the forum for articles on "getting a life", but I have not had much success.

I'm a 28 yr old in grad school, and my social life is really bad. I used to be pretty popular in highschool and college, just because of the great highschool friendships that I made, but now almost every friend has left school and I find it really difficult to build friendships. In highschool it was really easy -- but now it seems like a chore. The other grad students in my school are either married, working a lot, or unrecoverable introverts. I've tried to hang out with them and although I try to spice things up, it's hard to deal with negative and overly 'serious' people.

I need to change this because it affects my happiness levels and makes me needy in relationships.

I need to find a pool of people around my age that like to do fun things.

I don't know where to start. Hobbies that interest me are not of the 'social' kind. Photography and sound engineering. I also used to have a band where I played the guitar, but I haven't touched that thing for 5 years, so I'm really lousy.

Perhaps joining a dance club? I have been to two dance studios and there are only people of 50 yrs and older. I'm in a small town.

Perhaps Toastmasters?

Any tips?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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Try toastmaster, but also check your city council, see if they have a business group for young adults 25-40, we have one here and they have mixers once or twice a week at hot spots...you can find professional fun people at events like that.
 
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I'm in the Mood

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cupraikso said:
I'm in a small town.
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I am by no means an expert on building a social network or getting a life, but I think this could be your biggest setback.

Think about it: if you live in a small town, your options are limited to whatever your town has to offer.

I would save money and move to someplace bigger, with more opportunity.

This has probably crossed your mind before, but there have to be at least some cool people living in your town.

I want you to think about these two questions for awhile, let them really sink in:
What are the types of people I like?
Where can I find them?

If you know exactly what you're after, and then pursue it, you will definitely find the people you're looking for.
 
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