Broken up with via text

[vermont927]

A girl I was talking to for 9 months (situationship) broke up with me over text (covertly). We were supposed to hang out over the weekend. This is how the conversation went

Me: How's your week going?
Her: Good it's been really hot
Me: Still free this weekend?
Her: No response
ME (later that night): Hey can we chat for a few minutes?
Her: Sure what's up
Me: Can I FaceTime you?
Her: She sent me a picture of her at a bar with another guy and says she will call me later

Her: I forgot to call you (2 hours later)

Me: I feel like you are not interested. I'm going to make other plans.

Her: I"m sorry then later again saying I'm so sorry

How would you handle this? Just walk away? I feel so angry that she didn't even want to talk to me and tell me on the phone or in person. Granted we were in a situationship but still that ****ing burns.

 

[savi0r]

Yeah, I'd definitely walk away. It sucks when someone can't even give you a proper breakup, especially after 9 months. You deserve someone who respects you and handles things better.

 

[holidayad_]

Her: She sent me a picture of her at a bar with another guy

If this isn't enough to make you walk away...

This chick is disrespectful, dude. Just move on. Let it go. Don't even respond to her.

 

[BPH]

Why are you upset about a situationship?

Either A. you didn't want to be exclusive, which is what she's also doing.

Or B. you DID want to be exclusive but somehow went 9 whole months without defining the relationship.

Having a "hey can we talk" moment in response to her not answering in a timely matter seems like you're WAY too invested in someone you're not committed to.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

My Ex broke up with me via text. I stupidly kept going back to her, and her behaviour didn't change, and it was always a text breakup.

I find that to be so cowardly.

 

[vermont927]

Why are you upset about a situationship?

Either A. you didn't want to be exclusive, which is what she's also doing.

Or B. you DID want to be exclusive but somehow went 9 whole months without defining the relationship.

Having a "hey can we talk" moment in response to her not answering in a timely matter seems like you're WAY too invested in someone you're not committed to.

Yeah, I was too invested in it for sure. TBH I did have feelings for her and stopped seeing other girls. It seemed like she purposely wanted to hurt me by sending me a pic of another guy at a bar. And she ignored my call. Feels really ****ty but there is no way I can go back now

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You came across as needy when you asked to speak to her and got no response.

This is likely the type of behavior you have been displaying consistently without even knowing that led to her looking for other guys to begin with.

 

[BPH]

Yeah, I was too invested in it for sure. TBH I did have feelings for her and stopped seeing other girls. It seemed like she purposely wanted to hurt me by sending me a pic of another guy at a bar. And she ignored my call. Feels really ****ty but there is no way I can go back now

She wanted to make you jealous, and she succeeded.

Whether she did it to try and get you to commit to her (because she wants you to be possessive after seeing her with someone else) doesn't matter, because she went about it in a toxic way rather than have a conversation.

That said, you can't control her, only you. And what YOU should've done was either define the relationship or remove attachment from the equation. A relationship is NEVER implied.

 

[Bingo-Player]

How are you in still in a situationship at 9 FVCKING MONTHS

Mate you're 35 years of age .....

 

[Learning Curve]

You are not serious are you?

Ok let's break it down.

This is how the conversation went

Me: How's your week going?
Her: Good it's been really hot
Me: Still free this weekend?
Her: No response (Does this give you a hint about something?)
ME (later that night): Hey can we chat for a few minutes? (Ok so you are chasing now, yet no responses on your previous message)
Her: Sure what's up
Me: Can I FaceTime you?
Her: She sent me a picture of her at a bar with another guy and says she will call me later (Totally disrespected) (Here is where you delete her phone number, and you remove her from your life)

Her: I forgot to call you (2 hours later) (You don't respond, she is done)

Me: I feel like you are not interested. I'm going to make other plans. (Feel like she is not interested? Are you f1ucking kidding us dude?)

Her: I"m sorry then later again saying I'm so sorry (9 Months for this?, Dude i'm trying to feel sorry for your, but you trully f3ucked up.) (You wasted 9 months of your life)

How would you handle this? Just walk away? I feel so angry that she didn't even want to talk to me and tell me on the phone or in person. Granted we were in a situationship but still that ****ing burns.

There is so much more into this i'm sure that you are not telling us. And i'm sure about that.

You wated 9 months of your life and i believe that you were the only one thinking you are in a relationship with this chick.

Here is your way moving forward:

DELETE HER NUMBER, She is Done. The end.

 

[Agamemnon43]

There is no handling this, it's over. Get burnt and learn from it.

 

[vermont927]

You are not serious are you?

Ok let's break it down.



Me: How's your week going?
Her: Good it's been really hot
Me: Still free this weekend?
Her: No response (Does this give you a hint about something?)
ME (later that night): Hey can we chat for a few minutes? (Ok so you are chasing now, yet no responses on your previous message)
Her: Sure what's up
Me: Can I FaceTime you?
Her: She sent me a picture of her at a bar with another guy and says she will call me later (Totally disrespected) (Here is where you delete her phone number, and you remove her from your life)

Her: I forgot to call you (2 hours later) (You don't respond, she is done)

Me: I feel like you are not interested. I'm going to make other plans. (Feel like she is not interested? Are you f1ucking kidding us dude?)

Her: I"m sorry then later again saying I'm so sorry (9 Months for this?, Dude i'm trying to feel sorry for your, but you trully f3ucked up.) (You wasted 9 months of your life)



There is so much more into this i'm sure that you are not telling us. And i'm sure about that.

You wated 9 months of your life and i believe that you were the only one thinking you are in a relationship with this chick.

Here is your way moving forward:

DELETE HER NUMBER, She is Done. The end.

It was a long distance situationship and she was using me for attention. I get that I was too overinvested and didn't set proper boundaries from the start. I know I ****ed up. But man she was so hot and the attraction was really strong and I got really caught up in it.

 

[vermont927]

She wanted to make you jealous, and she succeeded.

Whether she did it to try and get you to commit to her (because she wants you to be possessive after seeing her with someone else) doesn't matter, because she went about it in a toxic way rather than have a conversation.

That said, you can't control her, only you. And what YOU should've done was either define the relationship or remove attachment from the equation. A relationship is NEVER implied.

Yeah, I agree with you it was done in a toxic way. And it was my fault for not setting boundaries and defining the relationship.

 

[vermont927]

You came across as needy when you asked to speak to her and got no response.

This is likely the type of behavior you have been displaying consistently without even knowing that led to her looking for other guys to begin with.

Yeah I agree with you. How do I stop the needy behavior? Typically I start feeling really attached and needy when I get attracted to someone

 

[Westminster]

Yeah I agree with you. How do I stop the needy behavior? Typically I start feeling really attached and needy when I get attracted to someone

I suppose the first thing is to recognise what the problem is - which you have done.

Then it's about getting things in proportion. Women will come and women will go, but basically they're not yours, it's just your turn. Try to be a bit more diffident and not so needy. Easier said than done, I know. But don't run around over-investing and getting hurt. It's no good.

 

[Gamisch]

How are you in still in a situationship at 9 FVCKING MONTHS

Mate you're 35 years of age .....

Welcome to the new way this game is played. No longer being 35 means being a MAN MAN. Nope. 35 nowadays = just getting into the game and being on this planet long enough to.find at least one woman willing to go through the motions for a brief period of time. A situationship is most likely instigated by the WOMAN, because IF a man initiated this arrangement it would mean1. He's a player.2. She is beneath his smv or his standard and 3.thus he won't GAF if she walks away because he deliberately left the door open for her to disappear whenever she wants.

Tbh I've just been in a similar situation where I simply had no better prospects than a "situationship" . It all comes down to (creating) plenty of options vs being content with whatever life throws your way..it's all about power dynamics.

A ldr situationship = hardly ever having sex ,let alone doing fun, spontaneous shyte together, no booty calls ect. It's two people having a hard time finding someone the REALLY into thus they settle for this shyte arrangement. Funny to think about how up untill recently this would be a marriage, nowadays it's just a situationship..

 

[vermont927]

Welcome to the new way this game is played. No longer being 35 means being a MAN MAN. Nope. 35 nowadays = just getting into the game and being on this planet long enough to.find at least one woman willing to go through the motions for a brief period of time. A situationship is most likely instigated bybthe WOMAN, because IF a man initiated this arrangement it would mean1. He's a player.2. She is beneath his smv or his standard and 3.thus he won't GAF if she walks away because he deliberately left the door open for her to disappear whenever she wants.

Tbh I've just been in a similar situation where I simply had no better prospects than a "situationship" . It all comes down to (creating) plenty of options vs being content with whatever life throws your way..it's all about power dynamics.

A ldr situationship = hardly ever having sex ,let alone doing fun, spontaneous shyte together, no boorycalls ect. It's two people having a hard time finding someone the REALLY into thus they settle for this shyte arrangement. Funny to think about how up untill recently this would be a marriage, nowadays it's just a situationship..

That makes sense. It was definitely initiated by her. I would have been find walking away after we hooked up but she kept reaching out to me and basically love bombing me so I got attached to it. In the future I need to set better boundaries and be straightforward. TBH I don't think I would ever put myself in a LDR of any kind ever again.

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah I agree with you. How do I stop the needy behavior? Typically I start feeling really attached and needy when I get attracted to someone

- become a high value man ( however YOU define this.

- LIFT

- be willing to walk away.

- while simultaneously keep.the eagerness to conquer new p00sy.

- work with "the yellow / red card " system. One mistake = 50 % out the door. Second mistake = gone. Because disrespectful behaviour means she will walk away soon anyway..

- I can go on and on..

 

[BPH]

Yeah I agree with you. How do I stop the needy behavior? Typically I start feeling really attached and needy when I get attracted to someone

Basically do what you were doing with this woman BEFORE this conversation, but with multiple women.

Have options.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I agree with you. How do I stop the needy behavior? Typically I start feeling really attached and needy when I get attracted to someone

You continue talking to and dating other women. When you have no options,the one option you have becomes far too important and valuable and you begin to fixate on her.