hey guys i really need some help here. just a while ago. my girlfriend of nearly 2 years broke up with me. and i know that im still young but it hurts because we saw each other everyday and like we were basically married. she sed she isnt ready for commitment. and now shes all sad and depressed and whenever we talk its akward. she seys she loves and still but she gets all sad and stuff when we talk. and i dont know what to do. im trying to move on. and she sed she is to. but she seys she still loves me... what should i do guys help!!!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
broke up and i need help
- Thread starter dlin87
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
ApocalypseCow2
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I just got out of a two year relationship myself. For your sanity, you have to cut off all contact with this girl. Spend time with your friends. Forget about girls for awhile and enjoy your new found freedom.
If she said she still loves you, she's probably trying to spare your feelings. Pay no attention to what she says. When your in the midst of a breakup, it's Mixed-Signals City.
If she said she still loves you, she's probably trying to spare your feelings. Pay no attention to what she says. When your in the midst of a breakup, it's Mixed-Signals City.
TillTheEndOfTime
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Apocalypse is right. DON'T listen to ANYTHING she says now. It's all a load of BS.
If she "still loves you", then she would NOT have broken up with you in the first place. Breaking up with you was the final indication that she no longer does. She's just being selfish by making it out to be like you still have a chance when you really do not. She's just saying this BS to keep you in her life as support. Don't fall in the trap. It is over. Completely.
Cut her out of your life in every way possible. Move on.
If she "still loves you", then she would NOT have broken up with you in the first place. Breaking up with you was the final indication that she no longer does. She's just being selfish by making it out to be like you still have a chance when you really do not. She's just saying this BS to keep you in her life as support. Don't fall in the trap. It is over. Completely.
Cut her out of your life in every way possible. Move on.
and belive me, even if you were to get back together. you'll break up again 90% of all relationships that end the first time around usally means its done
i dunno why people get back together however it NEVER last. the same problem will keep surfaceing
i dunno why people get back together however it NEVER last. the same problem will keep surfaceing
LostbutFound
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Breaking up can suck...yes it may of happened for a reason...but sometimes it happens for stupid reasons and people grow up and realize what happened was, in fact, stupid...
Be careful that she is not talking to you just to make herself feel better...It has been my experience that some girls talk to their ex's so they dont feel so bad about what they did...but at the same time, the ex is gettin a false sense of hope that things will work out...sometimes things are going bad for the girl, and she calls the ex and uses him to feel better and then she takes off again until she needs him to make her feel better again...yes, I am saying this is what happened...
I am telling you this cause you need to step back and take a look at whats going on...It happened to me because when you are emotionally involved with someone and stuck right in the middle of things, its hard to see what the big picture is...You need to step back and evaluate whats going on and if this is good for you or not...
If its not, then break off all communication...no calls, emails, text messages, etc....if you feel it is not in your best interest, then why stick with it?
Be careful that she is not talking to you just to make herself feel better...It has been my experience that some girls talk to their ex's so they dont feel so bad about what they did...but at the same time, the ex is gettin a false sense of hope that things will work out...sometimes things are going bad for the girl, and she calls the ex and uses him to feel better and then she takes off again until she needs him to make her feel better again...yes, I am saying this is what happened...
I am telling you this cause you need to step back and take a look at whats going on...It happened to me because when you are emotionally involved with someone and stuck right in the middle of things, its hard to see what the big picture is...You need to step back and evaluate whats going on and if this is good for you or not...
If its not, then break off all communication...no calls, emails, text messages, etc....if you feel it is not in your best interest, then why stick with it?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Alot of good advice here. But I want to point out that many times people break up for a while (especially when younger) and then get back together again stronger than ever. It happens all the time. If you ask married couples about their dating days, many will tell you they split up or something at one time.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
I've never really noticed that with couples Bigfoot. If they break up once, young or not, it's almost with 100% certainity just a matter of time before it's over completely.
There are always exceptions of couse though
There are always exceptions of couse though
I can think of two examples : my sister broke up with her husband for about 6 months before they got engaged. My friend broke up with her husband several times before they got married (although the marriage isn't that great I'll admit)
I'm sure alot of other people know similar situations.
I'm sure alot of other people know similar situations.
belividere
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use the search function and see how many people come on here with the same problem. That is the best way to find the greatest advice on here.
Check it out
I just broke with my gf (3 days ago) because I didn't want to stay in such a commited relationship and trust me, I do love her.
However, If someone isn't at that point in there life, no amount of love or pleading will get them ready.
You'd be best off trying to cut contact and keeping yourself busy because she isn't about to change right away. She feels she still has some single, unfinished business.
I just broke with my gf (3 days ago) because I didn't want to stay in such a commited relationship and trust me, I do love her.
However, If someone isn't at that point in there life, no amount of love or pleading will get them ready.
You'd be best off trying to cut contact and keeping yourself busy because she isn't about to change right away. She feels she still has some single, unfinished business.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
Cut off contact with her now, and give her that freedom she so wants.
she will use you in the meantime for emotional support as long as you keep in contact with her.
you do not want to be used....
your young so you will eventually figure this out.
she will use you in the meantime for emotional support as long as you keep in contact with her.
you do not want to be used....
your young so you will eventually figure this out.
RedKnight04
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Not sure but based on what you wrote about the situation, you didn't show her that passion anymore. You even said yourself you felt married, thats too attached. She didn't feel "it" anymore.
Remember this lesson: Women can only experience real passion for if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you.
In any case, you learned a lesson and I'm sure you don't want to be stomped on anymore by this chick. Man up and move on.
Remember this lesson: Women can only experience real passion for if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you.
In any case, you learned a lesson and I'm sure you don't want to be stomped on anymore by this chick. Man up and move on.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
This guy can't be helped till he makes the commitment to move on from the grieving process... and stop all contact with her!!!
And... if you're thinking about trying to hook back up with her, you won't succeed... Its those guys that don't try hard.... that are the ones that make it...
Go on... prove me wrong!!!
And... if you're thinking about trying to hook back up with her, you won't succeed... Its those guys that don't try hard.... that are the ones that make it...
Go on... prove me wrong!!!
Most of everyone's advice is solid... Cutting off contact as well as getting in touch with friends and perhaps making new ones.
I'm not sure what Bigfoot is trying to say because he believes in hope (perhaps he is going by what he is experiencing right now.) But the majority of posts in this thread suggest post-experience where everyone recommends you discontinue contact. I prefer the post-experience advice rather than current experience of hope or the lost of hope.
I'm not sure what Bigfoot is trying to say because he believes in hope (perhaps he is going by what he is experiencing right now.) But the majority of posts in this thread suggest post-experience where everyone recommends you discontinue contact. I prefer the post-experience advice rather than current experience of hope or the lost of hope.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.