"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Broke them up, now a cluster f**k

Helpabrotherout

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So I’ve been talking to this girl for multiple years. I’ve heard all the bull chit he put her through. I’m not one to step in between a relationship because it’s too much of a cluster **** but over the summer we got to talking and ended up hanging out, month later they broke up and we had sex. 5 months later her and him still live together. Still do stuff together but she comes over and everytime she does, we f**k. We have a pretty good connection and when we’re together it’s great! It’s actually almost perfect. She always tells me she loves me.

Here’s the mess. As I said, they still live together. She tells me to have patience because we will end up together, so she says. It’s been 5 months!! How do I get this girl to pull her head out of this low life’s ass and get unattached from him and come my way? I’m tired of sharing this girl. I have no clue if she goes home and cuddles up next to this dude or not. She often asks me if I still talk to so and so and if I don’t text her back she responds with excuse me? And I ask what, she says you ignored me. I’m trying to curve this to more of her and I time other than texting buddies. But the second I don’t text her back she gets upset. I feel like she’s on this but she’s got attachment issues and doesn’t want to let this loser go. So she could be sleeping with him so he hangs around and sleeps with me to keep me around. I’m tired of the mess. What would you all do. I want this girl. For some reason she’s got what it is. The sun shines out her ass for me -__- I’m getting burnt out though. It’s coming up on half a year of this mess. Ghost her?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

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So I’ve been talking to this girl for multiple years. I’ve heard all the bull chit he put her through. I’m not one to step in between a relationship because it’s too much of a cluster **** but over the summer we got to talking and ended up hanging out, month later they broke up and we had sex. 5 months later her and him still live together. Still do stuff together but she comes over and everytime she does, we f**k. We have a pretty good connection and when we’re together it’s great! It’s actually almost perfect. She always tells me she loves me.

Here’s the mess. As I said, they still live together. She tells me to have patience because we will end up together, so she says. It’s been 5 months!! How do I get this girl to pull her head out of this low life’s ass and get unattached from him and come my way? I’m tired of sharing this girl. I have no clue if she goes home and cuddles up next to this dude or not. She often asks me if I still talk to so and so and if I don’t text her back she responds with excuse me? And I ask what, she says you ignored me. I’m trying to curve this to more of her and I time other than texting buddies. But the second I don’t text her back she gets upset. I feel like she’s on this but she’s got attachment issues and doesn’t want to let this loser go. So she could be sleeping with him so he hangs around and sleeps with me to keep me around. I’m tired of the mess. What would you all do. I want this girl. For some reason she’s got what it is. The sun shines out her ass for me -__- I’m getting burnt out though. It’s coming up on half a year of this mess. Ghost her?
If your part of this sharing shyt add another female.
 

marmel75

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Why would you want a woman like this? So you could take the place of that dude and someone else could take your role with her?

This chick is a loser. Aspire for better
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Spaz

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Why would you want a woman like this? So you could take the place of that dude and someone else could take your role with her?

This chick is a loser. Aspire for better
The chick is not a loser here.

OP is.

She's having the best of both worlds and manipulating 2 men at once.

She's enjoying her alpha female status amongst her female bff's and every gal there is jealous, envious, eating up every word she says. Trying their best to emulate her success. Bet she even shows them proof of her manipulation powers by displaying those needy texts her 2 lovers sends to her....and that's when they all start to laugh.

She's now at the top hierarchy of her herd by using some elementary feminine tricks.

The status ALL women aspires to be.
 

Dash Riprock

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OP is getting played worse than Slash on his Les Paul.

Damn, painful to read.

The ONE thing OP could do is dump her, but be extra sweet when he does, it will work in his favor. Many things he could say but ultimately he needs to communicate the whole thing is not working for him and he's going to start dating other people. No negotiation. Then he goes NC. She will go ballistic because suddenly she's lost leverage.

Now, OP will have to be a man and not give in. But, he can watch the situation closely and if she does get rid of the other guy at some point, then he can start dating her again, but ONLY then.

This whole thing, known as the Preemptive Breakup takes guts and balls. I honestly don't think OP can pull it off, but that's his ONE shot if he wants her.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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The chick is not a loser here.

OP is.

She's having the best of both worlds and manipulating 2 men at once.

She's enjoying her alpha female status amongst her female bff's and every gal there is jealous, envious, eating up every word she says. Trying their best to emulate her success. Bet she even shows them proof of her manipulation powers by displaying those needy texts her 2 lovers sends to her....and that's when they all start to laugh.

She's now at the top hierarchy of her herd by using some elementary feminine tricks.

The status ALL women aspires to be.
Yeah but if you want a woman shes not the type
 

Spaz

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Yeah but if you want a woman shes not the type
Yes in OP's context and no to the dichotomy on the types of women.

It doesn't matter what type. Even a masculine woman when in the presence of a man whose masculinity exceeds hers by a far margin WILL revert to her femininity, her default setting.

It all boils down to the type of leadership her man provides.

Women r chameleons, always changing to suit the environment she is in, it's her biological imperative = survival.

Today she's a complete hoe and yet tomorrow she has that ability to put on the naive virgin hat.

However in OP's case, it is too late, he has failed in his leadership, once it's gone too far such as in this case, there's no turning it back within the relationship. Only option is dropping her.
 

soulforge

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Have to agree!

OP is the loser here.. That hoe is getting pounded by multiple ****s and has both these morons in the palm of her hand.

Let me guess this right op.. The best you can do for yourself is to settle for a cheater?

This is what you aspire to.. Hanging on for someone else's left overs?

Dude you need to set higher standards for yourself.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Doctor Europeo

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OP this girl should just be a f0ck buddy, nothing more. She´s not worth exclusivity. Not worth you wondering about the other guy. She can either accept the f0ck buddy status or hit the road.
 

mrgoodstuff

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OP this girl should just be a f0ck buddy, nothing more. She´s not worth exclusivity. Not worth you wondering about the other guy. She can either accept the f0ck buddy status or hit the road.
Fbck buddy should know you fvck others
 

soulforge

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My guess is, OP
This is always why.

The odd thing is, this is one of the very rare times you can fully screen for her true character as she is showing you her darkest side while cheating yet you still accept that...done it myself so I do get it
My guess is, OP believes he is special.. She couldn't possibly cheat on him.

He is going to find out the hard way, when she is branch swinging to the next guy after him!

And to answer Ops question, are they still cuddling or banging? Hell yes they are!

Dude she is considering leaving him, however she has to keep up the deception, up until she is ready.

If she totally stopped the cuddling and the fuking, her current guy would figure out something is up or figure out another dog is in the yard.

So for now, she will be riding him hard, all kinds of crazy positions.

Guess you can pick up from where he left off after.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Even worse, women that cheat gas your head up to make your connection itself seem special compared to with her BF. That's the worst logic ever, a truly special relationship is when a single girl chooses you out of abundance not one guy better than one other guy.
I knew a female had a 17 years history she had bfs shed swap in and out like spark plugs. They would last 2-5 years. Demasculated stripped of power. She was excited and into EVERYONE else. Loved the world. They usually have someone their fvcking. Some stray dycks get tested out occasionally. The main dyck is usually detached and unreliable. She pursues him. The cvck guy gets an occasional crumb. She treats anyone better than the bf.
 

Billtx49

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So for now, she will be riding him hard, all kinds of crazy positions.

Guess you can pick up from where he left off after.
Yes, it’s a lot like running a two man train on a woman, but the guys are seperated by space and time…
I personally don’t see how the woman can do it without feeling like a hoe, but it does tell you about her lack of standards.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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mrgoodstuff

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Yes, it’s a lot like running a two man train on a woman, but the guys are seperated by space and time…
I personally don’t see how the woman can do it without feeling like a hoe.
It is a hoe. All that double minded juggling is why we complaining about bpd.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yup. And I gave a couple of those women credit for their 5 year relationships "see, she likes stable LTRs"...must have been hell for the bfs.
Straight demonic. Those guys must be beyond emotionally starved. Take one aside show him the player light.
 

Murk

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This girl is really living.

Withdraw from the emotional tampon act, and get more women on the roster. She’s defo fvcking her bf, just remember him creampie’ing this wh0re next time you’re up at 1am thinking about her with your alarm set for work in a few hours.
 
R

Ranger

Guest
The chick is not a loser here.

OP is.

She's having the best of both worlds and manipulating 2 men at once.

She's enjoying her alpha female status amongst her female bff's and every gal there is jealous, envious, eating up every word she says. Trying their best to emulate her success. Bet she even shows them proof of her manipulation powers by displaying those needy texts her 2 lovers sends to her....and that's when they all start to laugh.

She's now at the top hierarchy of her herd by using some elementary feminine tricks.

The status ALL women aspires to be.
Lol. I was waiting for someone to bring it up. Shes styling like a champ. She’s got it going on.
Natural born plate spinners.
Spin them plates baby. Lol
 
R

Ranger

Guest
She’s a good teacher for men. Men should be doing this.
She gets mad when he doesn’t text back. LMAO
She doesn’t want the OP to spin plates. How quaint.
I give you the American girlfriend. Hahahahaha
The sun even shines out her a$$.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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