The girl I'm gaming talked about her boyfriend with me several times, is this good or bad? I know she's quite interested in me but I feel really uncomfortable when she talks about that and don't really know what to do in that situation. Any help?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Bringing up her boyfriend during conversation
- Thread starter Avn_0903
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
It's possible she's either testing you or implying she isn't interested. However, you say all other signs point to interest, so she's testing you.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
betterthandead
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I think you both need to fix whatever game you're playing. I'd move on to better prospects if a girl started talking about ex/any other guy she's dating when I didn't ask for it so early in the getting to know you stage.
nismo-4
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At times like this, CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!! THIS IS A 2-WAY CONVERSATION! NO THIRD PARTIES!!! Those who linger on the girl's boyfriend end up in the friend zone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Social_disturbance
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I say just aknowledge it quickly and change the subject to something else.
nismo-4
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Dind ding ding ding ding!!!Social_disturbance said:
You hit the nail on the head!
What I think can work too, is that if she is REALLY interested in you, but still a little shaky, you can bring up another woman.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What is she saying and under what circumstances?Avn_0903 said:
This is key too.Francisco d'Anconia said:
If she is like... Yeah, our relationhsip sucks, or its all negative, great. If she is like...So we are going out tonight and then back to his place....
You might want to put on the ear muffs. lol