The girl I'm gaming talked about her boyfriend with me several times, is this good or bad? I know she's quite interested in me but I feel really uncomfortable when she talks about that and don't really know what to do in that situation. Any help?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bringing up her boyfriend during conversation
- Thread starter Avn_0903
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
It's possible she's either testing you or implying she isn't interested. However, you say all other signs point to interest, so she's testing you.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
betterthandead
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I think you both need to fix whatever game you're playing. I'd move on to better prospects if a girl started talking about ex/any other guy she's dating when I didn't ask for it so early in the getting to know you stage.
nismo-4
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At times like this, CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!! THIS IS A 2-WAY CONVERSATION! NO THIRD PARTIES!!! Those who linger on the girl's boyfriend end up in the friend zone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Social_disturbance
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I say just aknowledge it quickly and change the subject to something else.
nismo-4
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Dind ding ding ding ding!!!Social_disturbance said:
You hit the nail on the head!
What I think can work too, is that if she is REALLY interested in you, but still a little shaky, you can bring up another woman.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What is she saying and under what circumstances?Avn_0903 said:
This is key too.Francisco d'Anconia said:
If she is like... Yeah, our relationhsip sucks, or its all negative, great. If she is like...So we are going out tonight and then back to his place....
You might want to put on the ear muffs. lol