The girl I'm gaming talked about her boyfriend with me several times, is this good or bad? I know she's quite interested in me but I feel really uncomfortable when she talks about that and don't really know what to do in that situation. Any help?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Bringing up her boyfriend during conversation
- Thread starter Avn_0903
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
It's possible she's either testing you or implying she isn't interested. However, you say all other signs point to interest, so she's testing you.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
Don't make a big deal of it, that's how you fail tests. Don't become her emotional tampon for listening about his problems, and don't try to dissuade her from dating him if she brings up his faults. Just say "Oh, bet he's a great guy" and continue gaming. You could also say (if she says she shouldn't be doing whatever with you because she has a bf) "I won't tell".
I've personally found the biggest kiss of death to a boyfriend is simply saying "You could do better". She'll then mull it over and more than likely realize your right. Say it nonchalant though like it was just an observation, don't get all dramatic with it.
betterthandead
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I think you both need to fix whatever game you're playing. I'd move on to better prospects if a girl started talking about ex/any other guy she's dating when I didn't ask for it so early in the getting to know you stage.
nismo-4
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At times like this, CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!! THIS IS A 2-WAY CONVERSATION! NO THIRD PARTIES!!! Those who linger on the girl's boyfriend end up in the friend zone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT alienate the boyfriend. AFC sh*t. :nono: If he comes up, say that he can cook you and the girl breakfast in bed! Or a homecooked meal with a DVD movie rental from blockbuster!
Otherwise, Viking25 had some great advice that you should follow up with. Enjoy!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Social_disturbance
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I say just aknowledge it quickly and change the subject to something else.
nismo-4
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Dind ding ding ding ding!!!Social_disturbance said:
You hit the nail on the head!
What I think can work too, is that if she is REALLY interested in you, but still a little shaky, you can bring up another woman.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
I was gaming a girl, she had a boyfriend, and then the boyfriend knew I had texted her, and then said i'd have to deal with him, but I never said anything back to him. I later just kind of moved on. Now not 100% moved on, but in her eyes it will be. I set everything out there on the table, and now its her decision what she wants. She knows what she has, and can have.
In fact I think this woman is so confused in what she should do, she is scared.
But what I will do, is mention another woman. You have to show them you are wanted, and that they aren't the only one out there worth your time.
Next time i'll see her i'll say hi, and then be like... So I think I might ask this girl out I went to college with. Really nice girl, blah blah....
For one, she'll wonder why the hell I am talking about another woman when I was really after her. She then realized... Oh yeah I think he is moving on, and if she thinks in her mind she messed up, and she cant make up her mind, she'll make it up real quick if she knows I MAY BE TAKEN.
I can say that this girls brain will race at the speed of sound with the mention of another woman. She KNOWS what she is missing, and heaven forbid some other woman gets me besides her.
FVCK THAT! she'll think, I want him, I still have a chance, so I better make my move before someone else gets him.
You have to see HOW interested in their boyfriend they are. Some girls have them to have them. Hey look... I have a boyfriend. Are they happy? NO! Are they waiting for better? Maybe. Depends on the woman. If no one comes along, they wont know any better.
Girls test guys in MANY ways, and you have to do the best you can with what you have.
But remember that every time you do something, you learn something. You'll learn many lessons. In fact I am learning new things now with this girl.
In my situation, I HAVE NEVER HEARD HIS NAME OR HER SPEAK OF HIM. I have seen him probably 5 times or so, but she has never spoken of him to me. She never tells me what they do, or anything. He only EXISTS. If I was REALLY happy with my relationship i'd be blabbing about it all of the time. And most of the time girls who are really happy will do this... X and I are going out to X, or we are doing this, that, etc etc. You'll know their life story if they are happy, and then dont even go that route.
Other woman wont even mention the guy cause they still want to see what is out there. I also only found out this one had a boyfriend from someone else. She never TOLD ME she had one.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What is she saying and under what circumstances?Avn_0903 said:
This is key too.Francisco d'Anconia said:
If she is like... Yeah, our relationhsip sucks, or its all negative, great. If she is like...So we are going out tonight and then back to his place....
You might want to put on the ear muffs. lol