Brief night out on the town by myself, need some feedback

[sangheilios]

This evening I decided to go hit the nightlife out here in my city by myself, first time going solo in quite a while. On my drive there I was just telling myself to go in with no expectations and just use this as a warmup/feeler to get comfortable with this type of environment again instead of pressuring myself to approach a certain number of women.

Anyway, I have a particular place that I like to go to that is primarily outside, I feel less claustrophobic in that type of environment so I tend to prefer that. When I walk in I intentionally make a habit of walking really slow and just casually looking around, this sounds dumb but it's just kind of a reminder to myself to appear relaxed, as I tend to be a bit anxious to a degree. I noticed a ton of women staring at me, which I know isn't a bad thing, so it was a confidence booster but kind of made me feel a bit self conscious. I make my way outside and within 30 seconds I see this latina, around late 30s to early 40s, in a tight white dress that displayed her amazing ass and hips. I grabbed a soda and was briefly composing myself to approach but due to my hesitation I missed that opportunity, as the woman and the friend she was with went to the dance floor. I grabbed a seat just to enjoy the music and regather myself.

I was there for about an hour and just hung out by myself at different parts of the venue, again just getting reacquainted with going solo again. Later on I was sitting down on a bench and the woman in her white dress and her friend weren't standing all that far from me and I was gathering up the energy needed to approach. I was literally about to approach when they both turned to look and stare at me lol. It really caught me off guard and I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or if it was because I might have unwittingly been staring and it came off as creepy. Since I wasn't sure and this was the first time getting back into solo game for quite a while I figured it was a better call to just let it go and not approach.

I ended up leaving not that long after but congratulated myself for getting back into this. I'm also planning on doing this on a regular basis, as I feel seeing opportunities such as this will greatly help me.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Keep taking actions that grow you and move you forward! Over time they will add up! You will have grown and your life will reflect it.

Good for you @sangheilios!

 

[lamath]

This evening I decided to go hit the nightlife out here in my city by myself, first time going solo in quite a while. On my drive there I was just telling myself to go in with no expectations and just use this as a warmup/feeler to get comfortable with this type of environment again instead of pressuring myself to approach a certain number of women.

Anyway, I have a particular place that I like to go to that is primarily outside, I feel less claustrophobic in that type of environment so I tend to prefer that. When I walk in I intentionally make a habit of walking really slow and just casually looking around, this sounds dumb but it's just kind of a reminder to myself to appear relaxed, as I tend to be a bit anxious to a degree. I noticed a ton of women staring at me, which I know isn't a bad thing, so it was a confidence booster but kind of made me feel a bit self conscious. I make my way outside and within 30 seconds I see this latina, around late 30s to early 40s, in a tight white dress that displayed her amazing ass and hips. I grabbed a soda and was briefly composing myself to approach but due to my hesitation I missed that opportunity, as the woman and the friend she was with went to the dance floor. I grabbed a seat just to enjoy the music and regather myself.

I was there for about an hour and just hung out by myself at different parts of the venue, again just getting reacquainted with going solo again. Later on I was sitting down on a bench and the woman in her white dress and her friend weren't standing all that far from me and I was gathering up the energy needed to approach. I was literally about to approach when they both turned to look and stare at me lol. It really caught me off guard and I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or if it was because I might have unwittingly been staring and it came off as creepy. Since I wasn't sure and this was the first time getting back into solo game for quite a while I figured it was a better call to just let it go and not approach.

I ended up leaving not that long after but congratulated myself for getting back into this. I'm also planning on doing this on a regular basis, as I feel seeing opportunities such as this will greatly help me.

Always assume its interest.
Next time use the 3 sec rules

 

[Spaz]

3 second rule?

Explain.

 

[lamath]

Copy paste from google

The point of the 3 second rule. The point of the 3 second rule is to encourage you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and and to avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear.

 

[Spaz]

Copy paste from google

The point of the 3 second rule. The point of the 3 second rule is to encourage you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and and to avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear.

Never heard of it and I don't follow it.

Actually I don't have any set rule at all when it comes to approaching women, it's all about instincts or rather how my d1ck reacts to certain women.

I let my d1ck choose the women I approach, never my mind or heart.

As for the timing itself, it all boils down to body language.

 

[lamath]

Never heard of it and I don't follow it.

Actually I don't have any set rule at all when it comes to approaching women, it's all about instincts or rather how my d1ck reacts to certain women.

I let my d1ck choose the women I approach, never my mind or heart.

This work for you, but read op this would actualy benifit him.
Not overthinking things

 

[Spaz]

This work for you, but read op this would actualy benifit him.
Not overthinking things

Instead of rules, why don't he learn to gauge a woman's interest?

Then there's no rule.

He then makes the rules in the approach.

He is now no longer a follower of rules but the maker of rules, he now has power over the outcome.

The only rule that's true is that women will display overt signals either consciously or subconsciously to a man she finds attractive - she can't help it nor have much control over it.

Different mindsets will yield you different results.

 

[lamath]

Instead of rules, why don't he learn to gauge a woman's interest?

Then there's no rule.

He then makes the rules in the approach.

He is now no longer a follower of rules but the maker of rules, he now has power over the outcome.

The only rule that's true is that women will display overt signals either consciously or subconsciously to a man she finds attractive - she can't help it nor have much control over it.

Different mindsets will yield you different results.

I agree and sign of interest are not that hard to spot, its also a confidence booster.

But got to kill that hesitation, op was finding reason to not go for it.

Imo need to assume interest and not question hiself

 

[Mike32ct]

Step one is getting comfortable in the nightlife scene alone. I hope you otherwise had a good time and found a place that you would like to return to. Nobody else talks about this, but it's so important. If you hate the venue or feel awkward there, you're starting with a huge disadvantage.

But, for next time, I will say that you getting so much eye contact is great news. If women aren't attracted, they will totally ignore you, avoid all eye contact and pretend you aren't there*.

Plus you were targeting an older woman. Older women are typically less nasty even if they do reject you. They have more life experience and more empathy for guys than a 21 yo.

So next time, you know what to do. Nothing to add to what the others have said.

*Don't ask how I know this lol.

 

[sangheilios]

Step one is getting comfortable in the nightlife scene alone. I hope you otherwise had a good time and found a place that you would like to return to. Nobody else talks about this, but it's so important. If you hate the venue or feel awkward there, you're starting with a huge disadvantage.

But, for next time, I will say that you getting so much eye contact is great news. If women aren't attracted, they will totally ignore you, avoid all eye contact and pretend you aren't there*.

Plus you were targeting an older woman. Older women are typically less nasty even if they do reject you. They have more life experience and more empathy for guys than a 21 yo.

So next time, you know what to do. Nothing to add to what the others have said.

*Don't ask how I know this lol.

I actually did have a good time and the place that I chose is my preferred place out here, even with friends. Last fall I had a brief stint of going out solo and I'd always go to this particular place, as I said it has a huge outdoor area which makes me feel less claustrophobic.

That's what I was feeling as well, but since I was alone part of me felt slightly awkward, again this is just getting comfortable again being by myself.

She was a very attractive latina milf, but like you said I feel that with an older woman/women I probably will have a better vibe with them.

Like I said, I'm thinking of going out solo by myself a bit more often but I do have a much better time when I go with a friend, find it far easier to talk to women there, etc. The problem is that they all have their own lives and often aren't up to it so I feel I need to work on my solo game instead of having to rely upon them.

 

[Mike32ct]

I actually did have a good time and the place that I chose is my preferred place out here, even with friends. Last fall I had a brief stint of going out solo and I'd always go to this particular place, as I said it has a huge outdoor area which makes me feel less claustrophobic.

Perfect.

That's what I was feeling as well, but since I was alone part of me felt slightly awkward, again this is just getting comfortable again being by myself.

That's fine. Baby steps.

She was a very attractive latina milf, but like you said I feel that with an older woman/women I probably will have a better vibe with them.

Yes. I'm not necessarily saying rule out younger women. But if you have a good feeling/intuition about an older broad, go for it.

Like I said, I'm thinking of going out solo by myself a bit more often but I do have a much better time when I go with a friend, find it far easier to talk to women there, etc. The problem is that they all have their own lives and often aren't up to it so I feel I need to work on my solo game instead of having to rely upon them.

Absolutely.

 

[redskinsfan92]

3 second rule?

Explain.

It's a pua rule. Read about in The Game.

 

[Spaz]

It's a pua rule. Read about in The Game.

My game is tight. I've no need for rules nor books on seduction.

I make my own rules.

 

[redskinsfan92]

My game is tight. I've no need for rules nor books on seduction.

I make my own rules.

I worded that poorly. My phone's touchscreen is acting up. I meant that I read about it in The Game. It's a book about Mystery and some other pua's.

 

[Spaz]

I worded that poorly. My phone's touchscreen is acting up. I meant that I read about it in The Game. It's a book about Mystery and some other pua's.

No worries Redskin.

Its cool.