"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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breaking the ice on the dance floor

Pathgen

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I've been going out to bars and clubs the last couple of weeks. I've been having a lot of fun and like to dance. Anyhow, I always get these looks from girls, sometimes they are tense and sometimes they are really sexy. What they all have in common though is that they fade away when I don't do anything.

I recognize that they are probably attracted to me, but I don't know the next step. If a girl gives you a look do you just go dance with her. Asking her to dance seems weak, but doing nothing is getting me no where. Actually asking her to dance seems dumb, since we are already dancing. My question is what do you guys do when you are in that situation or what would you do if you were.

It literally takes 8 seconds then the girls seem to act like you had your chance, and they don't act interested anymore.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PDubb75

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What about something along the lines of "Don't worry, I'll try not to completely show you up with my unbelievable moves" and just start dancing with her?
 

Don Wha

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Hold the eye contact, extend your hand out and reach for hers. Give her a fun twirl while pulling her closer to you. Easiest, simplest & most effective ice breaker I've used on the dance floor.
 

MartyMcFly

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Social_Leper said:
Ditto. You don't even need to speak. Actually trying to start a conversation in the middle of the dance floor can actually work against you. Seriously though how often are girls in the nucleus of the dance floor really going to be looking for a long winded conversation.
Agreed, afterwards see if she'll come back to a less noisy part of the club with you so you guys can get to know eachother.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Masculinity

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I agree with Don Wha. Just keep dancing and having fun and when you get that look (I know exactly what look you mean), grab her by the hand and start a "dancing competition." Bust out a move (cool one preferably), and then let her battle you back. I usually do a silly move and they start smiling and a few minutes later, BAM! number close.
 

nismo-4

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From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Another open and shut case for Judge nismo.

1. Get on the dance floor (Don't stare at that sh*t.)

2. There's no need to say sh*t, so just dance by a girl confidently. Who gives a f**k if you can't dance. I can't! But I copy moves from video games and music videos.

3. Grab the girl's hand and evolve that into a twirl or a salsa. Or challenge her to a little dance off.

4. Now that she's into you, get the digits or kiss close.

5. Take pdub's advice too!

6. Don't use a goddamn pickup line. DON'T!!!

Case closed. Have fun on the floor!
 

DantesPEAK

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Don Wha said:
Hold the eye contact, extend your hand out and reach for hers. Give her a fun twirl while pulling her closer to you. Easiest, simplest & most effective ice breaker I've used on the dance floor.

I agree. This works fellas. I either do this, or i would dance right next to them as if i was giving them a little booty bump. They will laugh and eventually start a mini dance battle.


See them later at the bar and i ask them:

Me: We should go out
Her: Sorry i have a boyfriend
Me: I have a fish
Her: Huh?
Me: Oh, i thought we were talking about things that don't matter.
Her: She laughs and then buys you a drink.

hahaha. ;)

Hey Don Wha, what part of San Diego? I'm located in Chula Vista.
 
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