It seems most people on this forum are looking for the most in-depth explanations they can find when it comes to picking up women. Nobody cares what works and what doesn't. Everyone wants to know why. This is an artical written a while back by Tyler Durden on what it really means to "play hard to get" and the psychological response it creates in women. Trust me, the article is F*CKING GOLD. I know its long, but don't bother reading it unless you plan on reading the whole thing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLAYING HARD TO GET - BEING A CHALLENGE - BEING THE PRIZE
I talked about posting some more advanced material for guys who are interested.
Here is a first helping. If you're not interested in dense material, read
something else.
This is one of the most important posts I've written in some time, and it will
likely go misunderstood given that most guys will not have the field experience
to appreciate it. It is the most important thread I've posted in six months.
For guys who can gain attraction very consistently, but still have trouble
getting laid: read this post until you have it down.
A few things to keep in mind, I want to throw out here:
-Buying Temperature Spikes
-S/C Switch (Screening vs Chasing switch)
-Social hook point and sexual hook point
-Female psychology (autopilot responses, socially conditioned buying
temperature regulation, value responses, choice making f*ck rationalizations)
-Bodylanguage subcommunication of hard-to-getness (the idea of not saying
you're hard to get, but communicating it with your bodylanguage)
***This post is directed towards girls who you ascertain are attracted to
challenging guys. Not all girls are like this, but many hot girls are. Again,
many aren't. For guys use or advocate other styles which don't make use of
this sort of stuff, the reason that they are getting laid is that they using
other means of getting laid. There is more than one style. This post is
something that is useful for guys in my context, and if you're using a totally
different style than me, then this stuff may be useless to you.
SOME ROUGH THOUGHTS ON FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY:
Many of the hottest girls are extremely responsive to hard to get guys. Anyone
in field has experienced the scenario where he plays hard to get and having the
girl chase, but as soon as he shows interest he is blown out. This can happen
even as late as the bedroom. Like, you'll have a girl chasing you all night,
isolate you back home, but because you make the first move, she locks up and
the pickup is over.
There are several reasons behind this, and in any given situation one or all of these reasons may have caused the lockup:
Firstly, you have autopilot responses. Think to the last time that you walked
down the street, and a vagrant asked you for change. Perhaps you said "no",
and kept walking. You don't consider it a lie. It's just an autopilot
response to a social situation. Girls are the same with the LJGD ("let's just
go dance") or "let's go to the bathroom", when their buying temperature goes
down and their logical social conditioning kicks in and says "This guy is
trying to sleep with us. He may be attractive, but who cares, I'm not meeting
a guy at a club. I'm leaving this situation to go dance, because that's why I
came to the club in the first place."
Notice also, how in all of the times that you've told a vagrant "no" when you
were asked for spare change, there were those few times when someone asked you
for help, and you said "no" out of habit, when in fact as you walked off you
might have thought to yourself "Sh*t, maybe that guys' car really did break
down. He didn't look like a vagrant. I wonder if I was a d*ck to him?"
The same goes for girls. They'll screen guys out as an auto-pilot response,
and later wonder if they made a mistake (but they don't care, because another
guy will come along in two seconds anyway). Attraction and how alpha or how
sexual you are is not a factor here. Even very attractive guys get screened
out for no logical reason. This is purely an autopilot response that you have
to recognize and dodge. That is why we use opening tactics - they open
consistently.
Likewise, girls will leave a set as their buying temperature increases too
fast, as an autopilot response. They think "I don't know this guy. This guy
knows what he's doing, and probably does it to all the girls. I'm getting out
of here." This is why we use fractionation tactics, so as to avoid her
disengaging you. Note also, that typical C&F push/pull is NOT a fractionation
tactic. C&F and the like is not indirect, even if you are flirting around that
you are hard to get. Girls know that if you're taking the time to engage them,
even in a C&F hard to get flirtish type way, that it is not the case that you
are *legitimately* hard to get. This is in the same way that when a girl comes
up to me and says that my shirt is stupid - I know that she wants me. There is
no difference. C&F is simply a *competent* way of flirting, that says a
million and one great things about you. It's still (arguably, depending on
semantics) a direct approach in some ways. It's just a direct approach that
girls like, because it still shows that you are willing to walk away - you're
interested, but you can take it or leave it. So that said, you can see how
"You're my new girlfriend.. No wait, you don't have x-whatever? We're broken
up." is not a fractionation technique. It's highly competent flirting, but its
not *actually* conveying that you don't want her in a way where she really
believes it.
**If I had to pinpoint one reason why guys who come to this stuff have trouble
getting results, its what is outlined in this post. Girls are used to sex
going down in a certain way. Walking up to girls and overtly trying to pick
them up goes against what they're used to. It's a violation of social norms.
Girls will tolerate it as cute, and they'll be interested to see what you'll
do. But they'll rarely sleep with you (unless they are at a certain point in
their lives where they are open to the idea, which I'll post about below in
terms of "f*ck rationalizations" - and this does happen often, which accounts
for alot of the success that we see with other styles of approaches). Guys go
in trying to convince the girl, when they should be BAITING the girl into
convincing THEM. As a result, most of the bold moves that guys who come to the
scene attempt, wind up not yielding any results.
So back on female psychology then, why do girls like *actual* hard to get guys?
Girls naturally enjoy having their buying temperature pumped up high. So if
they can get those emotions out of an interaction, without worrying that the
guy will exploit her suggestible state and have sex with her, then she can just
get all emotionally aroused around him, and enjoy it. Of course what happens
from there is that she backwards rationalizes it, and then convinces herself
that she legitimately wants the guy. From there, she decides that she's going
to get the guy, and starts chasing him in a manner as unsophisticated and
blatantly obvious as how a pissed drunk AFC would chase a girl that he wants at
a party. She'll kino him, giggle and scream around him, compliment him, signal
her friends to help her, and try to isolate him.
Notice, as this post goes on, that this last paragraph explains why just
getting a girls' buying temperature up high is not good enough, and that she
actually has to chase. It's because of the backwards rationalization process,
and the sexual hook point that she crosses over as a result. The S/C switch
(screen/chase) gets flipped.
There are also issues of validation at work. Notice that if you tell a girl "I
hate you", she starts touching you immediately, and begs to know why. Notice
that if you engage the whole set, but actively ignore the choice girl, she'll
start trying to get you to talk to her. This is all validation. It's more
validating for the often insecure hot girls, to sleep with a guy who will
reinforce that she is beautiful.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLAYING HARD TO GET - BEING A CHALLENGE - BEING THE PRIZE
I talked about posting some more advanced material for guys who are interested.
Here is a first helping. If you're not interested in dense material, read
something else.
This is one of the most important posts I've written in some time, and it will
likely go misunderstood given that most guys will not have the field experience
to appreciate it. It is the most important thread I've posted in six months.
For guys who can gain attraction very consistently, but still have trouble
getting laid: read this post until you have it down.
A few things to keep in mind, I want to throw out here:
-Buying Temperature Spikes
-S/C Switch (Screening vs Chasing switch)
-Social hook point and sexual hook point
-Female psychology (autopilot responses, socially conditioned buying
temperature regulation, value responses, choice making f*ck rationalizations)
-Bodylanguage subcommunication of hard-to-getness (the idea of not saying
you're hard to get, but communicating it with your bodylanguage)
***This post is directed towards girls who you ascertain are attracted to
challenging guys. Not all girls are like this, but many hot girls are. Again,
many aren't. For guys use or advocate other styles which don't make use of
this sort of stuff, the reason that they are getting laid is that they using
other means of getting laid. There is more than one style. This post is
something that is useful for guys in my context, and if you're using a totally
different style than me, then this stuff may be useless to you.
SOME ROUGH THOUGHTS ON FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY:
Many of the hottest girls are extremely responsive to hard to get guys. Anyone
in field has experienced the scenario where he plays hard to get and having the
girl chase, but as soon as he shows interest he is blown out. This can happen
even as late as the bedroom. Like, you'll have a girl chasing you all night,
isolate you back home, but because you make the first move, she locks up and
the pickup is over.
There are several reasons behind this, and in any given situation one or all of these reasons may have caused the lockup:
Firstly, you have autopilot responses. Think to the last time that you walked
down the street, and a vagrant asked you for change. Perhaps you said "no",
and kept walking. You don't consider it a lie. It's just an autopilot
response to a social situation. Girls are the same with the LJGD ("let's just
go dance") or "let's go to the bathroom", when their buying temperature goes
down and their logical social conditioning kicks in and says "This guy is
trying to sleep with us. He may be attractive, but who cares, I'm not meeting
a guy at a club. I'm leaving this situation to go dance, because that's why I
came to the club in the first place."
Notice also, how in all of the times that you've told a vagrant "no" when you
were asked for spare change, there were those few times when someone asked you
for help, and you said "no" out of habit, when in fact as you walked off you
might have thought to yourself "Sh*t, maybe that guys' car really did break
down. He didn't look like a vagrant. I wonder if I was a d*ck to him?"
The same goes for girls. They'll screen guys out as an auto-pilot response,
and later wonder if they made a mistake (but they don't care, because another
guy will come along in two seconds anyway). Attraction and how alpha or how
sexual you are is not a factor here. Even very attractive guys get screened
out for no logical reason. This is purely an autopilot response that you have
to recognize and dodge. That is why we use opening tactics - they open
consistently.
Likewise, girls will leave a set as their buying temperature increases too
fast, as an autopilot response. They think "I don't know this guy. This guy
knows what he's doing, and probably does it to all the girls. I'm getting out
of here." This is why we use fractionation tactics, so as to avoid her
disengaging you. Note also, that typical C&F push/pull is NOT a fractionation
tactic. C&F and the like is not indirect, even if you are flirting around that
you are hard to get. Girls know that if you're taking the time to engage them,
even in a C&F hard to get flirtish type way, that it is not the case that you
are *legitimately* hard to get. This is in the same way that when a girl comes
up to me and says that my shirt is stupid - I know that she wants me. There is
no difference. C&F is simply a *competent* way of flirting, that says a
million and one great things about you. It's still (arguably, depending on
semantics) a direct approach in some ways. It's just a direct approach that
girls like, because it still shows that you are willing to walk away - you're
interested, but you can take it or leave it. So that said, you can see how
"You're my new girlfriend.. No wait, you don't have x-whatever? We're broken
up." is not a fractionation technique. It's highly competent flirting, but its
not *actually* conveying that you don't want her in a way where she really
believes it.
**If I had to pinpoint one reason why guys who come to this stuff have trouble
getting results, its what is outlined in this post. Girls are used to sex
going down in a certain way. Walking up to girls and overtly trying to pick
them up goes against what they're used to. It's a violation of social norms.
Girls will tolerate it as cute, and they'll be interested to see what you'll
do. But they'll rarely sleep with you (unless they are at a certain point in
their lives where they are open to the idea, which I'll post about below in
terms of "f*ck rationalizations" - and this does happen often, which accounts
for alot of the success that we see with other styles of approaches). Guys go
in trying to convince the girl, when they should be BAITING the girl into
convincing THEM. As a result, most of the bold moves that guys who come to the
scene attempt, wind up not yielding any results.
So back on female psychology then, why do girls like *actual* hard to get guys?
Girls naturally enjoy having their buying temperature pumped up high. So if
they can get those emotions out of an interaction, without worrying that the
guy will exploit her suggestible state and have sex with her, then she can just
get all emotionally aroused around him, and enjoy it. Of course what happens
from there is that she backwards rationalizes it, and then convinces herself
that she legitimately wants the guy. From there, she decides that she's going
to get the guy, and starts chasing him in a manner as unsophisticated and
blatantly obvious as how a pissed drunk AFC would chase a girl that he wants at
a party. She'll kino him, giggle and scream around him, compliment him, signal
her friends to help her, and try to isolate him.
Notice, as this post goes on, that this last paragraph explains why just
getting a girls' buying temperature up high is not good enough, and that she
actually has to chase. It's because of the backwards rationalization process,
and the sexual hook point that she crosses over as a result. The S/C switch
(screen/chase) gets flipped.
There are also issues of validation at work. Notice that if you tell a girl "I
hate you", she starts touching you immediately, and begs to know why. Notice
that if you engage the whole set, but actively ignore the choice girl, she'll
start trying to get you to talk to her. This is all validation. It's more
validating for the often insecure hot girls, to sleep with a guy who will
reinforce that she is beautiful.