Break up reply (Funny)

[Tomatoes]

Funny email i received recently.Apparentlly this has been going round NY at the moment. 1st is a girls apology to her boyfriend for cheating on him. 2nd is his reply that he bcc'd to his entire address book. He makes some excellent points!


Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worset person ever. First, let me start by saying that i am truly truly sorry, and i hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I wont even try other than to say all of us had WAY to much to drink, and i did a stupid thing.

I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I cant handle is thinking that you see me as a diffrent person. It is wierd, The world looked funny yesterday. I couldnt crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I cant listern to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I dont know if you meant everything you said to me, and im hoping you didnt. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but i am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds tottally crazy and stupid but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I cant imagine my days without you. Its is tottally strange and wierd to say that, and you could say my behavior didnt reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hte me, and I hate feeling like all your friends think im a terrible person, because im not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but i just want you to know that fighting with you was bout the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and i would give santhing in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks you wont. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also thanks for getting my stuff together, although i think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I cant even focus on work today, I cant eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please dont cut me off, I really dont think I can handle that.

I am so sorry

Elizabeth




Dear Elizabeth


Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "long-winded diatribes from drunken *****s I couldnt care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is a "stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a white wash is a "stpuid thing: Blowing some guy in the bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you are taking so long because you ate to much bran that morning isnt as much a "stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

TO be honest, Im not sure if it was more amusing that you degraded yourself in a public toilet not once byt twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didnt f**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldnt care less if your world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, prada bags and Jelly beans, Im sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends dont think you are a terrible person, they think your're the average run of the mill ***-guzzling blonde who commands as much respect as your average child porn collector.

I could be wrong but, its pretty hard to respect some B&T chickwho comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New Jersey and wunds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up withfor a hand job in the mens room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad that finger blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in clasee you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate.

Thought you might like to know.

PS. I bcc'd this to most my address book.

Talk to you never
Brad

 

[Morphiex]

hahahaha

 

[redbyte]

Really rough. I wouldn't do it.
BUT
That chick sure will have learnt a valuable lesson

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

that....was....awesome

 

[st_99]

Great stuff, well written. A+

I love how she's worried about her sunglasses..lol

 

[Keeper]

rofl

 

[khash]

Brad, I wouldnt write such a lengthy letter, shows u really did care.

I would simply write: " Who editted that for you? I need his/her services for the future. Ciao "

this would KILL her.

 

[MotoXXX]

That was some good sh!t man. well written. my hat is taken off for that.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Wow.

Absolutely incredible.

 

[( . )( . )]

An AFC reply, a CLEVER AFC reply but an AFC reply nevertheless.

Shes obviously a young chick and to be putting down your average run of the mill chick for blowing some douche in the bathroom is ridiculous.

Chicks are emo creatures, will his clever barrage stop her from acting on impulse and justifying it later? Hell no, it will just make her ASD that bit tougher to crack the next time I or any of you get the b!tch to suck our d!cks. ie: an extra 5 minutes of Collin Farrels hair.

 

[syemour]

An AFC reply, a CLEVER AFC reply but an AFC reply nevertheless.

Shes obviously a young chick and to be putting down your average run of the mill chick for blowing some douche in the bathroom is ridiculous.

Chicks are emo creatures, will his clever barrage stop her from acting on impulse and justifying it later? Hell no, it will just make her ASD that bit tougher to crack the next time I or any of you get the b!tch to suck our d!cks. ie: an extra 5 minutes of Collin Farrels hair.

I, as well as others I'm sure, would appreciate an example of a letter that would not be so "Afc".

 

[( . )( . )]

I, as well as others I'm sure, would appreciate an example of a letter that would not be so "Afc".

No problems.

"Yeah sure babe dont sweat it, these things happen".

Then proceed to GFTOW, see the difference?
And have a guess which one is more damaging to her and better for you in the long run? Shes going to hear from hundreds of chumps shes burnt rip on her about her "weight" etc whatever over her lifetime, how many men will she meet that have a "whatever, no hard feelings" attitude?

 

[Jariel]

"Yeah sure babe dont sweat it, these things happen".

Then proceed to GFTOW, see the difference?
And have a guess which one is more damaging to her and better for you in the long run? Shes going to hear from hundreds of chumps shes burnt rip on her about her "weight" etc whatever over her lifetime, how many men will she meet that have a "whatever, no hard feelings" attitude?

It's rare that I agree with Titman, but I can't think of a more perfect response.

I might even add something like "there's someone else I've had my eye on for a while, so it's probably for the best. No hard feelings."

 

[V-Don]

Ha Ha Ha Haha Ha Ha

 

[The_Lifter]

I thought it was pretty funny, especially the last line. There were points where it became AFCish e.g "Blowing some guy in the bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you are taking so long because you ate to much bran that morning "

 

[syemour]

No problems.

"Yeah sure babe dont sweat it, these things happen".

Then proceed to GFTOW, see the difference?
And have a guess which one is more damaging to her and better for you in the long run? Shes going to hear from hundreds of chumps shes burnt rip on her about her "weight" etc whatever over her lifetime, how many men will she meet that have a "whatever, no hard feelings" attitude?

Now I see. Thank You Sir.

 

[typical]

I like the 1 liner, short and too the point, if she got that it would be like "wtf isn't he mad ???"

 

[Tomatoes]

Tbh....I think he does sound like he liked her. Who cares thow. He made some killer points. Plus this has now been passed round the net like a chineese rash. I think he ripped the piss out of her perfectly to be fair..

Good on him :woo:

 

[DJDamage]

"Yeah sure babe dont sweat it, these things happen".

Good response. Indiffrence is always the key here, never show emotions especially when they hurt you.

 

[Tomatoes]

Good response. Indiffrence is always the key here, never show emotions especially when they hurt you.

Nah. Because she would see that as him forgiving her. Then she would keep pestering you until you DID show emotion or attitude. I prefer the :moon: approach. Sounds like she liked him so emotion has already been shown.