Break up - Calling in the troops

[darksprezzatura]

Facts:
- Old plate HB 7 from 5 years ago comes back in the picture
- We hookup for 6 months, she pushes for exclusivity
- We get into a relationship for a month
- I notice a few red flags
- I initiate a breakup and tell her why initially she’s adjusting and tries to compromise but soon things turn toxic (mostly at my end) due to ego clashes
- She turns cold and stop responding, takes down her social media
- I get concerned, apologize and appreciate her from my heart while also letting her go, wishing her well.
- She accepts it, and also lets me go
- She reaches out telling me how hard it is
- She tells me how it’s tough for her to sleep and have things hit her everyday in the morning
- She asks for space, I agree and wish her well
- I removed her contact and went NC
- Part of me wants her back but part of me also knows it’s better to move on; if she indeed wants me she will reach out, if she doesn’t I would have moved on

Green Flags:
- Competitive Athlete in the past
- Fit
- Travelled hours to meet me every week
- Took leaves from work to meet
- Went on an outstation trip with me booked tickets
- Had atleast 5-10 first times with me, with new adventures
- Wrote me a love letter
- Open to adventure
- Has a life of her own, has a decent job
- Well educated
- Open to new experiences in bed
- We share the same sense of wicked humor

Red Flags:
- Flakey
- Never had a long term relationship
- Comes from an extremely strict family
- Calling/Meeting her is tough due to work family restrictions and living far. Met once in 10 days.
- Says she has been raped by an ex in the past (says he came in her without permission)
- Weirdly enough she suggests me to go raw in her on the first few dates
- During sex she asks me to kum inside her every time tho I have it wrapped
- Not a lot of female friends, mostly guy friends
- Knee injury, can’t do heavy sports with me
- Can’t ever live in or go out for late nights
- Though I have my own trust issues, I felt suspicious about things with her, being online late etc.
- Average sex

Conclusion:
- Ending things on a good note
- The chemistry I feel for her feels irreplaceable but isn’t as we all know
- Some red flags could be dealbreakers
- This wouldn’t have worked out
- Working out, getting therapy, eating low carb
- Moving on in my life, talking to new girls
- Getting back in the game

Id like getting some feedback guys. Thanks

 

[Dr.Suave]

Yeah, sounds like its time to move on. Block her from everywhere.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Facts:
- Old plate HB 7 from 5 years ago comes back in the picture
- We hookup for 6 months, she pushes for exclusivity
- We get into a relationship for a month
- I notice a few red flags
- I initiate a breakup and tell her why initially she’s adjusting and tries to compromise but soon things turn toxic (mostly at my end) due to ego clashes
- She turns cold and stop responding, takes down her social media
- I get concerned, apologize and appreciate her from my heart while also letting her go, wishing her well.
- She accepts it, and also lets me go
- She reaches out telling me how hard it is
- She tells me how it’s tough for her to sleep and have things hit her everyday in the morning
- She asks for space, I agree and wish her well
- I removed her contact and went NC
- Part of me wants her back but part of me also knows it’s better to move on; if she indeed wants me she will reach out, if she doesn’t I would have moved on

Green Flags:
- Competitive Athlete in the past
- Fit
- Travelled hours to meet me every week
- Took leaves from work to meet
- Went on an outstation trip with me booked tickets
- Had atleast 5-10 first times with me, with new adventures
- Wrote me a love letter
- Open to adventure
- Has a life of her own, has a decent job
- Well educated
- Open to new experiences in bed
- We share the same sense of wicked humor

Red Flags:
- Flakey
- Never had a long term relationship
- Comes from an extremely strict family
- Calling/Meeting her is tough due to work family restrictions and living far. Met once in 10 days.
- Says she has been raped by an ex in the past (says he came in her without permission)
- Weirdly enough she suggests me to go raw in her on the first few dates
- During sex she asks me to kum inside her every time tho I have it wrapped
- Not a lot of female friends, mostly guy friends
- Knee injury, can’t do heavy sports with me
- Can’t ever live in or go out for late nights
- Though I have my own trust issues, I felt suspicious about things with her, being online late etc.
- Average sex

Conclusion:
- Ending things on a good note
- The chemistry I feel for her feels irreplaceable but isn’t as we all know
- Some red flags could be dealbreakers
- This wouldn’t have worked out
- Working out, getting therapy, eating low carb
- Moving on in my life, talking to new girls
- Getting back in the game

Id like getting some feedback guys. Thanks

It may not be irreplaceable but it may be very difficult to find...I screwed up a relationship with an ex who I still believe was the one for me...never have met anyone that I felt so right with in every way...it was literally like our entire beings jumped for joy anytime we were near each other, it was like the craziest thing I have ever known. She once texted me after I left her house one night that she didn't know what I did to her but she wanted to bottle up whatever she felt when she was near me and keep it for when I wasn't there so she could feel that...

Been almost four years and after dating and banging lots of other women starting to wonder if I ever will find that again. It honestly kinda sucks because now that you know everything a relationship can be with someone else it's very hard to accept one that is less than that, which is pretty much everyone...there seems to be always something missing...either they aren't as good looking...the sex isn't as good...we don't have the same vibe together...we don't share the same interests, etc...I stopped and have thought about it maybe I am idealizing what we had but honestly I don't think I am. It was the pinnacle of what a relationship could be in my eyes and has really made things difficult for me in terms of finding a new one.


Everything was amazing...she was good looking, in shape, amazing ass, nice body,sex was off the charts great, we shared tons of common interests, we went on road trips, did things together, cooked together and snuggled up and watched movies on the couch after...I could easily have seen myself with her for the rest of my life...and I fvcked it all up. Still think about it from time to time...guess it makes it all the worse when you know it's your own fault.

 

[RangerMIke]

LDR are always hard I never try pulling something like that off. In my experience, the ONLY way these can last any significant length of time is if the man has to bust his butt and spend a lot of cash to keep things going. This always puts you at an emotional disadvantage. Why? Because the harder you try to keep things going, the more committed to making it work. What this does is causes you to ignore red flags and make excuses (i.e. she's flaky because of distance).

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Is she a heavy drinker?
Any mind-altering chemical use? (includes anti-depressants)
Age?

 

[Gamisch]

soon things turn toxic (mostly at my end) due to ego clashes

Can you elaborate on this please?

Imo that's a freaking long list of red flags. Even if the list of green flags would be twice as long, it wouldn't matter anymore. Lost case. Writing about it is a great way to actually clear your mind tho.

It may not be irreplaceable but it may be very difficult to find...I screwed up a relationship with an ex who I still believe was the one for me...never have met anyone that I felt so right with in every way...it was literally like our entire beings jumped for joy anytime we were near each other, it was like the craziest thing I have ever known. She once texted me after I left her house one night that she didn't know what I did to her but she wanted to bottle up whatever she felt when she was near me and keep it for when I wasn't there so she could feel that...

Been almost four years and after dating and banging lots of other women starting to wonder if I ever will find that again. It honestly kinda sucks because now that you know everything a relationship can be with someone else it's very hard to accept one that is less than that, which is pretty much everyone...there seems to be always something missing...either they aren't as good looking...the sex isn't as good...we don't have the same vibe together...we don't share the same interests, etc...I stopped and have thought about it maybe I am idealizing what we had but honestly I don't think I am. It was the pinnacle of what a relationship could be in my eyes and has really made things difficult for me in terms of finding a new one.


Everything was amazing...she was good looking, in shape, amazing ass, nice body,sex was off the charts great, we shared tons of common interests, we went on road trips, did things together, cooked together and snuggled up and watched movies on the couch after...I could easily have seen myself with her for the rest of my life...and I fvcked it all up. Still think about it from time to time...guess it makes it all the worse when you know it's your own fault.

Kinda surprised to hear this from you. Dont we all have (a few) " the one that got away's". I geuss you just learned from this and will do better in the future.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Is she a heavy drinker?
Any mind-altering chemical use? (includes anti-depressants)
Age?

No she doesn’t include too much in anything. Very controlled

 

[darksprezzatura]

soon things turn toxic (mostly at my end) due to ego clashes

Can you elaborate on this please?

Imo that's a freaking long list of red flags. Even if the list of green flags would be twice as long, it wouldn't matter anymore. Lost case. Writing about it is a great way to actually clear your mind tho.

Kinda surprised to hear this from you. Dont we all have (a few) " the one that got away's". I geuss you just learned from this and will do better in the future.

Basically I asked her to take down pics of a few of her ex/past dates because I didn’t want to look at them. It came from a place of disrespect than insecurity. But I understand that it was controlling. I’ve learnt my lesson but the damage is done. I used to breakup and patch up often, the push pull ****ed her head up

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Drop her like a bad habit, brother.
Keep moving and dont look back like if your neck was broken
Your peace of mind is at stake here.
Too many red flags this female including the mostly guy friends (she has no problem engaging in flirting with other men and getting their attention), thats a big no no for me. discarded for LTR material by law.
She is damaged goods. Walk away and in two weeks tops she already would have monkey branched and be with another dude.
You will not even know what hit you.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

No she doesn’t include too much in anything. Very controlled

Age?

 

[darksprezzatura]

Age?

25

 

[darksprezzatura]

Drop her like a bad habit, brother.
Keep moving and dont look back like if your neck was broken
Your peace of mind is at stake here.
Too many red flags this female including the mostly guy friends (she has no problem engaging in flirting with other men and getting their attention), thats a big no no for me. discarded for LTR material by law.
She is damaged goods. Walk away and in two weeks tops she already would have monkey branched and be with another dude.
You will not even know what hit you.

Thanks man. I know what you mean. Do you think I should give her an ultimatum question and block her if it’s not favorable?

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Dont we all have (a few) " the one that got away's". I geuss you just learned from this and will do better in the future.

This happens to everyone. The vibe you have with various women will always be different, you’ll never find the same thing twice when it comes to this. Different doesn’t mean better or worse, just different. There’s always someone new out there who you can vibe with, it won’t be the same but it will be equally goof or better.

 

[darksprezzatura]

This happens to everyone. The vibe you have with various women will always be different, you’ll never find the same thing twice when it comes to this. Different doesn’t mean better or worse, just different. There’s always someone new out there who you can vibe with, it won’t be the same but it will be equally goof or better.

Amen

 

[The Duke]

@darksprezzatura what are you looking for as far as a relationship goes? Something serious and committed? Where does she stack up against other girls? I gather from reading your previous posts that you have been with enough girls to make a solid comparison. Top 5%?
It's always hard to see the good ones go, but there can always be more. If you are the type that likes the thrill of the hunt then let her go.

 

[darksprezzatura]

@darksprezzatura what are you looking for as far as a relationship goes? Something serious and committed? Where does she stack up against other girls? I gather from reading your previous posts that you have been with enough girls to make a solid comparison. Top 5%?
It's always hard to see the good ones go, but there can always be more. If you are the type that likes the thrill of the hunt then let her go.

In a relationship I’m looking for growth. Committed in terms of exclusivity sure; it’s game on hard mode.

As a previous poster said, each chemistry is different, neither can be compared. This does seem like oneitis of sorts so I’m open to moving on from her as well, as it’s not healthy. I know the drill to move on nonetheless. But I want to give things another shot to see if we can both come to a good compromise on how to proceed.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The part about “rape” via impermissible ejaculation combined with asking you to go in raw is not a red flag…it’s fvcking stadium-sized banner! Eject before you become eligible for three meals a day and a six by nine studio apartment courtesy of Uncle Sam.

 

[darksprezzatura]

The part about “rape” via impermissible ejaculation combined with asking you to go in raw is not a red flag…it’s fvcking stadium-sized banner! Eject before you become eligible for three meals a day and a six by nine studio apartment courtesy of Uncle Sam.

Yeah that was a huge thing. She didn’t file charges against that guy as far as I know.

I’m glad you zoned in on the exact issue which I considered the biggest red flag and imo a dealbreaker.

But just for curiosity’s sake, why do you think it’s a huge red flag? It’s not like she’s gonna put me in harms way. No way. It’s a dealbreaker for me cuz her unhealed trauma would keep acting up through the life of our relationship

 

[2Rocky]

sunk-cost fallacy

noun

1. the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.
   "the sunk-cost fallacy creeps into a lot of major financial decisions"
   

You need to let the emotional sunk costs go. A woman should make your **** hard, not your life.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Move on. Find someone better.