"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Break free!

Al Moh.

Senior Don Juan
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Break Free

In our western society freedom is not so much a question of not having to obey the law but of freeing ourselves from social expectations and moral codes that were set up by others.

On the other hand we have to understand that these things aren’t necessarily bad: Just because someone tells you not to kill or rape doesn’t mean it’s bad because it was forced upon you. Freedom is about thinking for yourself and understanding why those morals were set up and if they have any value to you.

What I am talking about it freedom from fear, freedom from other people’s expectations and freedom from our own routines. It’s breaking free what sets us apart and enables us to learn about ourselves.

Yet, it’s risking this very freedom we gained that turns us into men.

The dreaded Nice Guy isn’t free because he does what other people tell him to do. Now he frees himself. He starts to learn about nature and life and he is really happy for the first time. He is like a colourful bird flying around.

Yet it’s not just this freedom that turns us into men. We have to risk this freedom. Who is this guy who lives on a mountain, not being in contact with anyone, not being in danger, just sitting there and thinking about life? Is he a man or rather a philosopher who thinks himself so smart but knows nothing about life because he didn’t experience it?

If I don’t let anything affect me, then I am free. But this is not what life is about. No, I have to go out and get into contact with other people. I have to invest some emotional attachment and trust into others. I am risking being hurt but yet it’s in combat that we really grow.

I hear people saying: No morals for me, for they are eliminating some of my options! Yet the morals me create for ourselves and live by define what we will be.

I hear people saying: Why shouldn’t I cheat or lie or walk over people, I can do whatever I want to do! Indeed. But people are going to treat you just the same.

Is that an argument?

Do YOU think it’s an argument? If you do something you will face consequences. Being free is about knowing those consequences. Being free to really think about them and know them.

And then you are going to make a decision. Or do you want to be some cold hearted guy, not being affected by life? If you aren’t affected and altered by life, then you are not living it!

Risk! Why not put some emotional attachment into your relationship? Love is not a weakness but rather something that makes us grow. Yes, you are going to get hurt but that’s what happens to warriors. It doesn’t happen to the guy sitting in his cave sleeping all day.

People often think that something is right or wrong but they don’t realize someone just told them so. You have to free yourself from what other people think and find out what YOU want and what YOU really believe. Based on that you will create your morals, which may be quiet like the ones society gave you or not.

And loving someone is being able to surrender some of your freedom and risk being hurt.

Image some soldier not wanting to fight an opponent because: “I might get hurt!”

Certainly…
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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goodfoot

Senior Don Juan
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Jul 14, 2007
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I've been thinking along this line lately, and I could not have put it in better words. Good post.
 
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