"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Break free!

Al Moh.

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Break Free

In our western society freedom is not so much a question of not having to obey the law but of freeing ourselves from social expectations and moral codes that were set up by others.

On the other hand we have to understand that these things aren’t necessarily bad: Just because someone tells you not to kill or rape doesn’t mean it’s bad because it was forced upon you. Freedom is about thinking for yourself and understanding why those morals were set up and if they have any value to you.

What I am talking about it freedom from fear, freedom from other people’s expectations and freedom from our own routines. It’s breaking free what sets us apart and enables us to learn about ourselves.

Yet, it’s risking this very freedom we gained that turns us into men.

The dreaded Nice Guy isn’t free because he does what other people tell him to do. Now he frees himself. He starts to learn about nature and life and he is really happy for the first time. He is like a colourful bird flying around.

Yet it’s not just this freedom that turns us into men. We have to risk this freedom. Who is this guy who lives on a mountain, not being in contact with anyone, not being in danger, just sitting there and thinking about life? Is he a man or rather a philosopher who thinks himself so smart but knows nothing about life because he didn’t experience it?

If I don’t let anything affect me, then I am free. But this is not what life is about. No, I have to go out and get into contact with other people. I have to invest some emotional attachment and trust into others. I am risking being hurt but yet it’s in combat that we really grow.

I hear people saying: No morals for me, for they are eliminating some of my options! Yet the morals me create for ourselves and live by define what we will be.

I hear people saying: Why shouldn’t I cheat or lie or walk over people, I can do whatever I want to do! Indeed. But people are going to treat you just the same.

Is that an argument?

Do YOU think it’s an argument? If you do something you will face consequences. Being free is about knowing those consequences. Being free to really think about them and know them.

And then you are going to make a decision. Or do you want to be some cold hearted guy, not being affected by life? If you aren’t affected and altered by life, then you are not living it!

Risk! Why not put some emotional attachment into your relationship? Love is not a weakness but rather something that makes us grow. Yes, you are going to get hurt but that’s what happens to warriors. It doesn’t happen to the guy sitting in his cave sleeping all day.

People often think that something is right or wrong but they don’t realize someone just told them so. You have to free yourself from what other people think and find out what YOU want and what YOU really believe. Based on that you will create your morals, which may be quiet like the ones society gave you or not.

And loving someone is being able to surrender some of your freedom and risk being hurt.

Image some soldier not wanting to fight an opponent because: “I might get hurt!”

Certainly…
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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goodfoot

Senior Don Juan
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I've been thinking along this line lately, and I could not have put it in better words. Good post.
 
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