MacAvoy said:
Ok guru, we know how you control your employees who you pay to keep around, but how do you control your plates?
Sorry, was distracted earlier. I had a fly buzzing in my ear.
Latinoman, good post.
Foremost, being a MAN OF INTEGRITY.
I define INTEGRITY as RULES which defines your CHARACTER. Naturally everyone's idea of INTEGRITY is different.
We discuss INTERNAL BOUNDARIES here alot. A MAN OF HIGH CHARACTER has STRONG INTERNAL BOUNDARIES. Naturally your PLATE should follow your sense of INTEGRITY and respect your STRONG INTERNAL BOUNDARIES.
If a plate does not respect my BOUNDARIES, I walk away. In my eyes, the relationship is over. Once respect is lost, there is no need to go further.
No matter how ridiculous my BOUNDARY may appear (ie: you are not to go to CENTRAL PARK), I EXPECT total RESPECT and COOPERATION to what I ask. No room for negotiation. No grey area either. Clearly black and white.
This is said over and over. This is key. The POWER lies in the ability to walk away. I do not tolerate the blatant disrespect of crossing my BOUNDARIES.
I DO NOT COMPROMISE MY INTEGRITY.
Back to the question. How do I CONTROL (politically incorrect, and?) my plates?
"Hey Plate, just want to go over a few things. Some say I am difficult because I ask alot of people. I am definitely not easy. No matter how silly or ridiculous this might seem, this is what I expect of you " Your Rules". "
This is the beginning. You will be tested over and over again. She wants to feel how REAL you are. ARE YOU WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE? Are you willing to throw the whole relationship away based on her blatant disregard for your rules. Will you compromise your integrity? Will you walk away?
I am tested almost on a weekly basis in the beginning. The tests are fewer and further between with time. No matter how long or where you are in the relationship, the plate must know the consequence is losing you. Always be prepared to walk away. Protect your heart and remember only thing in life that is guaranteed is death and taxes.
BTW this is why I stress HIGH IL plates from the beginning. LOW IL plates could care less if you come or go.