She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Nah its but one sign of many.Obsidian said:If a girl is clingy early on, is that necessarily BPD?
It's one sign but you need other signs to fully point her as BPD.Obsidian said:If a girl is clingy early on, is that necessarily BPD?
^^^DaddyLongShanks said:If you are going to mess with her, I'd minimize my interactions, even go days without speaking at times. Make someone else your primary focus.
Aye, as I say I'm well aware of the risks. I belive these girls are "managable" as long as you have a good mindset and just enjoy the sex. A lot of people just can't get over the playing field when it comes to them. I'm taking a different approach, nothing to lose Imo.HeadLightsOn said:^^^
I SO agree with this. OP you have posted some good stuff in the past and I dont quite believe an earlier post that you are a 'hoovered beta.' HOWEVER if you get oneitis even a fraction - bolt out of there. Yes I know you know. The sex with these sociopaths is incredible, but I like being alive inside, not dead...
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
And thats exactly what Ive found in the past. Its quite a tricky call with BPD, doing some NC, VS IL from her. Still all I can say here is - go bang the *****...Infern0 said:Aye, as I say I'm well aware of the risks. I belive these girls are "managable" as long as you have a good mindset and just enjoy the sex. A lot of people just can't get over the playing field when it comes to them. I'm taking a different approach, nothing to lose Imo.
I'll be rationing her though, tbh that's probably where it'll fall over as she'll soon get demanding of my time and when she realizes that she ain't top priority she'll go find a beta boy to be her therapist.
That's what they generally do. If she senses a drop in interest on your part, or feels like you're not paying enough attention to her, she'll hook up with another dude (probably an ex) who will. Remember these creatures HATE being alone. They need constant attention. So best to stay detached. That way if she tells you there's someone else, which she won't do until she's got him locked down, you won't be surprised or even care. Bang away but stay detached bro. Let her hoover you and get some sex out of it if that's what you're after.Infern0 said:Aye, as I say I'm well aware of the risks. I belive these girls are "managable" as long as you have a good mindset and just enjoy the sex. A lot of people just can't get over the playing field when it comes to them. I'm taking a different approach, nothing to lose Imo.
I'll be rationing her though, tbh that's probably where it'll fall over as she'll soon get demanding of my time and when she realizes that she ain't top priority she'll go find a beta boy to be her therapist.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Well he married one so he can't have been that smart can he and no offense to him we all make mistakes.Mauser96 said:Well, time will tell if it is all good.
One monthg ago she had you tied up in knots and here posting over and over how she fcked you up. I doubt her manipulation skills have diminished in a month and I am pretty sure your skills in handling the manipulation haven't advanced enough in a month to protect you/let you handle this.
The question I have is why would you even try?
Did you not read 5 String's thread.? The guy Was MARRIED to one - a diagnosed one who was being medicated for it - he was very aware, and more skilled at dealing with these types than probably anyone else here - NOW - he barely escaped with his life, violence and police were involved......................................why would you do it?
Why not just date other women?
Sounds like she already has. The virus of denial and wishful thinking.Infern0 said:She ain't going to brainwash me or infect me with some virus.
?
Infern0 said:Gents. If you aren't going after the big game, why be in the hunt.
I'll keep you up to date but seriously stop panicking.
There's no way this *** dumpster is "the one" but she's a damn good **** and I've plated her up.
I don't care who else she ****s, I'm going to wrap it up. She's a damn good lay and until I meet someone I'm going to be exclusive with I'm going to enjoy her skillset. She can have a couple of beta boys to be her therapists/manservents. I'm just going to **** her and have fun with her.
She ain't going to brainwash me or infect me with some virus. She's just a plate.
Is that all good?
^^^salinechow said:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2243926#post2243926
And at the risk of repeating myself Ill shout a little bit too. In bold.
"This is frighteningly accurate.
They build you up. Take up your interests. Do anything you ask and modify behavior, schedule, and anything else it takes to cling to you. Velcroing you to them as well. They are masters at making the dopimine in your brain run strong and deep. Then....
Once they know you are committed, they begin to change the tides of fortune. Slowly making demands and flying off the handle if you do not comply. Also, sometimes the demands are internal and you don't know they even exist. Things become your fault you have nothing to do with. Past traumas begin to be taken out on you. Confusion and heartache replace what once was joy. The sheep skin comes off and the wolf comes out.
Youll begin to fix and chase. Once in a while she will relent. Apologizing and behaving just enough to give you a drink in the desert. Keep you on the treadmill rewarding you with amazing sex. Then, because you took the "favor" now you owe her triple, with compounding interest. If you cant pay, you WILL pay in blood and tears.
The blow ups get bigger and crazier. The insults get harsher and the sarcasm deeper. Then, she will shut down completely. Now the chase is really on. Now you dont know what is happening at all. It was bad when she would get mad at you but her being completely indifferent to you meeting her every need like she trained you to do is even worse. You beg for her to communicate, but she says everything is fine. You pick fights now yourself, just to feel anything resembling the past and how it all started.
Then... you finally give up. You look behind you and take stock of all you have lost. You break apart and mourn. Then...here she comes again.
Just like old times. Sweet, begging, loving, saying and acting out all the right things. You feel your absence has finally gotten through to her. (By the way she slept with 2 other guys in the last 6 weeks, that part of why she was indifferent)
You go back. Everything is amazing. You tell everyone you know she has changed and she is the one for you. The dope flows again.
And then...it all starts AGAIN. The same cycle. Yet this time you are even more committed but also more exhausted then you have ever been. You have no frame at all left.
And then...It all repeats....AGAIN.
It is hell on earth.
IT. IS. TORTURE.
Does that help clear things up?
You have a crystal ball now my friend. You are welcome."
Why do I have a mental picture of your unknown lifeless head with xx for eyes, mounted on her wall over a pool table, like some unfortunate buck.![]()
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Anyone got a link to the BPD diagnosis thread?Kailex said:Every single time I've read one of these "I can deal with her BPD-ness" threads, it never ended well.
Heck, the Official BPD thread should be enough of a cautionary tale.
Even I went through this a few years ago and I had to undergo "dating detox" to get myself rid of that harpy.
Worst part is you believe you are in the driver's seat. You never really are.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=164551Lozboss said:Anyone got a link to the BPD diagnosis thread?