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BPD ex girlfriend

stovepipe

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Well you can consider yourself "high value" allow me to explain... I am speaking from experience here....A true BPD is out of reach for most men.A BPD chooses their targets very carefully,beta men or weak or "clingy" men will not even be considered or make the cut that is why most men will never experience a BPD.I heard a joke once that said the only way to get rid of a true BPD is too send her flowers or express your undying love for her only then will the BPD run for the hills and cancel all future hoovering attempts.BPD's simply can't stand needy men,or men of low value for that matter.A BPD's job (in their mind ) is too find a high value man and destroy him.
I disagree. Most BPD/Narcs like to go after weak, clingy beta males. Their whole world revolves around control. They know they can't control an a$$hole or an alpha with great success rate, but a clingy weak beta is prime meat for them. The real smart successful bpds with $$ or high value status will go after a man with high value. Those types of bpds are more rare due their entire circle being high value business/successful people.

While with the beta they will cheat on him with a stronger man who knows the bpd is a dirty wh0re. Even if the bf finds out they know he is less likely to leave them. Cause at that point he is so brainwashed he lost his self identity already. He becomes dependent on her even after being hurt, lied to and treated like sh!t time and time again. I do agree that bpd's do choose their target carefully. They are wolves hunting sheep. You dont choose them, they choose you.
 

Billtx49

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She called me last night. Then tried saying that she didn’t call me. Then started sending me pictures of her and the guy she’s with (who by the way is low value in my opinion). ****ing nuts
That combined with her claim of being knocked up by the new guy, she’s trying to use your own jealousy against you at this point. Got you in her crosshairs for some hurt in her way of thinking…
She’s still trying to take you down emotionally.
 
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Rapport101

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I disagree. Most BPD/Narcs like to go after weak, clingy beta males. Their whole world revolves around control. They know they can't control an a$$hole or an alpha with great success rate, but a clingy weak beta is prime meat for them. The real smart successful bpds with $$ or high value status will go after a man with high value. Those types of bpds are more rare due their entire circle being high value business/successful people.

While with the beta they will cheat on him with a stronger man who knows the bpd is a dirty wh0re. Even if the bf finds out they know he is less likely to leave them. Cause at that point he is so brainwashed he lost his self identity already. He becomes dependent on her even after being hurt, lied to and treated like sh!t time and time again. I do agree that bpd's do choose their target carefully. They are wolves hunting sheep. You dont choose them, they choose you.
She definitely chose me. I was in no means beta though. To be honest, I liked it and was using her for narcissistic supply. Never gave a damn about her until she caused me major injury by entering into a relationship with a weaker lower value male. That’s the real moment I started caring. Not saying that I’m a narcissist or anything. But I have a few characteristics, nothing worth a diagnosis though. Whereas she is diagnosed BPD.
 

stovepipe

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She definitely chose me. I was in no means beta though. To be honest, I liked it and was using her for narcissistic supply. Never gave a damn about her until she caused me major injury by entering into a relationship with a weaker lower value male. That’s the real moment I started caring. Not saying that I’m a narcissist or anything. But I have a few characteristics, nothing worth a diagnosis though. Whereas she is diagnosed BPD.
Beta, weak, someone who she knows she could break. It almost always starts out with one being strong, but after time they slowly chip away at you and eventually you will break. Took me 9 months and two abortions for me to give a sh!t about her, but eventually I became so brainwashed I lost my identity and she broke me down to my core. Some bpd's prefer emotionally unavailable men, while others like the opposite. Everyone's story is a little different, but the outcome is always the same.
 

051AV

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I disagree. Most BPD/Narcs like to go after weak, clingy beta males. Their whole world revolves around control. They know they can't control an a$$hole or an alpha with great success rate, but a clingy weak beta is prime meat for them. The real smart successful bpds with $$ or high value status will go after a man with high value. Those types of bpds are more rare due their entire circle being high value business/successful people.

While with the beta they will cheat on him with a stronger man who knows the bpd is a dirty wh0re. Even if the bf finds out they know he is less likely to leave them. Cause at that point he is so brainwashed he lost his self identity already. He becomes dependent on her even after being hurt, lied to and treated like sh!t time and time again. I do agree that bpd's do choose their target carefully. They are wolves hunting sheep. You dont choose them, they choose you.
My ex flat out told me she likes weak men I guess she thought I was one...... soon found out I wasn't the person she thought. She tried controlling me it didn't go over so well, it caused a lot of fights, her favorite thing to call me was a douche, I got the silent treatment quite a bit. My replacement, he's a beta male to the core, google beta male his picture will pop up, she's dumped him and currently single.
 

stovepipe

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My ex flat out told me she likes weak men I guess she thought I was one...... soon found out I wasn't the person she thought. She tried controlling me it didn't go over so well, it caused a lot of fights, her favorite thing to call me was a douche, I got the silent treatment quite a bit. My replacement, he's a beta male to the core, google beta male his picture will pop up, she's dumped him and currently single.
Most already have another weakling they've been grooming the entire time. Soon as those b!tches realize you can't be controlled or you start to uncover their mask, they drop you like a bag of trash on the side of the road and replace you with another in days.

The worst pain a bpd will go thru is when they get dumped during the honeymoon phase by a guy they were highly infatuated with. They are unable to feel love, its more deep infatuation. When they have no new supply in line, they go crazy. Feeling unworthy, loss of power, failure. Thats when the risky sleeping around stage happens. Sex to them is nothing, they hand it out like candy, it's their power, how they control.
 

Rapport101

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Most already have another weakling they've been grooming the entire time. Soon as those b!tches realize you can't be controlled or you start to uncover their mask, they drop you like a bag of trash on the side of the road and replace you with another in days.

The worst pain a bpd will go thru is when they get dumped during the honeymoon phase by a guy they were highly infatuated with. They are unable to feel love, its more deep infatuation. When they have no new supply in line, they go crazy. Feeling unworthy, loss of power, failure. Thats when the risky sleeping around stage happens. Sex to them is nothing, they hand it out like candy, it's their power, how they control.
I did dump her during the honeymoon phase. She went berserk.

But I kept hanging out with her because she was making me feel good. Somehow it was like we were back together again. The relationship escalated into a never ending psychological war. By the end, I felt like I’d lost my mind.

I know I like to hate on her because she is significantly more crazy than I am, and she betrayed me. But I know in her mind. I’m also bat****. I deliberately performed a lot of advanced manipulations on her.

I learned more about manipulation in that relationship than I could ever get from a book. I never want to be involved with that dynamic again. The chaos and drama were extreme. At the end I unmasked her. Disgusting pathological liar. Everything I thought I’d known about her wasn’t true.
 

Rapport101

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Beta, weak, someone who she knows she could break. It almost always starts out with one being strong, but after time they slowly chip away at you and eventually you will break. Took me 9 months and two abortions for me to give a sh!t about her, but eventually I became so brainwashed I lost my identity and she broke me down to my core. Some bpd's prefer emotionally unavailable men, while others like the opposite. Everyone's story is a little different, but the outcome is always the same.
Sounds familiar
 

Rapport101

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That combined with her claim of being knocked up by the new guy, she’s trying to use your own jealousy against you at this point. Got you in her crosshairs for some hurt in her way of thinking…
She’s still trying to take you down emotionally.
I agree with this. But she can never overcome my resilience. I have been through some things in my life that make a bpd psycho wrist cutting nut job look like a walk in the park.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Block her. You don't want a basketcase full of crazy in your life, and having her send you pics of her with her new man is f***ing ridiculous. Game over, move on.
 

Rapport101

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Block her. You don't want a basketcase full of crazy in your life, and having her send you pics of her with her new man is f***ing ridiculous. Game over, move on.
I did block her. She keeps contacting me from different numbers or email. I put a filter on it so it goes directly into the trash.
 

stovepipe

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I did block her. She keeps contacting me from different numbers or email. I put a filter on it so it goes directly into the trash.
Staying nc is truly the only way. But, if you do ever chat with her again, the best piece of advice against these demons is to NEVER show a reaction to their abuse, rude comments and blatant disrespect. Even if you curse them out they know they are still in control as any supply feeds their addiction. When you show no reaction or anger, they get pissed, they start to realize their games are not working no more. Deep down they are hurt as power is what makes them stay alive. No one to get supply from= their death
 

Billtx49

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I agree with this. But she can never overcome my resilience. I have been through some things in my life that make a bpd psycho wrist cutting nut job look like a walk in the park.
Just be aware that if she’s going at it this hard already and gets no results from you, she may inject and escalate her maladjusted game into other areas of your life…
 
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051AV

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Most already have another weakling they've been grooming the entire time. Soon as those b!tches realize you can't be controlled or you start to uncover their mask, they drop you like a bag of trash on the side of the road and replace you with another in days.

The worst pain a bpd will go thru is when they get dumped during the honeymoon phase by a guy they were highly infatuated with. They are unable to feel love, its more deep infatuation. When they have no new supply in line, they go crazy. Feeling unworthy, loss of power, failure. Thats when the risky sleeping around stage happens. Sex to them is nothing, they hand it out like candy, it's their power, how they control.
LOL, that's what happened with me she said she wanted space I didn't hear from her then she said she is going out with somebody new, her and I stayed friends because I was her supervisor at work. Our relationship was a power struggle right from the get go, I would give her the illusion she had control over me then I would yank it back. She is a total control freak she took control of everything at work until I put my foot down, she thought she was the boss of her co-workers. Her and I were still close friends I guess she figured she didn't have to hide her ugly side around me. She caused drama in my life, it progressively got more and more because she wasn't happy. I got tired of it and told her to fvck off were done as friends, who knew that would trigger something in her head I had to die, if she could legally kill me I think she would have. I went through 6 months of pure hell it wasn't fun going to work. The only good thing that came out of it, her ugly side got displayed for everybody to see, people around her realized how nuts she is. I lost my supervisor job, she kept her job, the smear campaign in full force. I'm in a better place in life, less stressful job, less expenses, life is good.
 

stovepipe

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LOL, that's what happened with me she said she wanted space I didn't hear from her then she said she is going out with somebody new, her and I stayed friends because I was her supervisor at work. Our relationship was a power struggle right from the get go, I would give her the illusion she had control over me then I would yank it back. She is a total control freak she took control of everything at work until I put my foot down, she thought she was the boss of her co-workers. Her and I were still close friends I guess she figured she didn't have to hide her ugly side around me. She caused drama in my life, it progressively got more and more because she wasn't happy. I got tired of it and told her to fvck off were done as friends, who knew that would trigger something in her head I had to die, if she could legally kill me I think she would have. I went through 6 months of pure hell it wasn't fun going to work. The only good thing that came out of it, her ugly side got displayed for everybody to see, people around her realized how nuts she is. I lost my supervisor job, she kept her job, the smear campaign in full force. I'm in a better place in life, less stressful job, less expenses, life is good.
She manipulated you to stay friends with her cause you had a superior role at the job place. She wasn't hiding her ugly side from you because you stuck around long enough she knows you're brainwashed/controlled. It's all about controlling their environment to best suite their needs/wants/desires with no care in the world for the damage it will cause another human.

Once you stand up for yourself, you no longer work like you're supposed to. Thats what we are to them, "objects". Their love is not real, they are not capable of it, its merely deep infatuation. So when a bpd/narc says "i love you" it's more like "I love how you put up with my sh!t, I love how hard you try to please me, I love how you make feel pretty, I love all the validation you give to show me im superior to you, I love how easy you are to control. They love you the same way they love a new cell phone or new purse.

Once the object (you) stops working (being controlled) or calls them out like you did to her, you become enemy 1#. To them it's a "how dare you call me out". Now they will do whatever to bad mouth you (smear campaign) to everyone, create lies, things that didn't happen all to destroy your reputation and make you look like the bad guy and them the victim. Everything is all preplanned in their head. I like to compare them like cancer. The bpd/narc is omitting radiation, being around them heals you, but the longer you stick around it will kill you.
 

051AV

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She manipulated you to stay friends with her cause you had a superior role at the job place. She wasn't hiding her ugly side from you because you stuck around long enough she knows you're brainwashed/controlled. It's all about controlling their environment to best suite their needs/wants/desires with no care in the world for the damage it will cause another human.

Once you stand up for yourself, you no longer work like you're supposed to. Thats what we are to them, "objects". Their love is not real, they are not capable of it, its merely deep infatuation. So when a bpd/narc says "i love you" it's more like "I love how you put up with my sh!t, I love how hard you try to please me, I love how you make feel pretty, I love all the validation you give to show me im superior to you, I love how easy you are to control. They love you the same way they love a new cell phone or new purse.

Once the object (you) stops working (being controlled) or calls them out like you did to her, you become enemy 1#. To them it's a "how dare you call me out". Now they will do whatever to bad mouth you (smear campaign) to everyone, create lies, things that didn't happen all to destroy your reputation and make you look like the bad guy and them the victim. Everything is all preplanned in their head. I like to compare them like cancer. The bpd/narc is omitting radiation, being around them heals you, but the longer you stick around it will kill you.
I had so much going on at work with poor mismanagement, I got stuff dumped on me that wasn't supposed to be in my job description, my new manager and I became good friends, the BPD ex hated that (jealousy). My life was chaos, more than I could handle it was getting really hard to keep things together, I was losing my patience and my temper. At the time I didn't know anything about BPD or what it was all I knew was my ex had mental health issues. The stories she told always put her in the victim role, her life was a mess, she has a path of destruction. She is manipulative alright she bragged about manipulating and using people I watched her do it, everything was for her and her only she is really self fish. She wanted to know everything I wouldn't tell her I would keep her in the dark, she is sneaky, digging up info, gathering evidence to use against me, trying to have something to hold over my head. Her and I had intense fights with her having emotional lash outs at me, it was like fighting with a child, she acted like one, she would go to another room to cry. Or we would have a fight over text, she would text so fast I couldn't get a word in edge wise.

The way I seen her treat my replacement was when I seen how sick she really is, I would almost consider it abusive, she used him, she "claimed to love him" I confronted her on it she would get so mad at me. She never got away with the BS with me like she did with my replacement, he stopped talking to me, she controlled his life he was her little puppet. The cancer analogy is a good one, my replacement's heath slowly declined, she almost killed him 6 months ago he had a jammer, four months later she dumped him like garbage, after being with him for 3.5 years. She's single again, heard she is seeing another employee in the corporation. She will have the opportunity to transfer back to the division of the corporation in my town in the next 2 months or so, I just hope she stays away from me.

If I was still around the ex as a friend I prolly would be dead, enough was enough, she kept causing drama in my life, picking fights with me, jealously when I approached other women at work, fvcking with my personal life. I know a lot about BPDs today, I know now she's a BPD, took me a long time to recover from what she put me through.
 

Rapport101

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I need to get back on the no contact wagon. This girl was trying to monkey branch back to me. I played like I was all down for it, even though I’m seeing like three other girls now. But I am acting like such a beta phag I can’t believe it. This isn’t me. I’ve never had Oneitis like this for many years. It’s driving me up the wall. She isn’t even great. There’s really nothing good about her. She texts me in the middle of the night to tell me how much she loves me. I started feeling excited, but stopped myself, because I know that what goes up must come down.

If I ignore her she finds ways to manipulate and torment me. Even if I block her she finds a way to get a message through. If I talk to her she just gets what she wants because I’m acting like a needy, validation seeking, weakling. There’s no way that I’m even attractive to her right now anyway cause I’m acting so afc. But that’s not me. I have goals, dreams, ambitions. I can’t see them right now though.

She isn’t good for me. I know that. Things will never be good between her and me. She’s using me for supply. I’m not getting anything in return. It’s so messed up. These other girls I see are more attractive, more successful, more ambitious. More like who I really am. The exbpd only lives in the moment. She is always a “victim”. She is a user. It’s a tough situation to get out of.

I need to run my ass out of here and heal though. I need to be the master of my emotions rather than a slave to them. I need to be free from this bs.
 

noBSgames

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Man my BPD ex was nuts just like this.. I let her see I moved on and I blocked her and her whole family.. so I had posted on this site and she decided she was going to post saying she was trying to get preg by her "new husband" now but when I was with her she ended up having a ovary removed due to a epptopic pregnancy.. she tried to find ways to blame me on that.. so for maybe 3-4 months after she got married she kept asking my friends if I found someone or how I'm I doing.. finally my friend told her off.. and she stopped checking to see my last log in time on the website.

I like how she told my friend the when she got married it was love... LOL you are so right it got so bad I don't think she cared if they saw how crazy she was acting like it was very bad.. the lies got so bad we all had a nice laugh about it.
 

051AV

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I need to get back on the no contact wagon. This girl was trying to monkey branch back to me. I played like I was all down for it, even though I’m seeing like three other girls now. But I am acting like such a beta phag I can’t believe it. This isn’t me. I’ve never had Oneitis like this for many years. It’s driving me up the wall. She isn’t even great. There’s really nothing good about her. She texts me in the middle of the night to tell me how much she loves me. I started feeling excited, but stopped myself, because I know that what goes up must come down.

If I ignore her she finds ways to manipulate and torment me. Even if I block her she finds a way to get a message through. If I talk to her she just gets what she wants because I’m acting like a needy, validation seeking, weakling. There’s no way that I’m even attractive to her right now anyway cause I’m acting so afc. But that’s not me. I have goals, dreams, ambitions. I can’t see them right now though.

She isn’t good for me. I know that. Things will never be good between her and me. She’s using me for supply. I’m not getting anything in return. It’s so messed up. These other girls I see are more attractive, more successful, more ambitious. More like who I really am. The exbpd only lives in the moment. She is always a “victim”. She is a user. It’s a tough situation to get out of.

I need to run my ass out of here and heal though. I need to be the master of my emotions rather than a slave to them. I need to be free from this bs.
Yank her panties down poke the skin flute in her with no protection bust your nut and try get her pregnant, wouldn't you love to do that LOL. She keeps coming back because you are probably easy to control. The last time I seen my ex face to face it was she wouldn't look at me she's scared of me, I wouldn't ever hurt her, she knows that. If she doesn't get a reaction from you she will eventually move on.
 

stovepipe

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I had so much going on at work with poor mismanagement, I got stuff dumped on me that wasn't supposed to be in my job description, my new manager and I became good friends, the BPD ex hated that (jealousy). My life was chaos, more than I could handle it was getting really hard to keep things together, I was losing my patience and my temper. At the time I didn't know anything about BPD or what it was all I knew was my ex had mental health issues. The stories she told always put her in the victim role, her life was a mess, she has a path of destruction. She is manipulative alright she bragged about manipulating and using people I watched her do it, everything was for her and her only she is really self fish. She wanted to know everything I wouldn't tell her I would keep her in the dark, she is sneaky, digging up info, gathering evidence to use against me, trying to have something to hold over my head. Her and I had intense fights with her having emotional lash outs at me, it was like fighting with a child, she acted like one, she would go to another room to cry. Or we would have a fight over text, she would text so fast I couldn't get a word in edge wise.
Your whole world starts to fall apart when they are in your life. When you dont know anything about Cluster B's, it truly is a traumatic experience. You are basically at war when you are dating/married to one. When its you over you need to be debriefed on what happened. That is 1# thing to help in recovery is knowing how they work, what everything "really" meant and what happened. Once you learn all about them they become so easy read. You end up looking back and seeing everything for what it really was.

I learned more about life, myself, psychology and so many other things in 1 year than I did in 10. After I learned all about them I decided to help others who were in a relationship with one, or recovering. I spent a good 8 months helping people all over the world, made new friends and all. But in the end I had to stop as it was taking a toll on my own well being. What you dont hear about is how many commit suicide will with them, after a break up or die from a stroke/heart attack from all the stress they cause. I've read a lot of horrific stories from people I helped. These types of people commit a silent type of murder/abuse with no bruises, no cuts or marks, its all emotional and stress related. Gas lighting is very dangerous to someone who doesn't know wtf is going on.

You are lucky to have her out of the life and you are alive and well. A lot of men waste their entire lives chasing their ex narc/bpd because they dont have that one thing that thing that changes everything..knowledge on how they work. I guess for me the hardest thing Im still struggling with in recovery is extreme shame in myself for not leaving her for good the many times I tried. I always got sucked back into her toxic vortex. Knowing how she got pleasure seeing me in pain, how I always went back to her after being treated like dog chit. She must have looked at me like I was the dumbest man in the world. But its ok, I learned a very valuable life changing lesson, and I know karma will strike down on her.

I need to get back on the no contact wagon. This girl was trying to monkey branch back to me. I played like I was all down for it, even though I’m seeing like three other girls now. But I am acting like such a beta phag I can’t believe it. This isn’t me. I’ve never had Oneitis like this for many years. It’s driving me up the wall. She isn’t even great. There’s really nothing good about her. She texts me in the middle of the night to tell me how much she loves me. I started feeling excited, but stopped myself, because I know that what goes up must come down.
If you dont have any kids with her then why are you continuing to give her supply? Block all forms of contact asap even if you have to change your #. Wake up man, STOP answering her and stay no contact!

The 1# thing against these demons is to NEVER show a reaction to their bs mind games. No reaction hurts them, the more you do it, the faster they will leave you alone. When you no longer work like they need you to, you become worthless to them. Its all about control. No control= you're worthless
 
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