"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BPD ex contacts me after 6 mos NC

D

DangNammit

Don Juan
Joined
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She gutted me completely and left me wondering wtf happened.

I have been pining for her for a long, long time. She sent me a text this am - no hi or how u been... just her phone number and "its me so and so" all topped off with a smiley.

Crazy *****. I deleted the message and am trying hard again to forget I ever knew her. This sucks because I've never loved someone so much before...

But I have a gal who is great right now - who isn't going to pull that crap and that helps. Just venting guys... thanks
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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J

Julius_Seizeher

Master Don Juan
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Man, this is another one of those things that make you think there is Female Behavior Manual somewhere. It seems all women, BPD or not, will try to re-establish contact 6 mos. after a breakup. I mean it's up there with "death and taxes."

My last ex, who wasn't BPD, did the same thing.
 
T

ThunderMaverick

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Same thing happened to me. She dumped me in December and contacted me in June. No joke. I kept up contact and it ended in tears all over again.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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F

frencha

Don Juan
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Jun 28, 2010
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Got dumped recently starting to wonder if my dumb ex will call. Argh.. the agony she put me through..:box:

Be strong dude, keep the gal you got now.:up:
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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