Bourne's Journal of Approaches and Life - need feedback

[khash]

Bourne? how attractive are you? or at least what have people said about you. I wanna know this.
blackdragon had an earlier post on this, but I will say it again. you need to be more relaxed and look at this as fun. when you are too concious about it, other chicks sort of pick up what your intentions are. They realize ( its a miracle how human nature works man, dont ask me how) that you are either practicing or nervous. in other words, you dont seem natural. its because of the vibes you are giving, body language, your tone, they way you speak.

why dont u try this and get back to me on how it works for you:

the next set of girls, approach them as if they were checking you out the whole time and that you were tired of it and wanted to tell them to **** off. dont actually behave that way, but have that mentality. have your hands straight down and your shoulders sticking up and chest slightly sticking out.look above the horizon and approach them. while you are approaching, smile slightly and maintain eye contact.

talk to them like they are your slaves. and that you are their leader and your words have value. talk slowly and try to give it a sexy tone. when talking to them dont move your body too much nor use your hands alot. once in a while to seem natural but try to keep them down and dont break that eye contact . when they are talking to you, answering your question or what not, dont act too interested and enthusiastic about what they have to say. act normal and just like you are talking to another person under you. also when they are talking, break the eye contact and VERY slowly rotate your neck to the side as in you noticed something or she is being too boring. dont nod too much to what they say, and try to keep a very slight smile on your face at all time. they test you ALOT man, you must be aware. they try to test your power. for example they try to interupt you or disagree with what you are saying to see if you confrom to them. if you do this, YOUR TOAST. remember that it is what you say that matters, your way or the highway. dont even say things like " i guess you are right". Also, dont ever ask them if they ahve a boyfriend or if they are busy to see you. assume that they are free and that it is their honour to go out with you.

so say something like this:
" after your open up and build rapport with them keeping in mind the stuff mentioned above, right after they finish saying something or during it, look at your watch slowly and tell her " I have to get going, i am meeting someone and i dont want to be late, give me your number and it would be lovely to continue our conversation." tell her confidently while directly looking at her eyes and slowly move your body slightly to the side as a signature that you are ready to depart. dont seem to serious, maintain that smile i talked about, not a big smile, just a little smile so that you dont look like you are outcome dependant. if she says no, just leave without saying anything. dont say " have a goodone" or " it was nice meeting you " . just walk away while maintaining that smile on your face and when you walk away, make sure you are walking very slowly and confidently. DONT BE NICE MAN, IT WONT GET YOU ANYWHERE. Women are all *****es, you must treat them all the same, even the " nicest or shyest girl ".

you must have this mentality for reasons that psychology explains. you are reversing everything on these chicks. these are things they do to men, but when men do it to them, they dont process it conciously, they just submit. believe me, if there was another woman that saw your interaction with this girl, she would be amazed. she would think you are an alpha male and much more receptive later on.

do this, and get back to me. if you do it right, you will see changes.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

I sorta take those words back. Apporaching isn't fun until you get good at it. Everyone gonna have to apporach for year or 2. ( you get good apporaches or bad apporaches )

I used to be a keyboard jockey and look at this stuff easy. I have totally change my view of apporaching. This stuff can be very hard. I think first people need to take risk in apporaching. Fear holds many people back from having a good apporach. Even me. It's gonna take a full year until the fear of apporaching drops down. Even 2 years just to be used to it.

Bourne? how attractive are you? or at least what have people said about you. I wanna know this.

Thats dosen't matter. Looks aren't gonna get him any where. As long as he dosen't dress like a dork, has a good hair cut, and works out. He is 100% ok on his looks. What we need to do is change our self-image. Stop thinking we are ugly and start thinking we are smooth and cool.

I get tired of listeing to the " If your not hot, you will have a harder time getting a girl " This bullcrap belongs in the trash can.

I don't care if Bourne is the ugliest guy around. He can still get girls.
I feel like too many people in america has poor self-image. They view theirselfs as losers and not as winners.

People think, my nose is too long, my face is ugly. And waste money in getting plastic sygengy, when they should enjoy being who they are.

Don't get a face lift. Change your self-image.

 

[AudiTy]

Thats dosen't matter. Looks aren't gonna get him any where. As long as he dosen't dress like a dork, has a good hair cut, and works out. He is 100% ok on his looks. What we need to do is change our self-image. Stop thinking we are ugly and start thinking we are smooth and cool.

I get tired of listeing to the " If your not hot, you will have a harder time getting a girl " This bullcrap belongs in the trash can.

I don't care if Bourne is the ugliest guy around. He can still get girls.
I feel like too many people in america has poor self-image. They view theirselfs as losers and not as winners.

People think, my nose is too long, my face is ugly. And waste money in getting plastic sygengy, when they should enjoy being who they are.

Don't get a face lift. Change your self-image.

Agreed.

If you believe you are good looking, you are. If you believe that the length of your nose isn't going to be a problem, guess what, it isn't. It is only in thinking about these things that we slow down our progress. We all have the ability to achieve our goals, more so when all that's preventing you is simply a negative self-image.

-AudiTy =o

 

[khash]

first of all blackdragon, i dont mean get a face lift. it is to me a surprise that you even misunderstood me and call ur self a don juan. don junas know that when we talk about " attractive" we are not talking about facial beauty. what are you a woman?

attractiveness has to do with your self image, your height, your style, and everything about you. AND YES YOUR FACE TOO.

while I dont disagree with the fact that ugliest guys can get girls, they can not get the TOP girls as easy as a much better looking and physically more attractive guy. you erase this bull**** from your mind, whoever told you looks dont matter is either so ugly themselves that they are trying to make them selves feel better or just wants to screw you. LOOKS MATTER VERY MUCH. YOU CANT DO MUCH ABOUT IT, you can put nice cloths which can mask your ugly face but you cant change your looks. women are just human like us, they want to mate with goodloocking males to have good looking children. which planet are you from man?

while you cant change your looks, you can improve other areas that will help you, and yes you will surely get some women but you WONT be the best if you arent physically attractive. simply put tha way. this world isnt fair, the fittest survive. so if a guy is better looking sa you and approaches same amount of women as you with the same attitude, he is much more successful than you. IM SORRY, go cry, go kill ur selves if u want to, thats the way it is.
just like donald trump is richer than you no matter what you do right now, there are always people better. you should believe that you are the best, but also dont kill yourself about losing the battle to more " fit " guys.

 

[khash]

relax u boys, i aint here to take ur criticism. this was posted for the threadstarter. I know i am right, and u guys are just either misunderstanding . i asked if he is attractive just for my knowledge, not to criticize his progress. I want to know how girls treat him and help him.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

first of all blackdragon, i dont mean get a face lift. it is to me a surprise that you even misunderstood me and call ur self a don juan. don junas know that when we talk about " attractive" we are not talking about facial beauty. what are you a woman?

attractiveness has to do with your self image, your height, your style, and everything about you. AND YES YOUR FACE TOO.

while I dont disagree with the fact that ugliest guys can get girls, they can not get the TOP girls as easy as a much better looking and physically more attractive guy. you erase this bull**** from your mind, whoever told you looks dont matter is either so ugly themselves that they are trying to make them selves feel better or just wants to screw you. LOOKS MATTER VERY MUCH. YOU CANT DO MUCH ABOUT IT, you can put nice cloths which can mask your ugly face but you cant change your looks. women are just human like us, they want to mate with goodloocking males to have good looking children. which planet are you from man?

while you cant change your looks, you can improve other areas that will help you, and yes you will surely get some women but you WONT be the best if you arent physically attractive. simply put tha way. this world isnt fair, the fittest survive. so if a guy is better looking sa you and approaches same amount of women as you with the same attitude, he is much more successful than you. IM SORRY, go cry, go kill ur selves if u want to, thats the way it is.
just like donald trump is richer than you no matter what you do right now, there are always people better. you should believe that you are the best, but also dont kill yourself about losing the battle to more " fit " guys.

WHoa bro, clam down.
People are always gonna disagree with ya. I notice how if girls like you for your looks they seem to just want you for sex and then once their tired of screwing you they leave. Women look for good traits in a man. Also traits that will help their kids attarct mates. Most normal women ( not crazy women ) look for. Happniess, confidence and self-repecst ( very improtant here ).


Yes their is a huge arguement that gose back and forth with looks. I still feel that your self-image is how you are gonna feel about yourself. If you view your self-image as ugly then you will feel ugly and you will give off those vibes.

Alot of guys around here will say " your ugly " because none of us are gay. Even if we have the coolest clothes and sunglasses. Some guy gonna say your ugly.

Another thing is a opinon is a opinon. Ugly guys don't care if they are ugly and women love being around any men who likes himself and respects himself.

To khash: first of all, get used to people disagreeing with ya man. You can't just get mad and start bashing and doing personal attacks on people. ( Thats how alot of people get banned around here and get other people to dislike them ).
When you said you don't think I'm a don juan. Thats your opinon. I came far from my keyboard jockey days.
You need to take criticism and get used to it.

 

[khash]

^^^^^^^^
to blackdragon: dude listen, of course I am open to criticizing. with all honesty, your opinion is welcome, it doesnt affect me but its most certainly welcome. we are all brothers here and i respect everysingle don juan here. BUT...it did take me to surprise that you thought I was purely talking about face when i mentioned the word " attractiveness". i wanted to make it clear so that it is also not misunderstood by further people reading these posts.. Everything about the self image and scuh is absolitely true. if you believe you are the hottest guy, you will give off that vibe. however, I also believe that you shouldnt act like the hottest guy if ur plain ass ugly. I mean, people such as my self and many others will think he is acting. but I mean, thats that persons business.

as far as the argument for looks goes. who cares man. believe what you believe right now. All that matters is our beliefs anyway. I do think that argument is blown out of proportion however and will try to make it clear here so we forget about this stupid statement once and for all.

looks do matter to every human whether male or female, and matters quite alot. However, for the female species, they are volnerable to emotion and emotion can sometimes override anything physical to some extend. I believe this is how not physically attractive don juans are masters. they show enormous confidence and play their cards right to affect the girl in the right way. the male specie is a completely different specie that looks at physical beauty as the most important thing.

being a don juan has not much to do with looks however. being a don juan is about the mental state one is in, and the self respect one has for himself. with the appropriate attitude and mindset, anyone can get girls regardless of looks. it might be on the harder side for the less physically attractive ones, but they can do it if they really want it that bad.

enuff said. Peace out till next time boys.

 

[Bourne]

It has come the time for me to re-evaluate myself and few other things in my life. My journal has helped me alot in trying to figure that out. Now I am not stopping with my Approach Journal, but I am taking a little break from it. My inner game and my self confidence have been suffering. I know since I've never done things like that before, I accept failure and mistakes as a huge part of the learning process. What I discovered is that I was looking for something outside myself to help me gain confidence. By approaching I got a sudden rush of feel good chemicals regardless of how I did. Then it went away few hours later only to put me back in feeling so-so about myself and things in my life. I would go out again and do the same. I would go out and approach just to spike my endorphins and feel good, just to come back down. Same thing happened. Later it became a way for me to feel better for a little bit, but I was missing a big part. The inner self confidence and working on myself first. Now I figured out what the problem is and I am able to rework this to my greater benefit. I will continue with my Journal, that is unquestionable, but I need a bit time off from doing things I have, because it hasn't been helping.
I will be back to continue. Someone said it best to me, I have the balls to do what most of people will never do, but what I lack is the skill and basics of social skills to go anywhere beyond the approach. Last week and a half I've been doing alot of socializing, alot of self-reflecting. I just got a job as a server, which is going to help me overcome my social blocks.
If you have any feedback to give me on that it is more then welcomed.
Untill then.

PS. I appreciate the feedback from you guys so far. I am a good looking guy. About an 8-9. But I agree with both. Looks help, but at the same time there are times where looks are not that important.

 

[resilient]

Funny, but you, Blackdragon, and I are kinda at this plateau where we're re-evaluating inner game, before taking on outer game again. Good luck Bourne, you'll step right up to the plate again when you're ready.

I also agree about looks. It ain't everything. I forget where I read it but it said most girls are attracted to personality (70%) then looks (30%). That's why we see fat bald dudes with smoking hot babes. He's probably got a killer frame/attitude.

007

 

[Bourne]

4 Kiss Closes and ONS

Saturday 6.4.2006 – 4 and 1

You look like you are doing awesome Resilient. How has it been for you in terms of inner game? Your outer game seems to be very solid and I think that seminar/workshop you went to helped you alot.

As you have read before I am concentration on the inner part of myself. So I haven’t been cold approaching. Everything will start up again and I will write more FR, but first let me tell you about Saturday night.
I finally got laid, had a ONS and made out with 4 girls. So my goal list is getting slowly checked off.

Went to a bar/club with friends. One tip of advice, which was one of the best things me and my friend decided to do was buy drinks and walk around the club a few times and click/toast glasses with all the females. This automatically lowered EVERY ***** shield and opened an instant convo and if no convo then later you see them, and its like you already know them!This worked so good, I can’t believe how simple and good this trick is. We did that for a little while. Every girl responded warmly. The ones that didn’t, well we didn’t want to talk to them anyway. But we did give them a hard time. Like “Your friend sucks, how do you hang out with her?” “You two girls are the most unfriendliest of all in this bar, I don’t want to even talk o you.” Which usually ended up them trying to justify themselves to us. But it was too late. I kissed closed a girl on the dance floor after dancing with her for a little while.

Back at the apartment, my friend invited 3 girls over and I ended up making out with all three and getting laid by one. Don’t ask me how I did it. I don’t know. What I think it was is indifference, pure confidence on having fun and NO HESITATION. I was teasing, laughing, joking with them and never stopping the sexual tension while doing all that. LOTS OF KINO. VERY IMPORTANT. And not that friendly kino, sexual kino and a bit suggestive.

I found out a lot about myself this weekend and what it takes to have a good time at such a competitive place like a bar. Great last night. Just great.

 

[MrCode]

Great stuff!

Keep it up Bourne, you are doing great! I've just stayed up two hours past my standard bedtime to read through this whole thread! So I blame you if I'm tired tomorrow

On a more serious note, you definitely need to be careful and keep a balance in your life. It is great to go out and sarge and make approaches, but that can't be your sole source of gratification in life. I think you will find that if you truly build your own happiness in life (without women) that when the time comes to meet or date some women you will be much more indifferent. When women are just adding to your already abundant happiness, it removes a lot of pressure.

Only you can truly make yourself happy.

 

[resilient]

That's great man. Your wing hooked you up in the after party. I'm guessing the rendezvous loft was close. After staying out late drinking - dancing - socializing.

I've noticed most HBs are ready to quickly fall asleep. I've been successful in time-bouncing them for more comfort building at hole in the walls that are still open for food, but they quickly get tired and can't keep up the sexual tension/kino escalation going.

if the drive is far from bar/club then the success rate of the ONS is so much harder to pull off - but you did it. Nice one man thank your buddy! Also, the tipn’ glass was something new to me – cool tip! I'll e-mail you my inner game experience this year since it's a bit long and wordy.

 

[Alittude]

I just read the whole thread and man what a great journal I had a great time reading it and I too stayed up way past my bedtime to read it. Keep it coming man It's very inspiring.

 

[Bourne]

Another ONS and another fun experience.

Saturday 6.10.2006

Thanks MrCode. Keep intouch man, we will sarge one day.

Hey Resilient, thanks for the reply. Have you tried the tipping the glass yet? I'm curious how has it worked for someone else. I'm looking forward to that inner game email. No rush bro, when ever you get a chance.
EDIT: Thanks for the email man, I just checked and looking forward to reading it later tonight.

Thanks Alittude.

In the last month or so I have discovered a lot about myself. I have challenged myself and I have both succeeded and failed. My belief system has been under constant stress and that is very good. What I hold so dear to my heart has been tested and shattered, only to be replaced by new experience and new belief systems. I paid too much attention to others, to what they said about me, I paid too much attention to what television and movies said, magazines, girls and my parents. I was a product of other people’s opinion and not my own. It has been a great last 3 months of looking deep inside myself and challenging everything that I thought I was but was fake.

Saturday once again. Me and a friend went to a bar/club. We invited a few friends with us. The more people the better. As soon as we and my friend (guy from last week) walk into the club/bar within seconds he talks to some girl and ends up making out with her. I couldn’t believe how quick and fast it was. For the rest of the night, we continued to have fun, dance and talk to every guy and girl in the place. Approaching anything and everything. One thing on our minds the whole night. It is to have FUN. We didn’t care about getting laid, or making out with anyone we knew that if we concentrate on having a blast then everything would take care of itself.

Again I ended up making out with some women on the dance floor for a bit.

Later then night we came back to the apartment. My friend invited the 3 girls from last week over again. I ended up seducing and getting laid by another girl. Another notch on my bedpost. Total count of getting laid so far in my life has gone up to 4.

Now I’m going to list a few things I learned so far in the last 2-3 months. Especially in the last few weeks, where I spend less time on the internet and more time in the field.

• You will not find a decent girlfriend at bars/clubs. Don’t look. Most girls who visit these places on regular basis are not your g/f material. There are exceptions, but don’t go looking for one in these venues.
• You must never hesitate for a second in anything. Women will pick up on it and you will loose. Don’t hesitate, ever.
• Never approach head on with your body towards them.
• Be playful, don’t be so serious in everything. Have fun. Because in the end you only live once. Do sh1t for yourself first and only then you can start doing things for others.
• Have fun. Just have fun and get experience in this world. Get some cool stories. Don't concentrate on getting laid. Your goal should be to have fun, everything else WILL fall into place.

More to come later.

 

[L777]

Bourne, nice 1 on the approaches, but I still reckon you need to get better at something,developing RAPPORT, in a lot ofyourapproaches you seem to be 'interviewing' them.

And no I didn't get this off Mysterious method or Funny and C.ocky or whatever, its just obvious....popular ( and popular with girls) people, develop RAPPORT with other ppl...simple

 

[Bourne]

Bourne, nice 1 on the approaches, but I still reckon you need to get better at something,developing RAPPORT, in a lot ofyourapproaches you seem to be 'interviewing' them.

And no I didn't get this off Mysterious method or Funny and C.ocky or whatever, its just obvious....popular ( and popular with girls) people, develop RAPPORT with other ppl...simple

I completely agree with you. Any tips? advice?

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Here bro, anyway this is the book I'm scanning and gonna read.

The Magic of Rapport by Jerry Richardson & Joel Margulis

 

[AudiTy]

Sounds good Dragon, are you gonna upload it ? =)

 

[L777]

I completely agree with you. Any tips? advice?

Bourne I can't give you specific advice on what to say or anything, because that's not what rapport is. You just have to say something and actually have fun with it and just kinda "vibe" with it....I know thats not put very well put but I can't explain it really.

BUT, I can tell you what not to do (imho). Don't go in thinking "I must say this line, use this opener, then calibrate, then screen..." etc. I think it just confuses guys, then they get hung up when they rejected because they think it was down to them forgetting a technique or doing it wrong.

Personally the only thing I ever plan b4 I talk to a girl...a neghit if shes super fit, and thats about it. I think,to an extent, you have to be 'real'. PU works best when you learn HOW to talk and act round girls, not WHAT to say or do.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Sounds good Dragon, are you gonna upload it ? =)

Yes as soon as I'm do scanning it. What I will do it post it on another website. Private message me if your interested.