Bourne's Journal of Approaches and Life - need feedback
- Thread starter Bourne
- Start date
Monday - April 3, 2006
Monday 4.3.2006 – 11:30 am or so
During lunchtime in school I went to Taco bell and local starbucks that is inside a grocery store.
FR: Approach #13 inside grocery store at Flower Stand
Place was dead. I walked around said hi to two women. Smile on my face, feeling like a million bucks. HB6.5 was standing by the flowers, I hesitated for a minute then turned around and walked up to her.
Me: do you know much about flowers? It is my sisters birthday today and I wanted to get some flowers. Now I don’t want to get her roses, because they symbolize love but I think it would be just weird to get her red roses. Any suggestions?
HB6.5 started to talk about which flowers are good, which color symbolizes what etc.
Me: so you would say like a bouquet would be good?
HB6.5: yeah
Me: I think sunflower would be cool too, well thank you, have a good one.
Key Factors:
Improve on:
Cold Approach: 1 (13/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Monday 4.3.2006 – 11:30 am or so
During lunchtime in school I went to Taco bell and local starbucks that is inside a grocery store.
FR: Approach #13 inside grocery store at Flower Stand
Place was dead. I walked around said hi to two women. Smile on my face, feeling like a million bucks. HB6.5 was standing by the flowers, I hesitated for a minute then turned around and walked up to her.
Me: do you know much about flowers? It is my sisters birthday today and I wanted to get some flowers. Now I don’t want to get her roses, because they symbolize love but I think it would be just weird to get her red roses. Any suggestions?
HB6.5 started to talk about which flowers are good, which color symbolizes what etc.
Me: so you would say like a bouquet would be good?
HB6.5: yeah
Me: I think sunflower would be cool too, well thank you, have a good one.
Key Factors:
- Felt less nervous then before
- Made more eye contact with her and smiled during the conversation
- Slowed down my speech
- Less time between seeing a girl and approaching.
Improve on:
- It wasn’t my sister’s birthday, so I don’t think I want to use that opener again. Maybe something similar that won’t come back and bite me in the ass if the encounter becomes successful.
- I asked her a question but after a 2 second silence I answered it. I hear juggler uses this method called a vacuum where you ask a question and don’t say anything until they answer, hence fill the vacuum.
- Initiate a conversation more, ask her more questions. I could have asked what were her favorite flowers? Or Who was she buying flowers for? Or something similar.
- Take conversation a bit further and longer.
- Joke and be more playful
Cold Approach: 1 (13/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
It's called The Art of apporaching women . Just talks about apporaching women and conversation ideas. I don't waste my time with e-books like i used to do. I think the field is a better teacher. :yes:
Here the link
http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/art_of_approaching_women/
You seem to got the voice tone right. Make sure you do talk clearly and slow unless your mirroring her. A needy voice tone is a guy talking way too fast, or talking too soft. ( I do this by accident. I gotta work on it )
Don't worry if you use a like it's my sister's bday. It shows you are applying what you are learning.
Just don't start lieing too much. Remember we can't go though life without lieing so you know.
Here some help to adding humor to your apporaches man.
http://rinkworks.com/funny/
Ketp those field reports coming.
Here the link
http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/art_of_approaching_women/
You seem to got the voice tone right. Make sure you do talk clearly and slow unless your mirroring her. A needy voice tone is a guy talking way too fast, or talking too soft. ( I do this by accident. I gotta work on it )
Don't worry if you use a like it's my sister's bday. It shows you are applying what you are learning.
Just don't start lieing too much. Remember we can't go though life without lieing so you know.
Here some help to adding humor to your apporaches man.
http://rinkworks.com/funny/
Ketp those field reports coming.
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
I'm glad there are others besides myself doing things like this. I'll keep an eye on your thread.
BTW, the post you had earlier where you went up to the girls holding two shirts and the girl was looking at your eyes, that could have been an IOI.
Anyway, good luck and check my thread out if you can.
BTW, the post you had earlier where you went up to the girls holding two shirts and the girl was looking at your eyes, that could have been an IOI.
Anyway, good luck and check my thread out if you can.
Tuesday April 4, 2006
Thanks guys.
SoManyWays I will check out your thread, thanks man.
Tuesday 4.4.2006
I think today was the most successful approach to date yet. I could see my improvement.
FR: Approach #14 StarBucks (3pm)
Walked into starbucks and notices a girl sitting at a table studying. As I walked in she looked at me, automatically I said hi. Walked up ordered my coffee. As soon as I was done I turned around and approached her, sat right next to her at another table.
Me: What are you studying?
HB6: Organic Chemistry
Me: Wow, impressive. Where do you go to school?
HB6: SchoolName
Me: Oh really? I know a few people from there.
HB6: Who?
Me: Guy1, Girl1
HB6: I think I know Guy1
Me: Yeah, he throws parties over there, he is school’s DJ
HB6: Oh yeah I know him
Me: So how many years are you in?
HB6: 3
Me: Looks like you almost done, have you done your thesis yet?
Then the conversation went along talking about
Me: What was your name?
HB6: HB6, Yours?
Me: Bourne
Me: I’ll see you later HB6.
Lasted for about 5-8 minutes.
I didn’t bother getting her phone number. Reason was I am still practicing approaching and conversating. I probably could have done it but that wasn't my intention. I looked her up on face book. She is on it. I’ll add her as a friend in few days. My ex-g/f goes to same school, its small campus but she doesn’t know her. I don’t want to go back to that campus until my ex is gone.
This was the best approach I have ever done yet. I felt very good, not nervous only at initial approach. Once the conversation starting to flow it was great. I asked her questions based on what she talked about, I led conversation to interesting topics (ex. Beach, Life Plans), I talked about my how much people take things for granted, how fast life goes by etc. I learned a lot today. Huge step forward.
Key Factors:
Improve on:
Cold Approach: 1 (14/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Thanks guys.
SoManyWays I will check out your thread, thanks man.
Tuesday 4.4.2006
I think today was the most successful approach to date yet. I could see my improvement.
FR: Approach #14 StarBucks (3pm)
Walked into starbucks and notices a girl sitting at a table studying. As I walked in she looked at me, automatically I said hi. Walked up ordered my coffee. As soon as I was done I turned around and approached her, sat right next to her at another table.
Me: What are you studying?
HB6: Organic Chemistry
Me: Wow, impressive. Where do you go to school?
HB6: SchoolName
Me: Oh really? I know a few people from there.
HB6: Who?
Me: Guy1, Girl1
HB6: I think I know Guy1
Me: Yeah, he throws parties over there, he is school’s DJ
HB6: Oh yeah I know him
Me: So how many years are you in?
HB6: 3
Me: Looks like you almost done, have you done your thesis yet?
Then the conversation went along talking about
- where she is going after she is done with school
- i asked her what her plans are after school
- we talked about where she was from
- she asked me where I was from (IOI?)
- talked about beaches and how much we going to miss them once we are done with school and move on
- she asked me what I was going for in school (IOI?)
Me: What was your name?
HB6: HB6, Yours?
Me: Bourne
Me: I’ll see you later HB6.
Lasted for about 5-8 minutes.
I didn’t bother getting her phone number. Reason was I am still practicing approaching and conversating. I probably could have done it but that wasn't my intention. I looked her up on face book. She is on it. I’ll add her as a friend in few days. My ex-g/f goes to same school, its small campus but she doesn’t know her. I don’t want to go back to that campus until my ex is gone.
This was the best approach I have ever done yet. I felt very good, not nervous only at initial approach. Once the conversation starting to flow it was great. I asked her questions based on what she talked about, I led conversation to interesting topics (ex. Beach, Life Plans), I talked about my how much people take things for granted, how fast life goes by etc. I learned a lot today. Huge step forward.
Key Factors:
- I didn’t hesitate on saying hi. I made eye contact and within 3 seconds said hi.
- Right after I ordered coffee, I didn’t hesitate and approached. Not approaching wasn’t even an option in my head. That felt great.
- Led the conversation and initiated interesting topics from boring topics. School, work to fun stuff like beach and graduating and future.
- She asked me questions.
- First time I ever did so successfully. I know I need to work on a lot of stuff, but it felt good to do well.
Improve on:
- Perhaps should have asked for her number
- Joke and be more playful
Cold Approach: 1 (14/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Wednesday 4.5.2006
Wednesday 4.5.2006
---------------
Thanks Brak, I won't be stopping because I'm too scared. That isn't even an option.
Haha, Br. Good luck to you tonight. You guys will defiently be the first ones to know if I got laid. But when I do, it won't be the first time. I will keep pushing my game further and achieve everything I ever saw myself as but never had the balls to do it.
One thing I will say, that I will not lie and/or decieve anyone just to get some ass. It may take longer but like someone said before "Leave them better then you found them". Good motto.
I will have options, I will overcome anything that is in my way. My long AFC days are gone. And trust me when I say this. I will no longer be a shy, nice guy who I have been since the age of 16-25.
---------------
On to FR:
FR: Approach #15 School (12pm)
Girl was standing by artwork display. I came up and started to check out the work. Proximity awareness. Trying to get that down
Me: Any of these yours?
HB5: No, I’m not in this class
Pause.
Me: What are you majoring in? Illustration?
HB6: Yeap.
I can only ask so many questions where she doesn’t even look over. And is very uninterested. Few minutes later I walked away. Not much of a conversation, but it is an approach. I can only initiate a conversation so much.
FR: Approach #16 Mall (7pm)
I took a stroll at the mall today, mainly to get some food and maybe do some cold approaches. Saw these two girls walking around the mall. Few minutes later after I got my food I saw them sitting down. HB7, HB6. I got really nervous, sweating palms, shortness of breath, my heart was going 100 mph. I had to do it. I knew I was going to feel worse if I didn’t Again, I don’t want to reinforce bad feeling in me. Hundereds of things ran in my head of what to do and what to say. I didn’t want to come off as another guy hitting on them. I grew some balls and came up.
I think this is very important. Ever time you do something that takes you closer to your goal, you reinforce that good feeling. You gain confidence, self-esteem and know you will do better next time. On the other hand, if you don’t approach even though you wanted to you will go to the other end of the scale. You may not realize that but it takes toll on your self-confidence, self-respect and your overall image. I realizing it takes small steps to achieve your desired goal, but it works both ways. Positive and Negative.
Me: Hi, I have to find out. Because if I don’t its going to bother the sh1t out of me. Are you sisters?
HB7: No
Me: Reason I ask is because I used to live with a family who had a lot of sisters and I am good at picking this up. The way you two walked together in sync and looked at each other.
HB6: No, but we might as well be.
Me: You good friends?
HB7: Yeah, since we are kids, so we are practically sisters.
Me: Cool, so I wasn’t that much off. Well thanks.
Man was I nervous as hell during this encounter. I stuttered, I probably spoke faster then I needed to. But I did it. I guess this gets better and I don’t get as nervous the more I do it. Lets hope so. I want to talk and converse more then running a opinion opener and then bailing out.
I guess another fear I have to get rid off, is I think girls get turned off when they know you are hitting on them. Maybe not. I didn’t want to be another guy walking up and saying Whats up girls? What are you up to and running a sleazy game. I don’t know,. I need help in this department. Is it good to demonstrate you are interested from the get go? I think cold approaches are tough and are higher in rejection rate if you do that and don’t build enough comfort in them.
Key Factors:
Improve on:
Cold Approach: 2 (16/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Wednesday 4.5.2006
---------------
Thanks Brak, I won't be stopping because I'm too scared. That isn't even an option.
Haha, Br. Good luck to you tonight. You guys will defiently be the first ones to know if I got laid. But when I do, it won't be the first time. I will keep pushing my game further and achieve everything I ever saw myself as but never had the balls to do it.
One thing I will say, that I will not lie and/or decieve anyone just to get some ass. It may take longer but like someone said before "Leave them better then you found them". Good motto.
I will have options, I will overcome anything that is in my way. My long AFC days are gone. And trust me when I say this. I will no longer be a shy, nice guy who I have been since the age of 16-25.
---------------
On to FR:
FR: Approach #15 School (12pm)
Girl was standing by artwork display. I came up and started to check out the work. Proximity awareness. Trying to get that down
Me: Any of these yours?
HB5: No, I’m not in this class
Pause.
Me: What are you majoring in? Illustration?
HB6: Yeap.
I can only ask so many questions where she doesn’t even look over. And is very uninterested. Few minutes later I walked away. Not much of a conversation, but it is an approach. I can only initiate a conversation so much.
FR: Approach #16 Mall (7pm)
I took a stroll at the mall today, mainly to get some food and maybe do some cold approaches. Saw these two girls walking around the mall. Few minutes later after I got my food I saw them sitting down. HB7, HB6. I got really nervous, sweating palms, shortness of breath, my heart was going 100 mph. I had to do it. I knew I was going to feel worse if I didn’t Again, I don’t want to reinforce bad feeling in me. Hundereds of things ran in my head of what to do and what to say. I didn’t want to come off as another guy hitting on them. I grew some balls and came up.
I think this is very important. Ever time you do something that takes you closer to your goal, you reinforce that good feeling. You gain confidence, self-esteem and know you will do better next time. On the other hand, if you don’t approach even though you wanted to you will go to the other end of the scale. You may not realize that but it takes toll on your self-confidence, self-respect and your overall image. I realizing it takes small steps to achieve your desired goal, but it works both ways. Positive and Negative.
Me: Hi, I have to find out. Because if I don’t its going to bother the sh1t out of me. Are you sisters?
HB7: No
Me: Reason I ask is because I used to live with a family who had a lot of sisters and I am good at picking this up. The way you two walked together in sync and looked at each other.
HB6: No, but we might as well be.
Me: You good friends?
HB7: Yeah, since we are kids, so we are practically sisters.
Me: Cool, so I wasn’t that much off. Well thanks.
Man was I nervous as hell during this encounter. I stuttered, I probably spoke faster then I needed to. But I did it. I guess this gets better and I don’t get as nervous the more I do it. Lets hope so. I want to talk and converse more then running a opinion opener and then bailing out.
I guess another fear I have to get rid off, is I think girls get turned off when they know you are hitting on them. Maybe not. I didn’t want to be another guy walking up and saying Whats up girls? What are you up to and running a sleazy game. I don’t know,. I need help in this department. Is it good to demonstrate you are interested from the get go? I think cold approaches are tough and are higher in rejection rate if you do that and don’t build enough comfort in them.
Key Factors:
- I did approach, even if I was nervous as fvck
- Ran a good opener
- Made them feel more comfortable (I think, I was too nervous to tell)
- I felt good after I did it. I conquered another step.
Improve on:
- I was nervous as hell. Sweaty palms, shortness of breath, stuttering. Even when I was talking to them. I still talked though.
- Main thing I need is to get over the fear of approaching. I need to take from the opener to conversation about them and screening them. Making them laugh, etc.
- Also need feedback on paragraph above on being another guy. To demonstrate why I’m there or not. Just read the paragraph above this.
Cold Approach: 2 (16/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Not Over Yet 1 more approach - Wednesday 4.5.2006
Wednesday 4.5.2006
FR: Approach #17 Bookstore Coffee Shop (10pm)
Another approach before I could end the night. I’ve been doing homework for last 4-5 hours. Having tv on in the background. Around 10pm I wanted to go and just get out of the house for a little while, but didn’t know if I was going to.
I decided to go.
I’m now trying to see an opportunity in every place that I visit.
As I walk through the door I see a cute/a bit slutty HB6.5. Reason I say bit slutty is because she had a lot of make up and I don’t really care much for that. But anyway, I walk up and start thinking of things I can say. I notice a interesting looking purse. I was going to say something about it but there were two people behind the counter and one of them started to take my order ahead of time.
Me: ‘Drink of my choice’
HB6.5: (to cashier) What’s in that? I should know because I work at a coffee shop.
Cashier: BlahBlah
Me: It also has a bit of cinnamon and vanilla flavor. Where did you say you worked?
HB6.5: ‘Place of work’
Me: Which one?
HB6.5: ‘Name of location’
Me: The place that opens really early.
HB6.5: Yeah, 5 am.
Me: Do you ever have to work those shifts?
HB6.5: Yeah, I work them all, 5-3, 3-8 etc. I’ll be a manager within a month.
She orders something else. Tells me its for her little dog. I pursue her about her dog. She ends up showing me a pic. I get really close to her to check it out on her cell phone. Man did she smell good. I think I got a woody from that. Do I need to get laid.
She starts to take off as I pay my order.
HB6.5: Come visit me sometime
Me: ‘Name of the place and location’ right?
HB6.5:Yeah
Me: What was your name?
HB6.5: HB6.5
Me: I’m Bourne
HB6.5: Nice to meet you.
I found her on myspace. She is cutie, a bit slutty but in a good way. Looks like she’ll be a freak. I was thinking stopping by her place on Saturday and asking her for a cup of coffee. Ideas? Good day on Saturday or earlier? I’m going to pursue this one I think. I’m also thinking getting in touch with Girl Approach #14.
Suggestions? For what to do, keep in mind when I go over see if she wants to meet me up. I haven't really been out on dates much at all. That is going to be another conquest of fear. Tough road ahead, but fun.
Now she really initiated first conversation, but I pushed it. I was going to open her. I'm going to count this as an approach, even though it wasn't initiated completely by me.
Cold Approach: 3 (17/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Wednesday 4.5.2006
FR: Approach #17 Bookstore Coffee Shop (10pm)
Another approach before I could end the night. I’ve been doing homework for last 4-5 hours. Having tv on in the background. Around 10pm I wanted to go and just get out of the house for a little while, but didn’t know if I was going to.
I decided to go.
I’m now trying to see an opportunity in every place that I visit.
As I walk through the door I see a cute/a bit slutty HB6.5. Reason I say bit slutty is because she had a lot of make up and I don’t really care much for that. But anyway, I walk up and start thinking of things I can say. I notice a interesting looking purse. I was going to say something about it but there were two people behind the counter and one of them started to take my order ahead of time.
Me: ‘Drink of my choice’
HB6.5: (to cashier) What’s in that? I should know because I work at a coffee shop.
Cashier: BlahBlah
Me: It also has a bit of cinnamon and vanilla flavor. Where did you say you worked?
HB6.5: ‘Place of work’
Me: Which one?
HB6.5: ‘Name of location’
Me: The place that opens really early.
HB6.5: Yeah, 5 am.
Me: Do you ever have to work those shifts?
HB6.5: Yeah, I work them all, 5-3, 3-8 etc. I’ll be a manager within a month.
She orders something else. Tells me its for her little dog. I pursue her about her dog. She ends up showing me a pic. I get really close to her to check it out on her cell phone. Man did she smell good. I think I got a woody from that. Do I need to get laid.
She starts to take off as I pay my order.
HB6.5: Come visit me sometime
Me: ‘Name of the place and location’ right?
HB6.5:Yeah
Me: What was your name?
HB6.5: HB6.5
Me: I’m Bourne
HB6.5: Nice to meet you.
I found her on myspace. She is cutie, a bit slutty but in a good way. Looks like she’ll be a freak. I was thinking stopping by her place on Saturday and asking her for a cup of coffee. Ideas? Good day on Saturday or earlier? I’m going to pursue this one I think. I’m also thinking getting in touch with Girl Approach #14.
Suggestions? For what to do, keep in mind when I go over see if she wants to meet me up. I haven't really been out on dates much at all. That is going to be another conquest of fear. Tough road ahead, but fun.
Now she really initiated first conversation, but I pushed it. I was going to open her. I'm going to count this as an approach, even though it wasn't initiated completely by me.
Cold Approach: 3 (17/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 18/50 Hellos
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
Warning long post.
Ketp appoarching. I tired to get appoarch today but didn't. Plus some chick gave me a evil look when I went to appoarch her ( I already know what's she going to say ). Dosen't matter what you say when you appoarch 2 girls just ketp doing it. Your getting good at reading body language.
Another tip for you
It takes 2 to have a arguement. It takes 2 to have sex. It takes 2 to have a conversation. Remember women love to talk about theirselfs, watch how she acts if she not interested.
Me: So you drew this stuff ?
Hb7: Yeah
Me: How long you been doing this ?
Hb7: for a while ....
Me: oh....
See what I mean. She not giving enough info. No convo.
Now watch how she acts if she interested.
Me: So you drew this stuff ?
Hb7: Yeah, also do photographing and draw cartoons
Me: How long you been doing this
HB7: Since I was 5, Sorta stopped at 10 but started up again. When I draw it likes...... helps me relax.
Me:What careers can you get with drawing
Hb7: Blah Blah Blah
Hb7: BLah Blah
Hb7: Blah blah etc..
See much more info. When it comes to talking to girls, they will throw out info so you can ask them questions about it. The real true behind convo is to develop a relationship. Remember ketp at it, your just new with this stuff. I been apporaching for a while so it dosen't brother me as much. ( I still get nervous )
Another tip
Mental Trainning
Image yourself appoarching 2 girls, think of what they will say
1. If they are sisters
2. If they are friends
3. If they are twins
4. If 1 is taller then the other 1
5. If 1 is fatter then the other 1 ( don't make jokes about the fat chick it's a fast way to show how much of a$$hole you are )
etc...
Find things to say, And remember sorta make the girl be like the bad guy so she proves herself to you. NOT YOU TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF TO HER. If the girl likes being the bad guy then that means she dosen't see herself in a postive way, meaning end the convo and walk away. She will drive you crazy if you get in a relationship with her (Even as friends).
If she joking with you then nothing to worry.
Face it man, If you appoarch a girl and start talking to her your showing interest. The idea is to show that your interested in giving to know her but to show her your not another guy she can walk all over. Meaning in other words, DON'T BE A NICE GUY !!!!!!!!!
When a girl apporaches you and start talking to you she showing interest.
"Don't sweat it man, remember what I said ?? "
Apporaching to be fun if you make it fun. Your being way too serious and hard on yourself. WOMEN ARE APPOARCHED ALL THE TIME. Let me repeat
WOMEN ARE APPORACHED ALL THE TIME. They are used to guys coming up talking to them. Actually they love it !!! So ketp appoarching.
The problem your having is within yourself. You aren't used to appoarching and even though I'm appoarching more, I still get a little nervous.
Let me help you understand a chick magnet
A chick magnet, feels good about himself, and not like but LOVES who he is. He can live without girls ( meaning he dosen't take bullcrap ).
Ways to make you feel better about yourself
1. Work out ( VERY IMPORTANT HERE )
2. Eat right ( VERY IMPORTANT HERE TOO )
3. Get goals done
4. Stay clean ( clean clothes, take a shower )
5. Do less lieing
Doing cold appoarches is Drill & Kill. The Drill is to appoarch 100 girls and say 50 hellos Right ?
The Kill is killing fears, inseuires, weak body language, weak voice, being way too nice, weak confidence and weak self believe.
( Drill is the cause ( doing it to improve yourself ) and Kill is the effect ( destorying those fears ) Cause and effect.
So finally when you appoarch girls say to yourself Drill & Kill. Because you know the drill and you know what you are gonna to kill.
Good luck
~ Blackdragon
Ketp appoarching. I tired to get appoarch today but didn't. Plus some chick gave me a evil look when I went to appoarch her ( I already know what's she going to say ). Dosen't matter what you say when you appoarch 2 girls just ketp doing it. Your getting good at reading body language.
Another tip for you
It takes 2 to have a arguement. It takes 2 to have sex. It takes 2 to have a conversation. Remember women love to talk about theirselfs, watch how she acts if she not interested.
Me: So you drew this stuff ?
Hb7: Yeah
Me: How long you been doing this ?
Hb7: for a while ....
Me: oh....
See what I mean. She not giving enough info. No convo.
Now watch how she acts if she interested.
Me: So you drew this stuff ?
Hb7: Yeah, also do photographing and draw cartoons
Me: How long you been doing this
HB7: Since I was 5, Sorta stopped at 10 but started up again. When I draw it likes...... helps me relax.
Me:What careers can you get with drawing
Hb7: Blah Blah Blah
Hb7: BLah Blah
Hb7: Blah blah etc..
See much more info. When it comes to talking to girls, they will throw out info so you can ask them questions about it. The real true behind convo is to develop a relationship. Remember ketp at it, your just new with this stuff. I been apporaching for a while so it dosen't brother me as much. ( I still get nervous )
Another tip
Mental Trainning
Image yourself appoarching 2 girls, think of what they will say
1. If they are sisters
2. If they are friends
3. If they are twins
4. If 1 is taller then the other 1
5. If 1 is fatter then the other 1 ( don't make jokes about the fat chick it's a fast way to show how much of a$$hole you are )
etc...
Find things to say, And remember sorta make the girl be like the bad guy so she proves herself to you. NOT YOU TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF TO HER. If the girl likes being the bad guy then that means she dosen't see herself in a postive way, meaning end the convo and walk away. She will drive you crazy if you get in a relationship with her (Even as friends).
If she joking with you then nothing to worry.
Face it man, If you appoarch a girl and start talking to her your showing interest. The idea is to show that your interested in giving to know her but to show her your not another guy she can walk all over. Meaning in other words, DON'T BE A NICE GUY !!!!!!!!!
When a girl apporaches you and start talking to you she showing interest.
"Don't sweat it man, remember what I said ?? "
Apporaching to be fun if you make it fun. Your being way too serious and hard on yourself. WOMEN ARE APPOARCHED ALL THE TIME. Let me repeat
WOMEN ARE APPORACHED ALL THE TIME. They are used to guys coming up talking to them. Actually they love it !!! So ketp appoarching.
The problem your having is within yourself. You aren't used to appoarching and even though I'm appoarching more, I still get a little nervous.
Let me help you understand a chick magnet
A chick magnet, feels good about himself, and not like but LOVES who he is. He can live without girls ( meaning he dosen't take bullcrap ).
Ways to make you feel better about yourself
1. Work out ( VERY IMPORTANT HERE )
2. Eat right ( VERY IMPORTANT HERE TOO )
3. Get goals done
4. Stay clean ( clean clothes, take a shower )
5. Do less lieing
Doing cold appoarches is Drill & Kill. The Drill is to appoarch 100 girls and say 50 hellos Right ?
The Kill is killing fears, inseuires, weak body language, weak voice, being way too nice, weak confidence and weak self believe.
( Drill is the cause ( doing it to improve yourself ) and Kill is the effect ( destorying those fears ) Cause and effect.
So finally when you appoarch girls say to yourself Drill & Kill. Because you know the drill and you know what you are gonna to kill.
Good luck
~ Blackdragon
Friday 4.7.2006
I'm feeling one-itis today. Its been four weeks. This is normal right, after four weeks? I am kind of down on myself and is thinking of my ex. It has been a bit tough today in that sense. I am still getting over it, but damnit, I want this feeling to be completely gone. No, there is no way I will contact her, don't you guys worry about it.
Drill and Kill. I like that. Thanks for the feedback man. I need it. I do enjoy approaching or else I wouldn't do it. It is still uncomortable at most times.
FR: Attracton to Comfort Building with Older Women
Went to engagement party. One women was quiet taken by me, she was for a little while but this is the first time I spend time talking to her. She knows me through where I work. She used to work there. I met her once previously, but I had a g/f at the time. She is a looker. HB7.5. Nice set up on top. She is older in her late 30s, early 40s.
Everything went great. She is a touch person = good sign. Made her laugh, teased her. I build up a lot of value.
2 hours later I walked her to her car,
Me: I had a lot of fun, I want to see you again. Let me get your number
She started to write her number down.
Me: Are you free on saturdays and sundays?
Her: I'm a busy women, I like to keep busy. Keeps me out of my head.
Me:" I know what you mean, I'm similar"
Her: Yeah? I like to play, I play alot, are you down to play.
Me: I love to play
Her: bye
Me: bye
What? Play = sex. I take it. Now how do I make that transition? I don't have any experience in doing that. Do I take her somewhere for a couple of drinks? Then go from there? What do I do and how do I take those next steps to her bed? When do I call? When do I set soemthing up? and How do I escalate? -- Problems
I got advice from other forum and one guy who has a lot of experience with this told me to
“You could have had sex after that conversation. Now that you haven't, wait until next wednesday and call her: "Hey this is Alex, you free to play on Friday night? I'll pick you up for some drinks" If she says she is busy, tell her she has your number and she can call you when she is free. Older women don't like BS. Hit her hard or leave the ball in her court and leave. trust me, I have a lot of experience in this.”
I will probably end up doing that. I’m not sure why to wait that long, but I have no experience and that guy has had a lot of it.
FR: Approach #18 Bar (midnight – 2am) – total of 4 approaches but will count as 1
This was the most discomforting time I have had yet. I have to put myself out there and endure through this discomfort. I went to the bar by myself. Doing that I think took a lot of balls alone. It’s a tough venue, meat market at prime time. Tough for me because I have not done something like that ever before. I’ve been to bars, but usually with friends or my ex g/f. Not with intention to game. Wow, was it tough, but I really enjoyed it and tried stuff out. B1tich shields were full blast and it made it more challenging.
I want to mention I enjoy doing this. But through social and mental conditioning that I held previously I feel extremely uncomfortable in such social situations. Once I get used I tend to become the guy people want to be around. Its like when you get to know someone you see there true potential come out, but before they are just too damn shy. That’s me. So this is tough for me but I am going to keep doing this until it is second nature.
Approach Bar #1:
Standing next to 3 girls. HB8, HB7, HB8. Band was playing full blast and I couldn’t really say much. Inbetween songs, I turned to them.
Me: Did you know this band was on Jay Leno?
HB8: Really?
Me: Yeah, but they ended up being cut out.
HB7: (joining in) What?
HB8: This band was in Jay Leno
HB7: Really?
Me: Yes. As soon as they found out the band does only cover songs, they cut the segment out. But they still played.
HB8: Wow, that’s impressive.
Song started. Loud again. Some guy was walking by and used a cheesy ass line to one of the girls.
Me: What did he say to you?
HB8: He said “you are the most beautiful girl here”.
Me: Because that works all the time
HB8: I know, its like let me give you my number right now!
After that, there wasn’t much I did. Few minutes later I walked away, but I did introduce myself and said to them to have a good night. Problem building value and transitioning from the opener.
Approach Bar #2:
Two girls are sitting on the sofa.
Me: You realize its been an hour since I walked through here and you are still in the same spot?
HB5: We were sober, we are trying to get drunk.
Me: What are you drinking?
HB5: Martini
Me: good choice
Through body language they had b1tch shields up. And once again, I need to work on my transitioning to something else.
Approach Bar #3:
At the bar. Two girls come up. HB9 and HB8. Stand right next to me as I order a drink. I drank coke all night long. Trying to get away from alcohole, as liquid courage.
I look over at one and touch her hair.
Me: Wow, what do you use? You hair is so soft.
HB9: Nothing.
Me: BS, there is no way you can have that and use nothing.
HB9: Its natural, that is why it feels like that, because I use all natural
Me: You got a point.
I do the same thing to her friend.
Me: Man, you too?
After that I walk away and I can see them talking among each other. I have no idea what they said, but I don’t care. No transition. Work on that.
Approach Bar #4:
I stand next to 2 older middle age women and one guy with them. I look at her and smile. She smiles back.
Me: Hi
HB6: You here by yourself?
Me: (bs) No, I’m with friends, they are off somewhere and I am the designated driver
HB6: What are you drinking
Me: Coke.
HB6: Good for you
Me: You?
HB6: Her drink choice
Me: Good for you.
After that we go on a conversation that lasts pretty much for about 20-30 minutes. I get introduced to her 2 friends and up until I leave I talk to them and stand in their little group. When I leave I hug the two women and shake the guys hand and head home.
Tough uncomfortable night with a lot of progress. Got to go through this in order to succeed. Failure isn’t an option my friends. Not anymore. No excuses.
Key Factors:
Improve on:
Cold Approach: 1 (18/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 20/50 Hellos
I'm feeling one-itis today. Its been four weeks. This is normal right, after four weeks? I am kind of down on myself and is thinking of my ex. It has been a bit tough today in that sense. I am still getting over it, but damnit, I want this feeling to be completely gone. No, there is no way I will contact her, don't you guys worry about it.
Drill and Kill. I like that. Thanks for the feedback man. I need it. I do enjoy approaching or else I wouldn't do it. It is still uncomortable at most times.
FR: Attracton to Comfort Building with Older Women
Went to engagement party. One women was quiet taken by me, she was for a little while but this is the first time I spend time talking to her. She knows me through where I work. She used to work there. I met her once previously, but I had a g/f at the time. She is a looker. HB7.5. Nice set up on top. She is older in her late 30s, early 40s.
Everything went great. She is a touch person = good sign. Made her laugh, teased her. I build up a lot of value.
2 hours later I walked her to her car,
Me: I had a lot of fun, I want to see you again. Let me get your number
She started to write her number down.
Me: Are you free on saturdays and sundays?
Her: I'm a busy women, I like to keep busy. Keeps me out of my head.
Me:" I know what you mean, I'm similar"
Her: Yeah? I like to play, I play alot, are you down to play.
Me: I love to play
Her: bye
Me: bye
What? Play = sex. I take it. Now how do I make that transition? I don't have any experience in doing that. Do I take her somewhere for a couple of drinks? Then go from there? What do I do and how do I take those next steps to her bed? When do I call? When do I set soemthing up? and How do I escalate? -- Problems
I got advice from other forum and one guy who has a lot of experience with this told me to
“You could have had sex after that conversation. Now that you haven't, wait until next wednesday and call her: "Hey this is Alex, you free to play on Friday night? I'll pick you up for some drinks" If she says she is busy, tell her she has your number and she can call you when she is free. Older women don't like BS. Hit her hard or leave the ball in her court and leave. trust me, I have a lot of experience in this.”
I will probably end up doing that. I’m not sure why to wait that long, but I have no experience and that guy has had a lot of it.
FR: Approach #18 Bar (midnight – 2am) – total of 4 approaches but will count as 1
This was the most discomforting time I have had yet. I have to put myself out there and endure through this discomfort. I went to the bar by myself. Doing that I think took a lot of balls alone. It’s a tough venue, meat market at prime time. Tough for me because I have not done something like that ever before. I’ve been to bars, but usually with friends or my ex g/f. Not with intention to game. Wow, was it tough, but I really enjoyed it and tried stuff out. B1tich shields were full blast and it made it more challenging.
I want to mention I enjoy doing this. But through social and mental conditioning that I held previously I feel extremely uncomfortable in such social situations. Once I get used I tend to become the guy people want to be around. Its like when you get to know someone you see there true potential come out, but before they are just too damn shy. That’s me. So this is tough for me but I am going to keep doing this until it is second nature.
Approach Bar #1:
Standing next to 3 girls. HB8, HB7, HB8. Band was playing full blast and I couldn’t really say much. Inbetween songs, I turned to them.
Me: Did you know this band was on Jay Leno?
HB8: Really?
Me: Yeah, but they ended up being cut out.
HB7: (joining in) What?
HB8: This band was in Jay Leno
HB7: Really?
Me: Yes. As soon as they found out the band does only cover songs, they cut the segment out. But they still played.
HB8: Wow, that’s impressive.
Song started. Loud again. Some guy was walking by and used a cheesy ass line to one of the girls.
Me: What did he say to you?
HB8: He said “you are the most beautiful girl here”.
Me: Because that works all the time
HB8: I know, its like let me give you my number right now!
After that, there wasn’t much I did. Few minutes later I walked away, but I did introduce myself and said to them to have a good night. Problem building value and transitioning from the opener.
Approach Bar #2:
Two girls are sitting on the sofa.
Me: You realize its been an hour since I walked through here and you are still in the same spot?
HB5: We were sober, we are trying to get drunk.
Me: What are you drinking?
HB5: Martini
Me: good choice
Through body language they had b1tch shields up. And once again, I need to work on my transitioning to something else.
Approach Bar #3:
At the bar. Two girls come up. HB9 and HB8. Stand right next to me as I order a drink. I drank coke all night long. Trying to get away from alcohole, as liquid courage.
I look over at one and touch her hair.
Me: Wow, what do you use? You hair is so soft.
HB9: Nothing.
Me: BS, there is no way you can have that and use nothing.
HB9: Its natural, that is why it feels like that, because I use all natural
Me: You got a point.
I do the same thing to her friend.
Me: Man, you too?
After that I walk away and I can see them talking among each other. I have no idea what they said, but I don’t care. No transition. Work on that.
Approach Bar #4:
I stand next to 2 older middle age women and one guy with them. I look at her and smile. She smiles back.
Me: Hi
HB6: You here by yourself?
Me: (bs) No, I’m with friends, they are off somewhere and I am the designated driver
HB6: What are you drinking
Me: Coke.
HB6: Good for you
Me: You?
HB6: Her drink choice
Me: Good for you.
After that we go on a conversation that lasts pretty much for about 20-30 minutes. I get introduced to her 2 friends and up until I leave I talk to them and stand in their little group. When I leave I hug the two women and shake the guys hand and head home.
Tough uncomfortable night with a lot of progress. Got to go through this in order to succeed. Failure isn’t an option my friends. Not anymore. No excuses.
Key Factors:
- I tend to do good on openers
- Smile a lot more
- I try not to be the googling guy who stares at women and they think he is creepy. I check them out, but I try not to do so where it looks desprate and needy
- I’m growing more balls to approach
- More kino then ever before.
Improve on:
- Transitioning from opener to attraction and comfort building. Showing value and enjoying the interaction. Happened a few times.
- Show more sexual, horny side. I seem too uncomfortable in my skin. That makes me less confident and body language shows that.
Cold Approach: 1 (18/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 20/50 Hellos
hey Bourne, good progress man. Anyways, I'm not an expert or DJ by any means, but I noticed a lot of your interactions end quickly due to your closed ended questions. These questions will result in 1 word answers and you don't have much to build on after that.
I read this book called "Conversationally Speaking" and it's really helpful. It talks about open ended questions and how to use gestures and stuff to hold a conversation with people. Check it out if you have time.
I read this book called "Conversationally Speaking" and it's really helpful. It talks about open ended questions and how to use gestures and stuff to hold a conversation with people. Check it out if you have time.
It is really cool to see how people progress in their blogs. Like someone above said, you are doing something that 98% of other guys out there aren't doing and it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to feel uncomfortable. As the great philosopher once said, "If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain". (Wait...Dolly Parton isn't a philosopher?)
Saturday – Tuesday 4.8.2006-4.11.2006
Saturday – Tuesday 4.8.2006-4.11.2006
Thanks for the support Audity, Hurrican, Potbelly and krsone. I've read some of my last few days and I can see progress. I also am seeing my social circle expand, alot. I've had people call me know wanting to hang out with me. That NEVER happened before.
Later tonight, the 3 girls I was talking to and laughing, teasing, getting to know on saturday night. One of them called me up and invited me to come with all three of them to some sort of get together. I'm going to go.
Not much in approaches but very if not hugely successful in building up my social circle and friends. I met around 6-8 new people this weekend from school and build a rather strong connection with 3 girls, all three are very close friends. They are gorgeous and I am actually not looking to be with any of them. One I can see a good relationship potential but I don’t want to go there. I love their company and if I have to become friends with them, let it be. That will just help me with social proof and I will know more girls because of them, because they have been introducing me to others.
Saturday 4.8.2006
Early morning went to the beach with friends. Building my social circle, making it grow larger and I’m putting myself out there.
I was invited to a house party on campus. That is where I socialized for the majority of the time. Acquired new friends and got to hang out with 3 girls, which was great change from the norm. I was on fire, I kinoed like I have never done before. Talked non-stop about everything.
Most important thing I’m realizing is being able to listen and genuinely and sincerely be interested in other people. I was really interested in what other people had to say and I think Saturday night was a turning point for me in that sense. I care about others and I am interested in their lives. Juggler would be proud. Don’t get me wrong, I teased the hell out of everyone, made them laugh. I knew I had such ability and EVERYONE has once you get to know them, but the hard part is opening up before they get to know you. That is where approaching comes in.
Monday 4.10.2006
I was waiting to call MILF on around Wednesday and see if she wanted to get together on Friday night. Well, she called me around 9 today and invited me to go kayaking on Saturday morning. We shall see how that turns out.
Also I want to say, that on Saturday and Sunday I was feeling rather down because I didn’t approach. Then I sat back and evaluated why I felt that way. I am sort of seeking validation from others by approaching them. If they turn me down or not doesn’t matter, its that I do approach. That is why I taking few days off and realizing that my confidence and self-esteem doesnot has to be depended on if I approach or not. And no, I’m not stopping. I’ve been making huge leaps in my social circle and gaining new friends since Saturday, I really can’t believe how far I have come in last few days.
Being comfortable in your own skin and working on being your GREAT BEST self.
Tuesday 4.11.2006
Made few more acquaintances by listening to a conversation between two people and jumping in by making a comment. From there I just talked with them like I was their friend. Assume you have known them and you are friends. Assume attraction. This really works.
I also found Approach Girl # 14 on facebook. I added her to my friend list and we chatted through comments very briefly. I’m still deciding if I should follow up on her to do something.
Approach Girl # 17, the one that worked in Dunkin Donuts. I stopped by there to see if she was working. She wasn’t. I asked her employees when next time she does, they couldn’t give me that info. I’ll stop by there in next few days.
Cold Approach: 0 (18/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 25/50 Hellos
Saturday – Tuesday 4.8.2006-4.11.2006
Thanks for the support Audity, Hurrican, Potbelly and krsone. I've read some of my last few days and I can see progress. I also am seeing my social circle expand, alot. I've had people call me know wanting to hang out with me. That NEVER happened before.
Later tonight, the 3 girls I was talking to and laughing, teasing, getting to know on saturday night. One of them called me up and invited me to come with all three of them to some sort of get together. I'm going to go.
Not much in approaches but very if not hugely successful in building up my social circle and friends. I met around 6-8 new people this weekend from school and build a rather strong connection with 3 girls, all three are very close friends. They are gorgeous and I am actually not looking to be with any of them. One I can see a good relationship potential but I don’t want to go there. I love their company and if I have to become friends with them, let it be. That will just help me with social proof and I will know more girls because of them, because they have been introducing me to others.
Saturday 4.8.2006
Early morning went to the beach with friends. Building my social circle, making it grow larger and I’m putting myself out there.
I was invited to a house party on campus. That is where I socialized for the majority of the time. Acquired new friends and got to hang out with 3 girls, which was great change from the norm. I was on fire, I kinoed like I have never done before. Talked non-stop about everything.
Most important thing I’m realizing is being able to listen and genuinely and sincerely be interested in other people. I was really interested in what other people had to say and I think Saturday night was a turning point for me in that sense. I care about others and I am interested in their lives. Juggler would be proud. Don’t get me wrong, I teased the hell out of everyone, made them laugh. I knew I had such ability and EVERYONE has once you get to know them, but the hard part is opening up before they get to know you. That is where approaching comes in.
Monday 4.10.2006
I was waiting to call MILF on around Wednesday and see if she wanted to get together on Friday night. Well, she called me around 9 today and invited me to go kayaking on Saturday morning. We shall see how that turns out.
Also I want to say, that on Saturday and Sunday I was feeling rather down because I didn’t approach. Then I sat back and evaluated why I felt that way. I am sort of seeking validation from others by approaching them. If they turn me down or not doesn’t matter, its that I do approach. That is why I taking few days off and realizing that my confidence and self-esteem doesnot has to be depended on if I approach or not. And no, I’m not stopping. I’ve been making huge leaps in my social circle and gaining new friends since Saturday, I really can’t believe how far I have come in last few days.
Being comfortable in your own skin and working on being your GREAT BEST self.
Tuesday 4.11.2006
Made few more acquaintances by listening to a conversation between two people and jumping in by making a comment. From there I just talked with them like I was their friend. Assume you have known them and you are friends. Assume attraction. This really works.
I also found Approach Girl # 14 on facebook. I added her to my friend list and we chatted through comments very briefly. I’m still deciding if I should follow up on her to do something.
Approach Girl # 17, the one that worked in Dunkin Donuts. I stopped by there to see if she was working. She wasn’t. I asked her employees when next time she does, they couldn’t give me that info. I’ll stop by there in next few days.
Cold Approach: 0 (18/100) since 03.25.06
DJ BootCamp Week 1: 25/50 Hellos
resilient
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2005
- Messages
- 1,706
- Reaction score
- 1,410
Bro, that's awesome. When you're a fun and outgoing guy that everyone would love to have around then your personality really starts to shine. These 3 girls took notice and are putting a good word in for you by introducing you to all their friends. Remember what I PMed you about social proof? It's like a ripple effect! Once you befriend a few people, they introduce you to their friends, and so forth. Then bam! You're mr. sosuave/dj. Keep it up bro. Once you really getting those plates spinning you can kick back and reap the harvest!Bourne said:
Heh, this thread has me pumped to start my own 100 approach journal. :woo: Speaking of Juggler, I'm taking his bootcamp in a few weeks to gain more confidence. Should be fun.keep it up man, I check your journal everyday! I am willing to bet you dont even get to a 100 before you find a hot girl that you will probably start dating. Happens to me and my PUA buddies all the time. Then we we break up and we start a new 100. You might want to check out David Deangelo, he is the best for inner game. His emails are too funny and very helpful. And trust me I have read it all!! Good luck
BR
BR
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
I hope I get this much support when I do my Journal this summer.
Anyway. Ketp those field reports coming.
. I found myself randomly talking to people. I feel inside me as I appoarch me and kill my fears. And I'm more mean to girls too. I don't look for their approvel anymore. 1 girl said I'm mean but she ketps on talking to me ( girls are so stupid ).
Anyway. Ketp those field reports coming.
Same here. This morning I asked this girl some questions and got in a 5 min convo. She still didn't seem to interested but wow I don't fear appoarching anymore. It's like gone
. I found myself randomly talking to people. I feel inside me as I appoarch me and kill my fears. And I'm more mean to girls too. I don't look for their approvel anymore. 1 girl said I'm mean but she ketps on talking to me ( girls are so stupid ).