"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Books on Conversing

kingxxxman

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2010
Messages
161
Reaction score
2
Sometimes i just don't know what to say.... or how to strike up a conversation. what are some good books on helping me be a great conversationalist?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2009
Messages
411
Reaction score
24
Location
Northern California
Converstions is a hard subject to learn from a book. You will learn a hell of a lot more from experience.

Just talking to people. But it takes a willingness to be extremely outgoing. You will need to take a step out of your comfort zone and dedicate yourself to consciously learning from each conversation.

Becoming a good conversationalist isn't easy. If you really wanna learn this, man up and take the steps necessary to learn what you want.

Good luck mate.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,801
Reaction score
10,037
Diaforetikos said:
Converstions is a hard subject to learn from a book. You will learn a hell of a lot more from experience.
I agree with Diaforetikos about that. But I've read a few things that I've found useful.

How to Make Great Conversation and Small Talk by Sean McPheat
and
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Actually, I only read part of the first book and I'm reading the second one now. I found the first book useful for something to think about when you get stuck in a conversation or about coming up with topics in general.

The second book isn't about conversation per se, but has a lot of principles for dealing with people that I've found useful in talking to people.

I am aware of a few other books on the topic but I haven't read them so I can't say anything about them:
The Art of Conversation and
How to Talk to Anyone
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,405
Reaction score
306
I would read a wide variety of newspapers and magazines. Like the Times, Wash Post, Economist, Atlantic Monthly, and National Review (know thy enemy). Maybe Sports Illustrated, Rolling Stone, Money Magazine, and Motor Trend too.

Cookbooks are really good if you want to talk to females. Most women talk about shopping, their kids/pets (depending on age), and food. Who cares about the first, you can nod politely about the second, and actually enjoy talking about the third.

Having something to talk about is more important than tips and techniques that some book will give you. Interact and you'll find those out for yourself. Also...listen. That's probably the most important part of talking, just listening.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top