"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Boasting about experience?

gav

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I really don't want to tell anyone that i got hooked up last nite, because sammo and others have said that if i keep it quiet, it will give me much greater motivation.

I don't think it's possible not to speak about it tho, because people WILL ask me. Should i just lie and say i didn't do anything last nite? For some reason, lying about something that is true and that i want others to know is really fvcking hard to do!

Perhaps its that i don't think my opinion matters, it's rather what others think about me. -Yeh i know i've heard all the stuff about not caring what others think about me etc, but it's really difficult.

Could it be that my identity is based on what others think?

So how could i turn this around and get an identity based on what i think?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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InLawsHateMe

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You know what dude... if you do it enough, you won't need to boast about it... it becomes kinda passe'. Thru time and experience, you become more of a... oh I dunno? ... a scholar. ;) ...and you then share your experiences to others who seek it. :)
 

JSH

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Dont bpast just keep it low key
 

NewMan

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Agreed low key - unless it's your close friends who saw you with the girls.

I talk about it to my close circle of friends - perhaps 4 guys in all.

Just out of interest:


********
Perhaps its that i don't think my opinion matters, it's rather what others think about me. -Yeh i know i've heard all the stuff about not caring what others think about me etc, but it's really difficult.

Could it be that my identity is based on what others think?

So how could i turn this around and get an identity based on what i think?

*********

It's about attitude and self confidence. Old story.

You REACT to others instead of ACTING.

You want other sto look to you. But you don't have confidence because you care what they think of you.

Leaders and Alpha's must be set apart from the pack. They do this by leading - by putting themselves out there and not following the herd. You ACT and do things on your terms when you want them.

Right now your not doing that. Your being led by others opinions of you.

Cut that sh#t out.
 

gav

Master Don Juan
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thx guys, i appreciate it

something i keep remembering now and again: do it 4 u, not 4 them

chars, gav
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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