Blackpill reality is female reality

[CheekyMonkey101]

Oh I want my husband dear. I have very high desire for him. Tarzan goes after Jane in the jungle dear. Not the other way around. But you keep going the lazy feminine energy route.

Hope it works out for you.

Cheers.

It's not feminine, it's just knowing what works and not wasting your time.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ok. So you do not approach women right? They approach you?

You do not ask a woman on a date? You expect her to ask you?

Does she plan the date? Does she pick you up and pick up the tab?

So you refuse to make any effort at all, no investment, all you have to do is say yes?

If the answers are yes to those questions? That is not masculine energy.

It is passive & feminine & a turn off to a frminine gal who wants a manly man.

If you are a model or pro athlete or celebrity or a "Chad" type then that's plausible. But you'll get bored & drop these girls when someone comes along who is interesting enough for you to invest in.

Until then I don't think you have much experience with women....good quality beautiful women don't act that way, sorry.

By all means, have the last word. I will say that I do not see you offering advice to others on various threads.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Ok. So you do not approach women right? They approach you?

You do not ask a woman on a date? You expect her to ask you?

Does she plan the date? Does she pick you up and pick up the tab?

So you refuse to make any effort at all, no investment, all you have to do is say yes?

If the answers are yes to those questions? That is not masculine energy.

It is passive & feminine & a turn off to a frminine gal who wants a manly man.

If you are a model or pro athlete or celebrity or a "Chad" type then that's plausible. But you'll get bored & drop these girls when someone comes along who is interesting enough for you to invest in.

Until then I don't think you have much experience with women....good quality beautiful women don't act that way, sorry.

By all means, have the last word. I will say that I do not see you offering advice to others on various threads.

They approach me at bars or the gym. If I approach it's harassment but I'll be the one to plan the meets. I'm not putting in much effort other than that.

I've never approached as it won't go well anyway.

Again, I want women to be attracted to me. If I have to put in a lot work, then I really can't be bothered as the juice isn't worth it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But why would I want a woman who isn't attracted to me?

Should you get the urge to become a self-taught mortician, like so https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Laurence_Marquette , gals who find you less appealing than the thought of a DIY hysterectomy in somebody's garage just might be an ideal option. Attraction isn't likely a pre-req for such activity

 

[Sega Genesis]

Nah, I'm good. I'll continue to date women who actually want me...

^^As well you should!

To me there is a big difference between "pursuing" and "chasing" and I agree with you @CheekyMonkey101 it's never wise to "chase."

For either gender!

I don't have time to put this into my own words but the differences are discussed all over the internet!

I typically dislike AI but I found this relevant.

>>Pursuing and chasing are both verbs that involve going after something, but they carry different connotations and imply different approaches.

Pursuing generally implies a more intentional and respectful effort towards achieving a goal or building a relationship. It suggests a deliberate and thoughtful approach, focusing on showing genuine interest and making conscious efforts. Pursuing can be described as patient and showing interest without being rushed. It also implies an abundance mindset, where one is okay regardless of the outcome and sees it as an opportunity to get to know someone.

Chasing, on the other hand, often suggests desperation, neediness, and a lack of self-respect. It can involve over-investment, one-sided effort, and a tendency to ignore glaring incompatibilities. Chasing can be seen as having a scarcity mindset, where one feels they need the other person or goal to be complete. This approach can lead to a loss of self-worth and a focus on the person rather than the desired outcome.<<

That said in today's dating environment there IS a way for a woman to participate in "pursuing" a man and relationship without coming off as having masculine energy and being an aggressive ball-buster.

A smart savvy "feminine" woman understands that balance versus passively waiting for her man (or any man) to make all the effort. In my opinion and experience.

I've done it and still do it with my boyfriend! HE still LEADS and makes the majority of efforr, but I'm not a passive observer/responder but rather an equal participate albeit in different ways.

And boy does he appreciate it! And it pulls him closer.

As well as every other long term boyfriend I've ever had!

It sounds like this is what you may be experiencing @CheekyMonkey101 ?

You're 31 so I assume you date women in their 20s?

Yes in my experience many young woman (not all) are stepping away from the stereotypical "feminine" role and realizing she can take some initiative in her girly feminine way and not appear masculine and a ball buster.

It's about balance but Cheeky YOU need to make that effort too! Not all but some.
.
Ask her out, plan a fun date! Make your interest known!

There IS a way for you to do that even approaching without coming off like some sort of sexual predator who is harassing her!

If she doesn't positively respond move on!

Do NOT chase! Ever.

If she does respond, observe to see if she's putting forth some effort.

For me personally I do not want a man doing all the initating or even all the pursuing, that would bore me to death!

I want to be able to contribute and when I'm highly interested I will!

My femininity comes from my essence and how I go about making such effort.

Never aggressive or pushy but quiety and gently.

Balance.

But again Cheeky you need to do something!

Otherwise you're gonna end up with a needy insecure girl with low standards.

Your call.

 

[Prepostereax]

The exchange between BE & CM is amusing.
You are both correct..
Because you are talking about two different kinds of women.

BE is talking about strategies to pursue a keeper, for the purposes of LTR

CM is all about efficiency in getting a ONS-grade hottie to ride you..

I suspect that many SS members are more interested in the latter, some may even have zero interest in the former, having already been burnt
{it could be argued that's because they mistook their hoe as wife material}

Of course, BE & CM could still be discussing the very same woman - in different mindsets.

Women think with their logical brain when it comes to LTR's
..and with their primal instincts when they want to experience a man inside her, tonight.

Women are both calculating and impulsive?
Which is it?

It's something I witnessed at a recent social event:
The single hottie in our group, an ex-cheerleader Stacylite, bemoaning how her crush, Chadlite, had failed to pick up her cues to ask her out.
The attached girls egg Stacylite to be proactive, but there's no way she'll act directly, "out of pride".
Minutes later, in walks a tall studly stranger. Tyrone.
This time, it takes very little egging-on for Stacylite to cold-approach him, wrap her arms around his neck and massage his shoulders, batting her eyes and leading with suggestive questions.
Tyrone's investment is minimal, other than looking like a hunk.
Chances are that within the hour, Stacylite smoked his pipe in the backseat of his Subaru..

is this blackpill?
It speaks more of morals and values.
Character.

Character can be defined as the ability to control one's urges.
A person with low libido would not need much control to present as possessing decent character.
On the other hand, a very passionate person will require excellent command of their base nature.

It's a crucial quality for LTR, but less so for a plate, and downright detrimental for a ONS.

This is where the difference in approach comes into play, finding someone who matches our energy, and whether that's for one night or for a lifetime.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Minutes later, in walks a tall studly stranger. Tyrone

Wearing a dusty black coat, and sporting a red right hand

 

[BeExcellent]

The exchange between BE & CM is amusing.
You are both correct..
Because you are talking about two different kinds of women.

BE is talking about strategies to pursue a keeper, for the purposes of LTR

CM is all about efficiency in getting a ONS-grade hottie to ride you..

I suspect that many SS members are more interested in the latter, some may even have zero interest in the former, having already been burnt
{it could be argued that's because they mistook their hoe as wife material}

Of course, BE & CM could still be discussing the very same woman - in different mindsets.

Women think with their logical brain when it comes to LTR's
..and with their primal instincts when they want to experience a man inside her, tonight.

Women are both calculating and impulsive?
Which is it?

It's something I witnessed at a recent social event:
The single hottie in our group, an ex-cheerleader Stacylite, bemoaning how her crush, Chadlite, had failed to pick up her cues to ask her out.
The attached girls egg Stacylite to be proactive, but there's no way she'll act directly, "out of pride".
Minutes later, in walks a tall studly stranger. Tyrone.
This time, it takes very little egging-on for Stacylite to cold-approach him, wrap her arms around his neck and massage his shoulders, batting her eyes and leading with suggestive questions.
Tyrone's investment is minimal, other than looking like a hunk.
Chances are that within the hour, Stacylite smoked his pipe in the backseat of his Subaru..

is this blackpill?
It speaks more of morals and values.
Character.

Character can be defined as the ability to control one's urges.
A person with low libido would not need much control to present as possessing decent character.
On the other hand, a very passionate person will require excellent command of their base nature.

It's a crucial quality for LTR, but less so for a plate, and downright detrimental for a ONS.

This is where the difference in approach comes into play, finding someone who matches our energy, and whether that's for one night or for a lifetime.

Agreed. A nice summary you gave. The problem often arises when a man who is used to "easy" girls and getting laid without too much effort changes his goal from ONS/STR to LTR/marriage. This typically happens at some point in the man's life. And that is when he gets disillusioned.

Why?

The methods our OP uses now to passively accept women who pursue him simply will not work with the type of women well suited to LTR/marriage.

He will observe that first hand in time.

Cheers!

 

[SW15]

The problem often arises when a man who is used to "easy" girls and getting laid without too much effort changes his goal from ONS/STR to LTR/marriage. This typically happens at some point in the man's life.

I have been more relationship oriented than short term sex oriented in most of my adult life.

I've had to be the initiator of everything.

My initiation burden may have been lighter had I possessed more of a top tier physique.

It is common for a man to desire pair bonding in the form of LTRs/marriages at some point in life. Most men encounter this point somewhere between ages 32-40 if they make it into their 30s without having previously had this motivation.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

^^As well you should!

To me there is a big difference between "pursuing" and "chasing" and I agree with you @CheekyMonkey101 it's never wise to "chase."

For either gender!

I don't have time to put this into my own words but the differences are discussed all over the internet!

I typically dislike AI but I found this relevant.

>>Pursuing and chasing are both verbs that involve going after something, but they carry different connotations and imply different approaches.

Pursuing generally implies a more intentional and respectful effort towards achieving a goal or building a relationship. It suggests a deliberate and thoughtful approach, focusing on showing genuine interest and making conscious efforts. Pursuing can be described as patient and showing interest without being rushed. It also implies an abundance mindset, where one is okay regardless of the outcome and sees it as an opportunity to get to know someone.

Chasing, on the other hand, often suggests desperation, neediness, and a lack of self-respect. It can involve over-investment, one-sided effort, and a tendency to ignore glaring incompatibilities. Chasing can be seen as having a scarcity mindset, where one feels they need the other person or goal to be complete. This approach can lead to a loss of self-worth and a focus on the person rather than the desired outcome.<<

That said in today's dating environment there IS a way for a woman to participate in "pursuing" a man and relationship without coming off as having masculine energy and being an aggressive ball-buster.

A smart savvy "feminine" woman understands that balance versus passively waiting for her man (or any man) to make all the effort. In my opinion and experience.

I've done it and still do it with my boyfriend! HE still LEADS and makes the majority of efforr, but I'm not a passive observer/responder but rather an equal participate albeit in different ways.

And boy does he appreciate it! And it pulls him closer.

As well as every other long term boyfriend I've ever had!

It sounds like this is what you may be experiencing @CheekyMonkey101 ?

You're 31 so I assume you date women in their 20s?

Yes in my experience many young woman (not all) are stepping away from the stereotypical "feminine" role and realizing she can take some initiative in her girly feminine way and not appear masculine and a ball buster.

It's about balance but Cheeky YOU need to make that effort too! Not all but some.
.
Ask her out, plan a fun date! Make your interest known!

There IS a way for you to do that even approaching without coming off like some sort of sexual predator who is harassing her!

If she doesn't positively respond move on!

Do NOT chase! Ever.

If she does respond, observe to see if she's putting forth some effort.

For me personally I do not want a man doing all the initating or even all the pursuing, that would bore me to death!

I want to be able to contribute and when I'm highly interested I will!

My femininity comes from my essence and how I go about making such effort.

Never aggressive or pushy but quiety and gently.

Balance.

But again Cheeky you need to do something!

Otherwise you're gonna end up with a needy insecure girl with low standards.

Your call.

I do make some effort, but one thing I've noticed is that women go after the men they truly want. I'll suggest meeting up/doing things, but if I get a hint of no or low interest I'm out.

That's why I don't cold approach as I see it as pointless other than boosting her ego. If they like you don't need to cold approach.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I do make some effort, but one thing I've noticed is that women go after the men they truly want.

High interest women will be "responsive" to the men they want. And in my experience will put forth at least some effort herself.

My feeling is you're in this together and as such a "give and take" approach is best. Or rather a "give and give" approach.

I'm referring to when a man is seeking a LTR.

Women who "go after" or "chase" you, how has that worked out for you?

If your goal is seducing only, has it gotten you laid?

If so good for you! Far be it for me to argue with what works for you.

I agree with what @Prepostereax wrote about the difference in strategies for ONS/casual NSA versus LTR.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

High interest women will be "responsive" to the men they want. And in my experience will put forth at least some effort herself.

My feeling is you're in this together and as such a "give and take" approach is best. Or rather a "give and give" approach.

I'm referring to when a man is seeking a LTR.

Women who "go after" or "chase" you, how has that worked out for you?

If your goal is seducing only, has it gotten you laid?

If so good for you! Far be it for me to argue with what works for you.

I agree with what @Prepostereax wrote about the difference in strategies for ONS/casual NSA versus LTR.

Relationships tend to last much longer and my FWBs have all been through this dynamic.