"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bit of a situation need some advice

Matt Rogers

Master Don Juan
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Hi,
There is a halls of residence disco and a really hot girl who I have had a few dates with is going. We are not a couple yet, and are not explicitly going together, as it is more of a "go with your flatmates kinda thing"

but the arrangement is that we will see each other there at some point in the evening and dance and have a few drinks together.

Anyway, this is all screwed up as my friends are fighting and refusing to go with each other and pissed off with me for not taking sides. All of them are upset and not in the mood for going to the disco. I cannot invite any of my other friends as it is for our hall of residence only.

It is possible I will recognise some of the people there and join their groups, but otherwise I will probably be on my own other than the times I am dancing with the girl, which sorta ruins my social proof and makes me look like a loner.

How do you recommend I adapt to this situation. I am loath to go alone as it might involve me clinging on a bit with this girl, when I would rather play it cool and give her a few dances rather than staying with her the whole evening?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Matt Rogers

Master Don Juan
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I have had a little thought and I could probably arrange for a friend to come along to have a few drinks and to go back to if things aren't going really well with the hottie. That way when I see her I am not alone, plus it means I have a fall back option so I don't commit myself to spending the evening with her, so I can leave while I am ahead.

My plan was to turn up an hour late and have a few drinks with my friend rather than go look for her. Then I will go and find her (by which time she will have got bored of hanging out with her flatmates) and ask her if she wants to dance. I will spin her around a bit and get some kino and poss a kiss in and then suggest we go to the sofas where it is quieter and talk.

If things aren't going as planned I can always piss off with my friend.
What do you think
 

Matt Rogers

Master Don Juan
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I have had a little thought and I could probably arrange for a friend to come along to have a few drinks and to go back to if things aren't going really well with the hottie. That way when I see her I am not alone, plus it means I have a fall back option so I don't commit myself to spending the evening with her, so I can leave while I am ahead.

My plan was to turn up an hour late and have a few drinks with my friend rather than go look for her. Then I will go and find her (by which time she will have got bored of hanging out with her flatmates) and ask her if she wants to dance. I will spin her around a bit and get some kino and poss a kiss in and then suggest we go to the sofas where it is quieter and talk.

If things aren't going as planned I can always piss off with my friend.
What do you think
 

DJDamage

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JUST GO ALONE! show up really really late maybe an hour and half before closing time, and sit at the bar and have a drink.

If the hotchick sees you then just tell her " hey I just came back from a lousy date and I broke things up between me and her, so I am hear to party" or something at that nature.

This will show her that you a) you are wanted by other women and you are not a pushover b) you are not discourged by setbacks and always in the mood to party c) You are not afraid to go alone and have a good time.

Get her number already and stop beating around the bush waiting for the perfect timing because you are running out of it.
 

Matt Rogers

Master Don Juan
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Have her number. Have already been out on two dates with her. Was looking to have a few dances, get a first kiss in and maybe more.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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