"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Big Thanks to guys on DJ forum

Trail Mix-A-Lot

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All,

So far I've been more of a lurker than a contributor. This forum continues to be a huge help as I move forward. Without getting into the boring details, more-or-less every female relationship I've had, including a marriage, has ended in disaster. The one common thread in all the failures has been AFC behavior and utter lack of confidence on my part. My most recent debacle really pulled the rug out from under me. I'm still recovering from it. It's taken every ounce determination I have to refrain from contacting this chick.

It's been amazing to see how changing my AFC habits have made an insane difference in all aspects of my life. You guys are dead right about everything. It is a little scary to start life at 38 though.

Thanks!

T.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJDamage

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Trail Mix-A-Lot said:
Without getting into the boring details, more-or-less every female relationship I've had, including a marriage, has ended in disaster. The one common thread in all the failures has been AFC behavior and utter lack of confidence on my part. My most recent debacle really pulled the rug out from under me. I'm still recovering from it.
Actually the details of your story are not boring, its what makes sosuave great because we can learn from each others mistakes. If you have the time to post all your story in great detail, it would be beneficial for everyone here to read and may also help you out too.
 

MikeYikes122

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DJDamage said:
Actually the details of your story are not boring, its what makes sosuave great because we can learn from each others mistakes. If you have the time to post all your story in great detail, it would be beneficial for everyone here to read and may also help you out too.
I agree. I love reading people's stories. I almost started a thread for this last week.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jophil28

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Trail Mix-A-Lot said:
All,

It is a little scary to start life at 38 though.

Thanks!

T.
Nah !
Mike - I started my conversion at 50 so you ,at 38, are 12 years ahaed of me.
Enjoy your new life and have fun with women.

BTW - do NOT contact that last disaster. Start over with a fresh one.
Perhaps some day, you will run into your most recent ex and you could 'game ' her. You need lots of practice before you could do that successfully .
Congrats on seeing the light...
 

STR8UP

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My exit from the matrix began when I was in my late 20's - early 30's, but even if i were just starting now at 36 it would be a positive step that would change my life for the better.

It's never too late. NEVER.
 

Aenigma

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STR8UP said:
My exit from the matrix began when I was in my late 20's - early 30's, but even if i were just starting now at 36 it would be a positive step that would change my life for the better.

It's never too late. NEVER.
When did you get started with business and investing STR8UP?
 

STR8UP

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Aenigma said:
When did you get started with business and investing STR8UP?
Early-mid 20's.

My transition from THAT matrix began earlier. It's possible that early realization about money helped me in my understanding of the other matrix, the one we speak of here.
 

Knight's Cross

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Trail,
Good on Ya, unplugging is just as hard as Officer school was to me.
Keep us posted. DO NOT GET AFC and take it from your last..A friend of mine told me today that he thought the reason I stayed in my last relationship was because I didn't BELIEVE I deserved better. So true...stupid, but true. So my advice...don't do it. You be the prize. Believe it. Become it.
KC
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

joekerr31

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Trail Mix-A-Lot said:
It's been amazing to see how changing my AFC habits have made an insane difference in all aspects of my life. You guys are dead right about everything. It is a little scary to start life at 38 though.
please please please, whatever you do, CHANGE your attitude that you are 'starting' life at 38. you aren't.

you are starting down a new path, but you would never have found this path if you hadn't gone down whatever path you had for the previous 38 years.

i know a lot of guys find it empowering to frame things as 'starting over', but i think thats a big mistake. they like to see it as cutting lose of their past - as though their past was a bad thing.

but your past is NEVER a bad thing. for better or worse, its what got you HERE. be thankful you had that past and that it lead you here.

life is an interesting journey, and most of it is spend lost and confused. many spend it so until their dying day.

so look back on your past with appreciation that it was an essential part of the journey. those years were not wasted, they were simply the first half of your journey.

now you're entering the second half of yoru journey - and from the sounds of it, it looks like the latter half is going to be quite interesting :)
 

MikeYikes122

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joekerr31 said:
please please please, whatever you do, CHANGE your attitude that you are 'starting' life at 38. you aren't.

you are starting down a new path, but you would never have found this path if you hadn't gone down whatever path you had for the previous 38 years.

i know a lot of guys find it empowering to frame things as 'starting over', but i think thats a big mistake. they like to see it as cutting lose of their past - as though their past was a bad thing.

but your past is NEVER a bad thing. for better or worse, its what got you HERE. be thankful you had that past and that it lead you here.

life is an interesting journey, and most of it is spend lost and confused. many spend it so until their dying day.

so look back on your past with appreciation that it was an essential part of the journey. those years were not wasted, they were simply the first half of your journey.

now you're entering the second half of yoru journey - and from the sounds of it, it looks like the latter half is going to be quite interesting :)
I agree with you Joe.

I'm a lot younger than him, but I used to be embarrassed of my past like that and thought of my AFC days as almost a completely different life. I never told anyone about them and used to try to not even think about them. My real name isn't even Mike, I just made created this handle because I didn't even want anyone on here to know what my real name was four years ago when I made the account.

I've since learned that frame isn't the correct one. I think about my past now and talk about it if someone asks. It's nice to know that my biggest issues are behind me.

At 38, that is still a comforting feeling/thought. You're not even halfway through life and you've solved or at least started solving your biggest issue.
 
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It is good to hear that 30-somethings are getting out of the hor/homo Matrix!!! Flee!!!!

There is a war on the masculine male!!! If you want to overcome - embrace manhood and reject the hor and the effeminate male!!!
 
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