Bi Polar Disorder

[Glassguy]

For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "

 

[soulforge]

For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "

Lol cap bro... Chicks are bought up on a diet of romantic movies.. So they are living out a romantic scene from a romantic movie.

Expressing her undying love for you, while in the same breath she is ditching you.

You think she wants to be out in the streets on her lonesome again?

No she is probably working on lining up the next Glassguy!

Look at her actions.. not the pretty little words in her letter.

And why did you move in with a Bipolar chick this soon. That's something you should be considering maybe 1•5 years down the line

 

[soulforge]

Bro Bipolar, single mom, and you moved her in. Godamn!!!

 

[soulforge]

"Sorry for the terrible things I did to you"

"I absolutely loved you"

Complete and utter contradictions!

 

[Glassguy]

I don't disagree brother

 

[Serenity]

Is this a thing with people who are bi polar?

Maybe, maybe not. Could just be general trust issues based on previous experiences that she described to you and it's hard to shake the feeling.

I would just calmly keep to the truth and if she sabotages herself, then that's just what happens, your conscience is clean at least.

 

[Glassguy]

Maybe, maybe not. Could just be general trust issues based on previous experiences that she described to you and it's hard to shake the feeling.

I would just calmly keep to the truth and if she sabotages herself, then that's just what happens, your conscience is clean at least.

I did that for 3 weeks until I figured out how to access the history of texts and call logs to physically show her I was 100% innocent of the accusations made against me. On 2 occasions I got pretty defensive. But I was tired of explaining myself

 

[Glassguy]

I drove by her ex husband's place late this evening and her vehicle was there.
So there is the answer.
Thats a wrap. Hopefully my experience will help someone who might be in a similar situation at some point

 

[soulforge]

I drove by her ex husband's place late this evening and her vehicle was there.
So there is the answer.
Thats a wrap. Hopefully my experience will help someone who might be in a similar situation at some point

Sorry to hear that man.

That's rough. Honestly getting involved with girls who still have a connection to the ex and the ex still wants her, is always a risky venture. Especially when she has kids with him.

 

[FlirtLife]

I didn't talk to my girlfriends ex husband (well now she is my ex gf). He started talking to this crazy chick that I hooked up with long before my gf came along. The crazy chick I hooked up with BEFORE ever meeting my gf told my gf's ex that I had continued to message her until March, when my gf and I started dating in late November. Which was a lie that I disputed over and over. Until I finally proved to her Friday night with my text/phone logs through my wireless provider.

My bad - I read "Told him that I used her for sex"[1] as something you said, when crazy ex-gf was doing the telling.

She should have had stricter boundaries with her ex husband, which she vowed to do 2 weeks ago when I found out that these lies were coming from him through him talking to the crazy chick I hooked up with before my gf came along.

Good call, but considering she's bi-polar, this may be the tip of the iceberg on boundary issues.


[1]

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and the woman I blocked started talking to my gf's ex. Told him that I used her for sex (which I clearly stated my intentions with her and we only hooked up once) and said that we had texted all the way until March of this year, which is a lie. Nevertheless, my gf's ex made it a point to pass along that info to my gf.

 

[soulforge]

My bad - I read "Told him that I used her for sex"[1] as something you said, when crazy ex-gf was doing the telling.


Good call, but considering she's bi-polar, this may be the tip of the iceberg on boundary issues.


[1]

Bipolar girls BPD etc are not good with boundaries and tend to be quite impulsive.

 

[MtmVaott]

I met a gril like that. Was very desperate because she yearned to feel loved. Step father must have secretely hated her. Real father dead from young age. Very hot. Very, very low on empathy. Manipulative, more than an average "poor quality" woman. Told me not to feel a certain way. Very superficial in the way that I could not really see "her", just a shell of "nice" behaviour.

OP, I am 99% certain that woman meant everything she said. She didn't contradict herself. Look, women like that can bend their minds endlessly. They mean what they say, even if it looks unlogical from the outside. She will now live with her ex and still you remain her "soulmate". It's just how they are.

 

[soulforge]

Looks like she copy+pasted this from the Romantic Stalker Playbook.

It is killing me > drama
honestly > everything else was dishonest
with my kids > tacked onto the sentence as an afterthought, but just let me remind you the kids are leaving too
any woman in the world > standard claptrap, "any woman but me"
I want to apologise > not the same as an apology, just that she desired to do the right thing.
I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes > I get infatuated at the drop of a hat
my head tells me this, but my heart tells me that > I'm schizophrenic about my feelings.
truly love you with all my heart > more bovine feces - you don't leave someone you truly love
until we meet again someday > basically a stalking threat: you'll be on the back burner if my current/next situation doesn't work out.

You summed this up well.

Something I have come to realise is, getting through an LTR in current times is difficult enough with a relatively healthy/sane person, with the dating market being the way it is in our current times.

Throw in a personality disorder/mental health issues/depression etc and medication & you just made your life way way more complicated & the breakup more likely to be inevitable.

 

[soulforge]

Exactly. I'm not looking for LTR, but you don't want to have to put up with unnecessary drama.

Like I stated before, I counsel people with C-PTSD, mainly women. Maybe 1 out of 10 would be dateable (but I don't date them anyway), the other 9 would be a disaster for anyone who doesn't understand how their twisted minds work.
You may not want to hear this, but many borderline women feel bad and have fluctuating self-esteem (one moment you're not worthy, the other moment they are not worthy) and they actually want you to be able to squash their drama and put them in their place, because they detest you if you fall for their manipulations. Many of the BPD women flirt and try to use sex when they feel threatened (when they cannot manipulate you to comply to their wishes) or emotionally blackmail you. They need to be the manipulator, because if they're not, then they are being manipulated and that will make their self-esteem plummet. If they cannot be on top, they will leave you for someone they can manipulate easier.

I agree, and have experienced this myself. You literally have to put them in place the moment they step out of line.. However having to do this on a regular basis in an LTR type situation is fvcking exhausting.

How many times are you going put her back in her box. Like you said, when she eventually realises that this man is not willing to tolerate any BS then she will leave you for a easier candidate to manipulate anyway. The whole thing is futile!

The only way to deal with these type of woman is by not getting attached and sex Only.

 

[soulforge]

I treat them like bratty children > rewarding positive action, 'ignoring' negative action. Because they 'need' me, they will comply to strong authority. I don't take sh!t from anyone, not 'even' from them, so either they comply or they can fvck off.

Actually, this is often what they're looking for, a strong (masculine) authority putting them in their place and forcing them to control their dramatic emotional outbursts.

I get that... And like you said you don't LTR these chicks so this approach works for you.

But in a LTR situation, living with her or putting a child inside her is another story altogether.

You can ruthlessly keep them in check, but they will fuk up and cause drama, it's just who & what they are.

On a casual basis your strategy is good. However I wouldn't recommend an LTR with these types.

 

[Learning Curve]

I've currently been dating my gf for 10 months. Outside of the last 3 weeks, everything was great. Sex, communication, friendship, affection, etc. She is also bi polar and does take a low to mod dose of medicine for it. There were no trust issues so I really never experienced her blowing up on me.

Before my gf, I hooked up with a woman that I had to end up blocking. Even though I told her that I didn't want a relationship with her and the hook up was a one time thing, she became very angry when I told her I started seeing someone and didn't want to talk to her anymore (her actions were completely crazy and disrespectful). And I blocked her..

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and the woman I blocked started talking to my gf's ex. Told him that I used her for sex (which I clearly stated my intentions with her and we only hooked up once) and said that we had texted all the way until March of this year, which is a lie. Nevertheless, my gf's ex made it a point to pass along that info to my gf.
Early November- hooked up with crazy woman
End November- started seeing my current gf.
First week of December- blocked crazy woman after she blew up on me when I refused to see her again and told her I was seeing someone

My gf and I discussed it in detail. I was 100% honest and transparent. She knows her ex is not a person of character and knows his intentions, which are to blow up our relationship. My gf agreed to work through this after I assured her of what really happened.
Then yesterday she decided to message the crazy woman I hooked up with before I knew my gf.....and again re-accused me of talking to her after we had been dating for months.
She told me the other night that she has insecurities from her ex cheating on her, lying to her, etc and that she is sorry for self sabotaging our relationship. Then blows up on me last night.

Is this a thing with people who are bi polar? I'm just curious as I've never been in this situation with someone before

Happy Hunting

This to me seems like a case of an insecure woman that can't handle a simple "one-time-sex"

The problem with this type of women is that they create all sort of problems because of their insecurity i had a woman like this before act exactly this way.

You can't really do anything besides ignoring her and moving on which I'm sure you already did. The thing is she will continue to cause problems until her ego gets filled to the point where she feels that she f3cuked up your current relationship.

This will be all on your gf to accept that this woman is a total disaster and move on from this situation.

 

[The Duke]

For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Who helped load her uhaul? I'd imagine there were some large items she needed a man to carry.

 

[soulforge]

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Excellent breakdown. I read the letter she left behind for GG and I wasn't buying it.

Is it fair to state, that the only way a relationship can be had with bipolar/BPD woman is to behave in a MUCH more toxic manner than she possibly could?

I mean like manipulate her, treat her like garbage time to time lol

I don't see how long that could continue for though.

 

[MtmVaott]

I've heard and experienced this sort of thing several times from the crazy girls I dated. I think they all read the same book.

Let me translate the crazy womaneese b.s. straight to manspeak.

I'm a weak person and have a hard time confronting my issues in person. I'm going to do all of this behind your back because its easier for me and I won't be taken to task on any of it. I never told you I do lots of things behind your back and call you out on what I'm most guilty of. First let me rub your ego and tell you how great you are to lessen the blow. I'm really fuhking crazy, I've been trying to hold it in and some slipped out the other day. Its really stressful being someone I'm not. I know you would drop me if you saw too much of who I really am. Thats my biggest fear and really what this is all about. Oops my insecurities are coming out again just like with your last girl. When I start feeling like things are too stable, I like to bring out my insecurities and sabotage my own relationship. I prefer unhealthy attachments to people. Thats why my ex lasted so long. You're too healthy minded for me. I'll leave you with one last sentence of bullschitt to blur your vision and tug on your heart strings because us crazy people are master manipulators....I'll always love you soulmate!

ps. that part I told you about going to live with my mom, well I'll probably go live with my ex. Most likely we will patch things back up. I'll give him some hot sex and he'll let me move back in.

Who helped load her uhaul? I'd imagine there were some large items she needed a man to carry.

These women pick certain men. They don't pick those who are used to healthy relationships. Men who are used to healthy relationships know how they should feel in the relationship and how the communication is supposed to be.
Edit: This is just an information that I think is quite important for the future. I don't mean it in a demeaning way.

 

[Glassguy]

Excellent breakdown. I read the letter she left behind for GG and I wasn't buying it.

Is it fair to state, that the only way a relationship can be had with bipolar/BPD woman is to behave in a MUCH more toxic manner than she possibly could?

I mean like manipulate her, treat her like garbage time to time lol

I don't see how long that could continue for though.

Yes. And it CANT continue. That's why they leave and go back. Then they leave and go back.

The chick I'm talking about in this thread had left him and went back 5 times. The last time over a year ago when they got divorce.

Not even a divorce can slow it down. I've also noticed that the first 10 months she was great. No lies, honesty, communicated extremely well and was very empathetic. Integrity. Strongly involved with her immediate family. Conversations instead of arguments.

The past month since he has been in her head it's been the complete opposite. Lie after lie. Deceitful. Talking about a problem turned into arguments. Dodging her family so they don't know she's going back to the ex that they all spent lots of time and effort helping her get away from.

Point being, with him in his head, she turned into the person she had to be around him. Fighting dirty and lying even if the proof was right in front of her face. But they know that's the mentality they need in order to be around them. It's like she was preparing for him in a weird way.

I don't understand why women choose to go back to these toxic relationships but they do. My mind doesn't work like theirs.

It's literally like trying to keep someone in recovery away from the crack house.

I learned a valuable lesson on this one. My first experience with Bi Polar / BPD. It sucks because I loved the person she was before. But I do not love the person she changed into.