Bi Polar Disorder

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,675
Reaction score
8,582
Age
47
Hang in there my friend. Perspective will clarify itself over the near term. You are a courageous soul to post your experiences here. It helps others & gains you varied viewpoints.
And you are a remarkable true friend.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,675
Reaction score
8,582
Age
47
For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "
Lol cap bro... Chicks are bought up on a diet of romantic movies.. So they are living out a romantic scene from a romantic movie.

Expressing her undying love for you, while in the same breath she is ditching you.

You think she wants to be out in the streets on her lonesome again?

No she is probably working on lining up the next Glassguy!

Look at her actions.. not the pretty little words in her letter.

And why did you move in with a Bipolar chick this soon. That's something you should be considering maybe 1•5 years down the line
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
"Sorry for the terrible things I did to you"

"I absolutely loved you"

Complete and utter contradictions!
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
4,997
Reaction score
4,809
Age
32
Location
Eye of the storm
Is this a thing with people who are bi polar?
Maybe, maybe not. Could just be general trust issues based on previous experiences that she described to you and it's hard to shake the feeling.

I would just calmly keep to the truth and if she sabotages herself, then that's just what happens, your conscience is clean at least.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,675
Reaction score
8,582
Age
47
Maybe, maybe not. Could just be general trust issues based on previous experiences that she described to you and it's hard to shake the feeling.

I would just calmly keep to the truth and if she sabotages herself, then that's just what happens, your conscience is clean at least.
I did that for 3 weeks until I figured out how to access the history of texts and call logs to physically show her I was 100% innocent of the accusations made against me. On 2 occasions I got pretty defensive. But I was tired of explaining myself
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,675
Reaction score
8,582
Age
47
I drove by her ex husband's place late this evening and her vehicle was there.
So there is the answer.
Thats a wrap. Hopefully my experience will help someone who might be in a similar situation at some point
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
I drove by her ex husband's place late this evening and her vehicle was there.
So there is the answer.
Thats a wrap. Hopefully my experience will help someone who might be in a similar situation at some point
Sorry to hear that man.

That's rough. Honestly getting involved with girls who still have a connection to the ex and the ex still wants her, is always a risky venture. Especially when she has kids with him.
 

FlirtLife

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2023
Messages
428
Reaction score
222
I didn't talk to my girlfriends ex husband (well now she is my ex gf). He started talking to this crazy chick that I hooked up with long before my gf came along. The crazy chick I hooked up with BEFORE ever meeting my gf told my gf's ex that I had continued to message her until March, when my gf and I started dating in late November. Which was a lie that I disputed over and over. Until I finally proved to her Friday night with my text/phone logs through my wireless provider.
My bad - I read "Told him that I used her for sex"[1] as something you said, when crazy ex-gf was doing the telling.

She should have had stricter boundaries with her ex husband, which she vowed to do 2 weeks ago when I found out that these lies were coming from him through him talking to the crazy chick I hooked up with before my gf came along.
Good call, but considering she's bi-polar, this may be the tip of the iceberg on boundary issues.


[1]
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago and the woman I blocked started talking to my gf's ex. Told him that I used her for sex (which I clearly stated my intentions with her and we only hooked up once) and said that we had texted all the way until March of this year, which is a lie. Nevertheless, my gf's ex made it a point to pass along that info to my gf.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
My bad - I read "Told him that I used her for sex"[1] as something you said, when crazy ex-gf was doing the telling.


Good call, but considering she's bi-polar, this may be the tip of the iceberg on boundary issues.


[1]
Bipolar girls BPD etc are not good with boundaries and tend to be quite impulsive.
 

MtmVaott

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2022
Messages
324
Reaction score
114
I met a gril like that. Was very desperate because she yearned to feel loved. Step father must have secretely hated her. Real father dead from young age. Very hot. Very, very low on empathy. Manipulative, more than an average "poor quality" woman. Told me not to feel a certain way. Very superficial in the way that I could not really see "her", just a shell of "nice" behaviour.

OP, I am 99% certain that woman meant everything she said. She didn't contradict herself. Look, women like that can bend their minds endlessly. They mean what they say, even if it looks unlogical from the outside. She will now live with her ex and still you remain her "soulmate". It's just how they are.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
5,070
Reaction score
4,244
For some clarity, the letter she left me:
"It is killing me to write this, but I honestly didn't have the courage to say it to you in person. As I am sure you know by now, I am moving out. I wanted to say thank you for all of the perfect times we have had together and with my kids. You're an amazing man and any woman in this world would be SO lucky to have you. I want to apologize for all of the terrible things I have done to you. You did not deserve that. I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes. I wish I could get everything out of my head that tells me we won't work out but I can't. Its a major flaw in me that I can't shake. I hope that one day you can forgive me for all of this, but just know that I truly love you with all my heart. I could have not wished for a better man. I wish nothing but the best for you in this life and I hope one day our paths will come back together when I am a stronger woman with less baggage. You are my soul mate and that will never change. Until we see each other again someday......I'll love you always. "
Looks like she copy+pasted this from the Romantic Stalker Playbook.

It is killing me > drama
honestly > everything else was dishonest
with my kids > tacked onto the sentence as an afterthought, but just let me remind you the kids are leaving too
any woman in the world > standard claptrap, "any woman but me"
I want to apologise > not the same as an apology, just that she desired to do the right thing.
I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes > I get infatuated at the drop of a hat
my head tells me this, but my heart tells me that > I'm schizophrenic about my feelings.
truly love you with all my heart > more bovine feces - you don't leave someone you truly love
until we meet again someday > basically a stalking threat: you'll be on the back burner if my current/next situation doesn't work out.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
Looks like she copy+pasted this from the Romantic Stalker Playbook.

It is killing me > drama
honestly > everything else was dishonest
with my kids > tacked onto the sentence as an afterthought, but just let me remind you the kids are leaving too
any woman in the world > standard claptrap, "any woman but me"
I want to apologise > not the same as an apology, just that she desired to do the right thing.
I absolutely loved you the first time I ever looked into your blue eyes > I get infatuated at the drop of a hat
my head tells me this, but my heart tells me that > I'm schizophrenic about my feelings.
truly love you with all my heart > more bovine feces - you don't leave someone you truly love
until we meet again someday > basically a stalking threat: you'll be on the back burner if my current/next situation doesn't work out.
You summed this up well.

Something I have come to realise is, getting through an LTR in current times is difficult enough with a relatively healthy/sane person, with the dating market being the way it is in our current times.

Throw in a personality disorder/mental health issues/depression etc and medication & you just made your life way way more complicated & the breakup more likely to be inevitable.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
5,070
Reaction score
4,244
Something I have come to realise is, getting through an LTR in current times is difficult enough with a relatively healthy/sane person, with the dating market being the way it is in our current times.
Exactly. I'm not looking for LTR, but you don't want to have to put up with unnecessary drama.

Like I stated before, I counsel people with C-PTSD, mainly women. Maybe 1 out of 10 would be dateable (but I don't date them anyway), the other 9 would be a disaster for anyone who doesn't understand how their twisted minds work.
You may not want to hear this, but many borderline women feel bad and have fluctuating self-esteem (one moment you're not worthy, the other moment they are not worthy) and they actually want you to be able to squash their drama and put them in their place, because they detest you if you fall for their manipulations. Many of the BPD women flirt and try to use sex when they feel threatened (when they cannot manipulate you to comply to their wishes) or emotionally blackmail you. They need to be the manipulator, because if they're not, then they are being manipulated and that will make their self-esteem plummet. If they cannot be on top, they will leave you for someone they can manipulate easier.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
Exactly. I'm not looking for LTR, but you don't want to have to put up with unnecessary drama.

Like I stated before, I counsel people with C-PTSD, mainly women. Maybe 1 out of 10 would be dateable (but I don't date them anyway), the other 9 would be a disaster for anyone who doesn't understand how their twisted minds work.
You may not want to hear this, but many borderline women feel bad and have fluctuating self-esteem (one moment you're not worthy, the other moment they are not worthy) and they actually want you to be able to squash their drama and put them in their place, because they detest you if you fall for their manipulations. Many of the BPD women flirt and try to use sex when they feel threatened (when they cannot manipulate you to comply to their wishes) or emotionally blackmail you. They need to be the manipulator, because if they're not, then they are being manipulated and that will make their self-esteem plummet. If they cannot be on top, they will leave you for someone they can manipulate easier.
I agree, and have experienced this myself. You literally have to put them in place the moment they step out of line.. However having to do this on a regular basis in an LTR type situation is fvcking exhausting.

How many times are you going put her back in her box. Like you said, when she eventually realises that this man is not willing to tolerate any BS then she will leave you for a easier candidate to manipulate anyway. The whole thing is futile!

The only way to deal with these type of woman is by not getting attached and sex Only.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
5,070
Reaction score
4,244
How many times are you going put her back in her box. Like you said, when she eventually realises that this man is not willing to tolerate any BS then she will leave you for a easier candidate to manipulate anyway. The whole thing is futile!
I treat them like bratty children > rewarding positive action, 'ignoring' negative action. Because they 'need' me, they will comply to strong authority. I don't take sh!t from anyone, not 'even' from them, so either they comply or they can fvck off.

Actually, this is often what they're looking for, a strong (masculine) authority putting them in their place and forcing them to control their dramatic emotional outbursts.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,191
Reaction score
4,925
I treat them like bratty children > rewarding positive action, 'ignoring' negative action. Because they 'need' me, they will comply to strong authority. I don't take sh!t from anyone, not 'even' from them, so either they comply or they can fvck off.

Actually, this is often what they're looking for, a strong (masculine) authority putting them in their place and forcing them to control their dramatic emotional outbursts.
I get that... And like you said you don't LTR these chicks so this approach works for you.

But in a LTR situation, living with her or putting a child inside her is another story altogether.

You can ruthlessly keep them in check, but they will fuk up and cause drama, it's just who & what they are.

On a casual basis your strategy is good. However I wouldn't recommend an LTR with these types.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
5,070
Reaction score
4,244
On a casual basis your strategy is good. However I wouldn't recommend an LTR with these types.
I wouldn't recommend any LTR, so there's that.
 
Top