BFs that hit their girls

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by salsipuedes
Women who take that abuse have emotional and psychological problems, low self steem, etc etc.

Sometimes it's not about self esteem. In fact, my self esteem was always very high. I just grew up in an environment where I never learned how to express feelings because it just wasn't viewed as acceptable. In fact, it wasn't until I was an adult that my parents ever verbalized their love for me and my siblings. I wasn't abused or mistreated in any way. It was just a very methodical, matter of fact and emotionless environment. Looking back now it was very bizarre. I'm not scarred from it or anything and it never bothered me at all. I just needed to learn how to express emotion and I ended up learning through a very volatile relationship. It served it's purpose and is all water under the bridge now...and I have 3 wonderful children I wouldn't trade for the world, so it's all good.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Alphathree
Great, now two women are talking to each other about how they've been abused on a board for men about picking up women.

Let's share the love.

Hey, anyone wanna go shoe shopping?

Ugh...she shopping is boring. I'd much rather go fishing or camping.

(I was trying to help her figure out why she is attracted to abusers....share my wisdom, ya know?)

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Ugh...she shopping is boring. I'd much rather go fishing or camping.

(I was trying to help her figure out why she is attracted to abusers....share my wisdom, ya know?)

You think you're a genius

You drive me up the wall

You're a regular original, a know-it-all

Ohh, ohh, you think you're special

Ohh, ohh, you think you're something else

...

That don't impress me much

 

[Wyldfire]

Well I'm back
fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy,
cuz it feels so empty without me

 

[Alphathree]

THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

A few times I've been 'round that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I an't no hollaback girl

 

[Alphathree]

Do you find it at all odd that you're quoting Eminem and I'm quoting Gwen Stefani and Shania Twain?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Alphathree
Do you find it at all odd that you're quoting Eminem and I'm quoting Gwen Stefani and Shania Twain?

Yes...I have much better taste in music than you do.

And with that I'm off to get ready for work...my Omni Turn Machine is calling.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Yes...I have much better taste in music than you do.

And with that I'm off to get ready for work...my Omni Turn Machine is calling.

Fu*k, I forgot to end the convo first.

/Alphathree slaps himself

I thought you said something about a "Turing Machine" there and I got freaked out... erm, nevermind.

 

[BackToTheMack]

insecure guys hit girls simple.

 

[Amalthea]

Originally posted by Alphathree
This is ******** for "what Alphathree said was actually exactly what happened to me, but I had to say, 'no, that isn't right Alphathree' and then say the same thing back in ********."

The attraction blinded you to the abuse. That's almost exactly what I said, save for the word "blinded"

Alphathree, to clarify, I was only disputing a part of what you said - the part about women who are abused being "weak-willed."

I understood what you said about the attraction blinding a woman to her abuse and I reiterated that same idea because I did agree. My agreement with your argument was implicit.

I believe you are a bit too quick to find criticism where there is none.

Women are not incapable of logical arguments.

Many women make brilliant lawyers.

There is, however, undeniable proof that male and female communication styles differ and I do not see that one is superior to the other.

The way that the term "********" has been used in this thread has given me the distinct impression that a female's style of communication is thought to be inferior.

In this particular case, it wasn't really an argument at all but rather, a sharing of experience - And a highly emotional experience, at that.

In fact, although this is a little off topic, I would make note that, in order to communicate well with women, it is necessary to realize that quite often, they do not wish for someone to solve or analyze their problems but rather, to listen and to empathize with what is being said.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Amalthea
Alphathree, to clarify, I was only disputing a part of what you said - the part about women who are abused being "weak-willed."

I understood what you said about the attraction blinding a woman to her abuse and I reiterated that same idea because I did agree. My agreement with your argument was implicit.

I believe you are a bit too quick to find criticism where there is none.

Women are not incapable of logical arguments.

Many women make brilliant lawyers.

There is, however, undeniable proof that male and female communication styles differ and I do not see that one is superior to the other.

The way that the term "********" has been used in this thread has given me the distinct impression that a female's style of communication is thought to be inferior.

In this particular case, it wasn't really an argument at all but rather, a sharing of experience - And a highly emotional experience, at that.

In fact, although this is a little off topic, I would make note that, in order to communicate well with women, it is necessary to realize that quite often, they do not wish for someone to solve or analyze their problems but rather, to listen and to empathize with what is being said.

I think I made it pretty clear that I didn't think of one style or the other as being superior.

WRT to your last paragraph: I go into auto-pilot "feed back what I get in" mode whenever a woman goes off on a rant about something.

Spent a long time trying to 'fix' my girlfriend's problems back in my AFC days and I know where that got me (nowhere)

Anyway, I'm not trying to get rapport with you, nor am I trying to game you, so you won't catch me empathizing with you, lol

Too much work for a message board. I stick with logical discussion here.

 

[DumpaLumpagus]

If a girl asked you to hit her when you guys are doing it, would you do it? I don't just mean your average spanking, but:

Punching
Biting
Burning
Choking
Slapping
Ect...

Do chicks like that kind of thing in bed?

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Alphathree
It is a broad question, but I can give a broad answer:

Suppose a simple model of the universe in which any man can have one or more of the following "qualities":

1. abusive toward women
2. attractive to women
3. qualities not directly related to women

Now suppose that I tell you that all men have a 1/3 chance of getting any given quality.

It follows that there would be a reasonable supply of men with quality 2 and/or 3, and those would be sought after by women.

BUT, suppose a second reality, in which quality 2 was rare and men with quality 2 had a 95% chance of also posessing quality 1.

Now what is an attractive woman to do? Search out the 5%, or go with the 95%?

My field experience tells me that the second reality is the real one.

Abuse isn't attractive, but men who have developed attractive qualities may be prone to be abusive.

Conclusion: if your goal is to pick up women, abuse isn't necessary, and in fact, you can "get ahead" by being attractive without being abusive.

nope,
negativity again.
BRO
life your life
SERIOUSLY.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Alphathree
Do you find it at all odd that you're quoting Eminem and I'm quoting Gwen Stefani and Shania Twain?

ya even if those 2 are lesbian, it seems that hes getting info from a more credible source.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Alphathree
THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

THE SH*T is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s

A few times I've been 'round that track

So it's not just gonna happen like that

Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

I an't no hollaback girl

are you a girl ?

 

[manuva]

Originally posted by Amalthea
In my case, the abuse started with little things like being spit on

You call that a little thing?

If anyone spit on me deliberately - anyone - they'd wake up in hospital.

 

[MetalFortress]

The reason is that somewhere inside, the man both takes some kind of pleasure from being in total control, yet hates himself for what he is doing with it. The woman feels the same way except she takes the pleasure from being totally controlled, yet she hates herself for what she is letting him do to her with the control.

It relates also to something weird I notice... why do chicks like pain? I could be making out with/feelin up a chick and add a little bite somewhere and she'd be turned on. She'd do the same to me and I'd feel like saying "get off me you damn vampire!!" yet, it turns me on to use a little force to turn her on.

Abuse is the Real_Ultimate_Suck, though.

 

[Amalthea]

Originally posted by Alphathree
Anyway, I'm not trying to get rapport with you, nor am I trying to game you, so you won't catch me empathizing with you, lol

Nor was I trying to establish rapport with you or seeking your empathy.

I was sharing my experience - as does everyone here - in order to help others understand why girls stay with BFs who are abusive.

I was under the impression that men here wanted to better understand women, so I made the comment about being empathetic.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Amalthea
Nor was I trying to establish rapport with you or seeking your empathy.

I was sharing my experience - as does everyone here - in order to help others understand why girls stay with BFs who are abusive.

I was under the impression that men here wanted to better understand women, so I made the comment about being empathetic.

You're new here...and any woman that comes here typically experiences a certain amount of crap. If you're going to stick around you'll need to get used to it. I've been here for quite a long time and I still get that from the newer guys who haven't figured out that I'm usually more logical and rational than they are.

 

[Amalthea]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
You're new here...and any woman that comes here typically experiences a certain amount of crap. If you're going to stick around you'll need to get used to it. I've been here for quite a long time and I still get that from the newer guys who haven't figured out that I'm usually more logical and rational than they are.

Gotcha, Wyldfire.

It's all about earning respect - A very male thing.

Thing is, I was here over a year ago, won my respect by proving my logic and ability to argue a point, but disappeared for a while...

So now I have to build it up again. (sigh)

I'm used to it - Have older brothers.