Beware the attention *****, the female equivalent of creepiness (story time)

[sangheilios]

It's hilarious reading back some of the posts on this. What world are you guys living on where this isn't attention whoring behavior lol?

 

[corrector]

It's hilarious reading back some of the posts on this. What world are you guys living on where this isn't attention whoring behavior lol?

 

[MtmVaott]

It's hilarious reading back some of the posts on this. What world are you guys living on where this isn't attention whoring behavior lol?

I think you are right when you say she was a creep. A creep is someone with not enough social competence/experience.
I still don't think it's "normal" to flirt with someone you just rejected. That's just abusive. I couldn't do that.
This woman had more serious issues with her going on. Doesn't matter what her motives were. Now with more info I think it's attention wh0ring, too. Reminds me of a coquette girl I knew. She was using men and try to garner ones approval with her sexual attractiveness. Maybe you encountered a likewise troubled creature.

 

[sangheilios]

I think you are right when you say she was a creep. A creep is someone with not enough social competence/experience.
I still don't think it's "normal" to flirt with someone you just rejected. That's just abusive. I couldn't do that.
This woman had more serious issues with her going on. Doesn't matter what her motives were. Now with more info I think it's attention wh0ring, too. Reminds me of a coquette girl I knew. She was using men and try to garner ones approval with her sexual attractiveness. Maybe you encountered a likewise troubled creature.

Yeah, I don't think that is normal behavior either and amazed these other posters don't see that. I actually asked 3 women that I know in their early 20s about a situation like this, though obviously I didn't get into very specific details, and they all said that they would never continue to interact or approach that man given that scenario. One of the them said if she was continuing to encourage engagement or going out of her way to do so that she was just seeking attention, basically what has been discussed on this thread lol.

It's definitely not worth trying to analyze why a woman would behave in such a manner. I find it incredibly odd and to me it shows a severe lack of common sense and basic social consideration. What I find particularly strange is when they create a scenario that easily puts not just the other person but themselves into a compromised and uncomfortable spot when there is no reason. This isn't like you are a coworker and have to deal with this person, it's an environment where there does not need to be any further interaction at all.

This particular story was from a while ago and I was a different person back then. A version of me now would have handled the post initial interaction very differently. I definitely would have still said the "Ok, it was nice to meet you" and gone about my day, that whole part is the same. However, if she was going OUT of her way to try flirting with me and talking with me AND I'm getting the vibe that she is leading me on I'd call it out right then and there.

 

[LTG71]

Dread is mostly passive, but it's a good term.

One of my kittens feels passive dread about women approaching me, but I explained to her that most of the women who approach me are not interested in giving me attention, but they want to draw attention to themselves because I haven't validated their presence. If a woman gets used to being the center of male attention, not getting that attention urges them to approach in order to be noticed (and hopefully get validated). And the more aloof you are when a woman approaches, the more she'll ramp up the flirting - especially when there are other women present.

Especially if the other woman is attractive. Often you will hear them make negative comments in order to disqualify the other woman.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Especially if the other woman is attractive. Often you will hear them make negative comments in order to disqualify the other woman.

Yeah, that also messes with my lover's mind. She's worried that other women look at me the way she sees me and she's afraid they will take her place, even if I don't give the woman any attention. She's working on her insecurity though, and it's getting better when I explained to her that most of these women are not really interested in me, they are just miffed I don't notice them and they approach to get validation. Okay, here's your validation, now go back to your bored-looking boyfriend.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I can't believe I have to do this for this guy... But here it goes

Examples of a REAL Attention W.hore

Sanghelios Example of An Attention *****

Starts telling you a bunch of nonsense about her life in a damsel in distresss manner to garner your attention and reel you in emotionally. Constantly makes the conversation about herself. Gives you her number and or social media but never hits you up or rarely talks to you unless shes just saying hey becuase she wants you to text herr and give her attentions, or posts revealing pics on social media for u to boost her ego Gives you small concentrated doses of charm but never seems to give you enough of her time to even really have a conversation. Wears revealing ass clothing like super tight yoga pants, shows alot of cleavage or wears tight clothes and no bra so you can see her nipples, shows a lot of skin, Goes in front of your line of sight and starts doing squats or lunges in tight yoga pants Overly charms you, flirts with you hard with no intention of ever giving you anything. The same attention she gives you, she gives to other guys openly.. She garners attention from multiple places Purposely does something to touch you or get close to you, or rub herself against you then act like she didnt know what she was doing Will go as far as to invite you out to things , will dance with you for a bit then disappear.. becauseas an attention *****, she garners her attention from many places, not just one When you're upset or confront her about just being selfish or only wanting attention, she tries to use her charm to make you feel like she really cares about you, as she doesnt want to lose a friend/someone to give her attention that she needs Usually has a ton of guys or friends in general who orbit around her. Creates unnecessary drama to be the center of attention or does whatever to bring attention back to her, or tries to be deeply involved in any topic or gossip and play every side.

Says Hello. sometimes says Hey. Sometimes waves from afar. Blatantly Rejects you and says she has a BOYFRIEND Starts being short with you when you start talking to her past being cordial or notices you're trying to go out your way to talk to her.. responds with one word responses, in person. Never gives you her number Rejects you another time saying "DIDNT ITELL U THE FIRST TIME NO" Starts Ignoring you andis visibly uncomfortable around you because she realizes you're a creep

Please stop feeding this guy. He tells everyone that we don't know what an attention ***** is.. but he's so far out of touch its embarassing.

 

[James Cruse]

Alot of people have commented on this and I think alot of comments here have missed the forest for the trees.

Women NEED attention AND validation on a biological level. They often aren’t even aware they need it or to what extent they actually need it.

To a woman and her unconscious mind (and old parts of her brain) a woman that doesn’f get attention and validation from men - doesn’t survive.

Getting attention and validation from men is a survival mechanism for women and this impulse to court attention & validation from men is hardcorded into their dna.

Attention and validation from men in general (who have value to her), but also strongly from their male partner/husband.

This woman was clearly seeking attention and validation from you. Whether that turned into more later, women can’t tell from the start as they often want to assess your behaviour of they have any doubts when they meet you.

You stated your intentions, she rejected you but then re-engaged you again.

I have had this happen to me at work or at my hobbies and it usually means she has thought about me and is interested later- but wasn’t tin the correct mindframe at that time.

Alternatively, whatever you did after she re-engaged you let her know you’re not really a guy she wants to persue beyond just attention and validational purposes.

That’s ok - just be friendly and pivot her to meet her friends or other girls at the gym.

Instead, you got into your head, had alot of salty feelings about it and made your relationship weird.

When I escalate on a woman in my hobbies or at the gym and she rejects me - I know I’m going to see her again many times.

So, I respond with some jokes and we become friends - but instead of it just being her extracting attention and validation: have fun with her and bring her friends into the fun and pivot that pre-selection she’s giving you to meet other girls at the gym that ARE interested in you.

I can tell you - alot more girls at my gym become interested in me when I’m having fun with an attractive girl there - so many more girls.

Use it all for your own self-amusement, fun and pre-selection and you may just make a great friends while you’re at it.

 

[James Cruse]

A girl being friendly does not mean shes into you. Women in relationships will often be the most friendliest becsuse now that they locked down a man they like they dont have the weird pressures of worrying about socializing with guys and wondering if the guy is secretly into her or about reciprocating feelings that arent there.

I think you’re half correct here.

In my experience, if I meet a woman who’s married - she’ll often hide her wedding ring (happens more than you think) or put off telling you they’re married for the following reasons:

1. She’s in deficit of diversified male attention/male validation.
They’re currently only get getting meaningful sexual/romantic/mating attention from one man (their husband) as everyone else in the social circle/work knows they’re married so doesn’t give them that attention.
When you give her that attention she wants to put off telling you she’s married because she knows that attention will stop immediately. Women need male attention & validation on a biological level as it’a a survival instinct.
Some women (not all) want or need a diversity of male attention in their l

2. She’s looking for a backup to her current boyfriend and/or she thinks you may have the potential to be the guy she monkey branches to from her current boyfriend or heaven forbid, her husband.

This thread should be a lesson for any guy who meets a girl who makes it clear they arent interested in you. Its important to never lose frame. Especially with women you have nothing with. Thats the most embarassing.

I don’t think this was embarrassing and I’be re-approached women at my gym or hobbies or in bars/clubs that politely rejected me the first time I approached and the second time they were very receptive and we had sex later.
They even pretend they forgot about the first time they rejected you - or just didn’t really remember it clearly.

I’m not advocating you badger them until they like you but just be relaxed and fun and friendly and have a laugh and amuse yourself if you see them again. Just don’t take it too seriously. If you’re a fun guy who’s enjoying himself and having a laugh, she’ll want to be friendly in return.
Then she can become your friend and introduce you to her friends or meet other women in the gym through her or WITH her.

All of the other situations though involved women that were going out of their way to lead me on, flirt, talk to me, ask me out, etc.

I think the problem with the gym environment though is the possibility of running into them semi regularly and it turning into an awkward scenario. What I ended up learning from my experience is that the gym environment is a terrible place to try to approach or meet women.

You’re taking it way too seriously brother. They may have liked you and you took it too seriously and were salty when they didn’t immediately seduce themselves for you.

Just be a fun lad and have a laugh and girls will fall over themselves to be around you at the gym. You sound like you’re being far too serious and intense - women don’t like that, it comes across as threatening, insecure and weak - in addition to not being fun.

Women want to play and have fun - have fun yourself and they’ll join in.

If this is true, you're not 'unlucky'. If you're such an Adonis, the story fits quite well. She expressed interest in your appearance, but the moment you opened your mouth she back-pedalled.
Guess you have to work on your verbal game and your vibe, because you should be able to slay all these attention wh0res, whether they have a boyfriend or not. It sure won't be your appearance that messes it up.

Girls do not go out of their way to approach men they don’t see ANY value in. It just doesn’t make any sense for them to do that.

The payoff of JUST attention and validation generally isn’t enough for women to go out of their way - unless she’s doing that to EVERY other guy at the gym - which she wasn’t.
It sounds like she was fairly selective about what guys she talked to.

Women can deny these thingd until the cows come home, but I’d bet she wasn’t going out of her way to seek attention from the 58 year old creep smelly loner leering in the corner and she certainly wasn’t approaching the eeak cabbie working out wearing his cabbie uniform (see these guys at my gym at night) or the skinny 5 foot nothing incel 18 year old with a pizza face - was she?

So she was being selective with men she wanted attention from.

I dated many truly fit athletic women throughout my life (most of them flexible rope bunnies). None of them I met in a gym, but they all went to the gym 2-6 times a week. ALL of them complained about guys approaching them, even when they were wearing headphones and busy exercising. Half of them enjoyed the lecherous stares from the men in the gym and they liked to watch some of the more handsome muscular men, but none of them were interested sexually in these men.

That’s literally the EXACT opposite of my experience with women who REGULARLY go to gyms.
My attractive female friends that go to gyms are constantly telling me that they would go on a date with ANY muscular guy she sees at the gym if they ask them. Others are pining for several guys and give them signals as much as they can without looking desperate.

Now, all of the women I actually DATE who go to the gym tell me they have NO interest in men at the gym. Some of them habe said they dated men at the gym before though.

The differing information that I get is that once I’m in a relationship with these girls - they’re not going to be truthful about their attraction or their receptivity to men at the gym because they don’t want me to know they have a bunch of alternative and fit dating options at their disposal when they go to the gym - which is exactly what the gym is for those fit gym regulars girls. It’s like a real life instagram or dating meat market for these girls.

Now women who go to the gym once per fortnight or once per month - they often don’t want to be bothered at the gym because their willpower is so low and they’re so lazy that they just want to get their workout out of the way and get on with doing something they actually enjoy because they ha
Women who go to the gym 2-6 times per week are not in this mindset though.

It's definitely not worth trying to analyze why a woman would behave in such a manner. I find it incredibly odd and to me it shows a severe lack of common sense and basic social consideration.

I think writing off this woman as just being a silly attention ***** who has a personality issue is lazy and unproductive.

I’ve seen women do these things to other men and it’s not what’s happening.

Like I said above - you’re ao serious and salty. Use all of this to your advantage and have dun with it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So, I respond with some jokes and we become friends - but instead of it just being her extracting attention and validation: have fun with her and bring her friends into the fun and pivot that pre-selection she’s giving you to meet other girls at the gym that ARE interested in you.

You'd have to understand, like you do, the importance of 'social proof' and how women are attracted to men who are comfortable around women. And how that is not always based on looking like an adonis. The OP doesn't get that yet, but hopefully the reactions in this post help.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women who go to the gym 2-6 times per week are not in this mindset though.

I guess that also depends on the 'gym culture' in your location.
Many of these girls worked their jobs in the afternoon/evening and exercised almost daily between 9-11 in the morning and are not in the mood to be seduced at those times.
My guess is that women who go exercise in the late afternoon / evening are more down to having a drink after their workout.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I think you’re half correct here.

In my experience, if I meet a woman who’s married - she’ll often hide her wedding ring (happens more than you think) or put off telling you they’re married for the following reasons:

1. She’s in deficit of diversified male attention/male validation.
They’re currently only get getting meaningful sexual/romantic/mating attention from one man (their husband) as everyone else in the social circle/work knows they’re married so doesn’t give them that attention.
When you give her that attention she wants to put off telling you she’s married because she knows that attention will stop immediately. Women need male attention & validation on a biological level as it’a a survival instinct.
Some women (not all) want or need a diversity of male attention in their l

2. She’s looking for a backup to her current boyfriend and/or she thinks you may have the potential to be the guy she monkey branches to from her current boyfriend or heaven forbid, her husband.



I don’t think this was embarrassing and I’be re-approached women at my gym or hobbies or in bars/clubs that politely rejected me the first time I approached and the second time they were very receptive and we had sex later.
They even pretend they forgot about the first time they rejected you - or just didn’t really remember it clearly.

I’m not advocating you badger them until they like you but just be relaxed and fun and friendly and have a laugh and amuse yourself if you see them again. Just don’t take it too seriously. If you’re a fun guy who’s enjoying himself and having a laugh, she’ll want to be friendly in return.
Then she can become your friend and introduce you to her friends or meet other women in the gym through her or WITH her.




You’re taking it way too seriously brother. They may have liked you and you took it too seriously and were salty when they didn’t immediately seduce themselves for you.

Just be a fun lad and have a laugh and girls will fall over themselves to be around you at the gym. You sound like you’re being far too serious and intense - women don’t like that, it comes across as threatening, insecure and weak - in addition to not being fun.

Women want to play and have fun - have fun yourself and they’ll join in.


Girls do not go out of their way to approach men they don’t see ANY value in. It just doesn’t make any sense for them to do that.

The payoff of JUST attention and validation generally isn’t enough for women to go out of their way - unless she’s doing that to EVERY other guy at the gym - which she wasn’t.
It sounds like she was fairly selective about what guys she talked to.

Women can deny these thingd until the cows come home, but I’d bet she wasn’t going out of her way to seek attention from the 58 year old creep smelly loner leering in the corner and she certainly wasn’t approaching the eeak cabbie working out wearing his cabbie uniform (see these guys at my gym at night) or the skinny 5 foot nothing incel 18 year old with a pizza face - was she?

So she was being selective with men she wanted attention from.


That’s literally the EXACT opposite of my experience with women who REGULARLY go to gyms.
My attractive female friends that go to gyms are constantly telling me that they would go on a date with ANY muscular guy she sees at the gym if they ask them. Others are pining for several guys and give them signals as much as they can without looking desperate.

Now, all of the women I actually DATE who go to the gym tell me they have NO interest in men at the gym. Some of them habe said they dated men at the gym before though.

The differing information that I get is that once I’m in a relationship with these girls - they’re not going to be truthful about their attraction or their receptivity to men at the gym because they don’t want me to know they have a bunch of alternative and fit dating options at their disposal when they go to the gym - which is exactly what the gym is for those fit gym regulars girls. It’s like a real life instagram or dating meat market for these girls.

Now women who go to the gym once per fortnight or once per month - they often don’t want to be bothered at the gym because their willpower is so low and they’re so lazy that they just want to get their workout out of the way and get on with doing something they actually enjoy because they ha
Women who go to the gym 2-6 times per week are not in this mindset though.


I think writing off this woman as just being a silly attention ***** who has a personality issue is lazy and unproductive.

I’ve seen women do these things to other men and it’s not what’s happening.

Like I said above - you’re ao serious and salty. Use all of this to your advantage and have dun with it.

To each their own. You might not be embarrassed by thinking a girl likes you just because she says hi and hello despite her rejecting you, and still trying to make advances at her til the point she becomes very uncomfortable and then getting ousted/made out to be a creep by her as she now avoids you as if you're some creepy dude.. but, I think most men would.

Being labeled a creep or a pervert is one of the least admirable/most disrespected things in society. Even more than petty criminals, thugs and gang members. What does it relay? 1) That you're a pervert/harass women while 2) not being desired by women.. infact women being afraid of you/uncomfortable even talking to you

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I can't believe I have to do this for this guy... But here it goes

Examples of a REAL Attention W.hore

Sanghelios Example of An Attention *****

Starts telling you a bunch of nonsense about her life in a damsel in distresss manner to garner your attention and reel you in emotionally. Constantly makes the conversation about herself. Gives you her number and or social media but never hits you up or rarely talks to you unless shes just saying hey becuase she wants you to text herr and give her attentions, or posts revealing pics on social media for u to boost her ego Gives you small concentrated doses of charm but never seems to give you enough of her time to even really have a conversation. Wears revealing ass clothing like super tight yoga pants, shows alot of cleavage or wears tight clothes and no bra so you can see her nipples, shows a lot of skin, Goes in front of your line of sight and starts doing squats or lunges in tight yoga pants Overly charms you, flirts with you hard with no intention of ever giving you anything. The same attention she gives you, she gives to other guys openly.. She garners attention from multiple places Purposely does something to touch you or get close to you, or rub herself against you then act like she didnt know what she was doing Will go as far as to invite you out to things , will dance with you for a bit then disappear.. becauseas an attention *****, she garners her attention from many places, not just one When you're upset or confront her about just being selfish or only wanting attention, she tries to use her charm to make you feel like she really cares about you, as she doesnt want to lose a friend/someone to give her attention that she needs Usually has a ton of guys or friends in general who orbit around her. Creates unnecessary drama to be the center of attention or does whatever to bring attention back to her, or tries to be deeply involved in any topic or gossip and play every side.

Says Hello. sometimes says Hey. Sometimes waves from afar. Blatantly Rejects you and says she has a BOYFRIEND Starts being short with you when you start talking to her past being cordial or notices you're trying to go out your way to talk to her.. responds with one word responses, in person. Never gives you her number Rejects you another time saying "DIDNT ITELL U THE FIRST TIME NO" Starts Ignoring you andis visibly uncomfortable around you because she realizes you're a creep

Please stop feeding this guy. He tells everyone that we don't know what an attention ***** is.. but he's so far out of touch its embarassing.

Hahahaha that was great format

 

[James Cruse]

I guess that also depends on the 'gym culture' in your location.
Many of these girls worked their jobs in the afternoon/evening and exercised almost daily between 9-11 in the morning and are not in the mood to be seduced at those times.
My guess is that women who go exercise in the late afternoon / evening are more down to having a drink after their workout.

I go to the gym in the early or late evenings so I’m not sure there is a definative “gym culture” that’s been agreed to or followed by anyone.

Sometimes it’s a drink and other times it’s some food and sometimes a date later.

The point isn’t really my location or time - it’s that girls I’m not dating that go to the gym regularly ALWAYS COMPLAIN guys at the gym don’t ask them out - always complain.

Girls that are friends that I later date all of the sudden stop mentioning guys at their gym that the like, same with any other girl I’ve dated.
Surprise! Women don’t tell the truth about men they consider other male options. If your girlfriend is a gym regular, best believe she considers some of those men as options and if you weren’t dating her, she may entertain those options.

Women do have a vested interest in downplaying any of their other sources of potential male options as being nothing or non-existant: at their work, gym, hobbies, instagrams, going out to nightclubs, etc.

To each their own. You might not be embarrassed by thinking a girl likes you just because she says hi and hello despite her rejecting you, and still trying to make advances at her til the point she becomes very uncomfortable and then getting ousted/made out to be a creep by her as she now avoids you as if you're some creepy dude.. but, I think most men would.

This sounds really passive-aggressive mate. I’ve slept with so many women when I’ve approached them a second or third time when I’m at the gym or my hobbies or just in clubs/bars.

When I re-approach at the gym or my hobbies, I’m just friendly, rather than being particularly seductive, especially when I know I’ll likely run into them again in the future.

I’ve re-approached many woman (after she rejected me the first time I met her) and she’s they always become more friendly, nicer and more agreeable to me. It’s sound illogical but that’s just how women react when you re-approach them after you were honest with them about your interest the first time you met.

Why would being friendly to them and having a laugh when I see them again be considered creepy?

And why are so many of them sleeping with me after I re-approach them?
They must really not consider me a creep and it sounds like you really haven’t got much experience with this type of situation or you just misunderstood what I said earlier.

I think it’s fairly obvious when a woman isn’t interested in talking to you EVER again and when they just didn’t want to date you - there’s a HUGE chasm in different behaviour between those two situations that you may think people here aren’t aware of.

If you’re a good energy, fun guy - they want to see you and talk to you more on other occasions.

I think what women DON’T like is when you approach them and HIDE your intent about being interested in them - that’s creepy.

Is that perhaps what you’ve done and found yourself being labelled a creep?

 

[sangheilios]

@James Cruse

I agree with a lot of what you've written on here but I also think you underestimate the possibility of attention whoring simply because you've never experienced it yourself. I'm not saying that to belittle you, it's just you have been fortunate enough to not cross paths with a woman that is like that. I've had several experiences of meeting attention *****s at the gym, all but one of my actual approaches. The other stories played out somewhat similar to the one I wrote about on here, in fact I'd actually say the others were worse. The gym environment is filled with women like this, it's the cultural norm now for young fit women to take tons of selfies, record themselves, etc. whilst also dressing like it's a strip tease lol. You NEVER saw this stuff about a decade ago but I started noticing it in 2018, though it seems to really be far more common over the last couple years.

These women are literally just bat**** crazy and should be avoided as much as possible. After a handful of poor experiences approaching in the gym, I learned to completely write that off as an environment to meet women. If they act like this with a guy that is 6'4" and much fitter than the majority of people that actually go to the gym, that should say something about gym game right there. It's either that or I've just been insanely unlucky with my relatively small sample size that is limited to my geographic area.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I’ve slept with so many women when I’ve approached them a second or third time when I’m at the gym or my hobbies or just in clubs/bars.

Wasnt trying to be passive agressive. Thats exactly what happened to OP.
You really didn't comprehend anything being said or probably read this thread at all. But it's cool, you like to hear yourself talk.. that's cute.
Nothing says "i need validation" more than not getting what's being said and just talking about yourself.

You go to gyms and do the approaching. Me, I go to gyms to workout and get approached. There's a difference.

Besides anything though im pretty sure you're just someones alt. Idk why anyone would come out of the woodwork wiht only ~30 messages and suddenly start typing longwinded replies in this specific post.

 

[LTG71]

You'd have to understand, like you do, the importance of 'social proof' and how women are attracted to men who are comfortable around women. And how that is not always based on looking like an adonis. The OP doesn't get that yet, but hopefully the reactions in this post help.

Social proof is like a cheat code to bypass the vetting women need to do. If an attractive women speaks highly of you to another women, even if you never dated, it places you at a huge advantage vs doing a cold approach. In the same light, if she says you are a creep, she’ll tell all her friends too. Better place is to be in the positive light, even if you two are not a match.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Every thread he makes he ends up puttung people on his ignore list. Must be crowded up in there

Welcome to the club!

 

[DonJuanjr]

To a woman and her unconscious mind (and old parts of her brain) a woman that doesn’f get attention and validation from men - doesn’t survive.

This is an obvious but profound statement.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Social proof is like a cheat code to bypass the vetting women need to do.

Indeed, they need to vet to weed out the creeps and freaks, so if other women have already done that job, the man is safer to approach.