Better dominant/daddy-game in social situations

[Maxinulm]

Hi fellows,

so i have three examples here of girls i dated/still date. All of them seem to love the dominant-frame. I am not a "player" that has a lot of ONS, but rather a guy, that has a girl he meets from time to time and has a great time with them. I am 35 years old now. When i was younger (like 18-23), i was afraid of showing my dominant (male) side in bed, because i was totally bluewashed by media. But thank god, this changed.

Girl A:

• 27 Years old, HB 7,
• met her for like 10 month, even did a little roadtrip with her
• What she wrote me for example:
• - "I myself are pretty strong in everydaylife and act kind of male and dominant. But when a guy stands up to me like you i become tame.."
• -"love it that i dont have to be the tough woman anymore and can let go with you..."
• -"Normally i am pretty wild and can be pretty harsh if a guy shows weakness... I dont respet him anymore then... I start to humilate him. But when a guy has me under control i become quiet and do everything"

Girl B:

• 25 Years old, HB7
• The girl, that constantly wanted to call me daddy (in bed and sometimes in everyday life)
• From this thread:
• https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/girl-calling-me-daddy.264726/

Girl C:

• 23 Years old, HB6
• I had an ad on the internet where i looked for a girl, that wanted to be taken dominantly from time to time. Nearly only fakes and wankers answered, but after a few months, there was one strike
• She answered and wrote that she wants to be controlled by a man and be totally his
• We met for a few months
• For the first date i bought a dog collar (asked her size first) and put it around her neck before we did the other stuff
• She later brought some toys herself. Dogleash, Ballgag, Hogtie...
• We even had dom/sub contract.
• Tried a lot of kinky stuff with her.
• I always liked porn in which girls swallowed a lot of c$m. And i swear to god. I collected 8 loads in a plastic cup in the freezer. When we had a f$ckdate i put this cup on the table after i played a bit with her. She said somethin like "You didnt really...". I only replied: "Thats why you are here..." and didnt back up from my plan. And she ate the melting c$m-ice with a tea spoon (although i had to ad chocolate sauce to keep her from excessively gagging).
• These girls are crazy. She even told me that she had the phantasy to be led in by her dom on leash and to be demonstrated to other men and maybe used by them afterwards. That wasnt my cup of tea...

So i am not the guy that acts important or pompous in social situations. I look above average. But when a lot of people are there i dont necessarily stand out, because i am not mr talk a lot or talk loud. In fact i hate busybodys (is this the right word? ) and posers. Before i met her, Girl B for example was at a small party i also attended. We said hi at the party and met under other circumstances a few months later. I told her recently that she was also at the same party and she said that she didnt recognize me there.

But on the other hand, when i meet girls or have sex with them i often seem to induce their submissive side, they seem to be pretty comfortable with me and confide their kinkier phantasies to me. Am working in the "teaching"-industry in the broadest sense. Maybe that adds to the effect i have on these girls.

So whats my problem or question:
I have solid dominant/daddy-game in private with girls (i already know).

1. How can i transcend my solid private game to social situations to stand out more?
2. Are there ways to filter for sub girls?
3. Do you have any tipps to get even better in dominant/daddy-game?

I hope this wasnt to long. And i am not a native speaker. So pardon my english

 

[cola]

Look at a lion. No like seriously, observe a lion on YouTube. When they are not hunting they are relaxed, playful, lounging around grooming themselves and each other.. Tackling each other and goofing off.

But when it’s time to hunt. Oh boy, the most ferocious predator on land.

Be like a lion.

 

[Billtx49]

Look at a lion. No like seriously, observe a lion on YouTube. When they are not hunting they are relaxed, playful, lounging around grooming themselves and each other.. Tackling each other and goofing off.

But when it’s time to hunt. Oh boy, the most ferocious predator on land.

Be like a lion.

Female lions do the majority of the hunting. The lion males enjoy true alpha status.
When feeding the fam isn’t the priority, yes, the whole tribe has fun and relaxation …

 

[cola]

Female lions do the majority of the hunting. The lion males enjoy true alpha status.
When feeding the fam isn’t the priority, yes, the whole tribe has fun and relaxation …

While true females do a lot of the hunting, male lions do hunt as well. Especially large prey such as buffalo and giraffe that the females aren’t strong enough to take down.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

So whats my problem or question:
I have solid dominant/daddy-game in private with girls (i already know).

1. How can i transcend my solid private game to social situations to stand out more?
2. Are there ways to filter for sub girls?
3. Do you have any tipps to get even better in dominant/daddy-game?

I hope this wasnt to long. And i am not a native speaker. So pardon my english

Depends, more details of the inventory is necessary.

-Describe your body language and presentation in both private/public settings.

-Describe your languaging as you engage in D/s wordplay.


In reality, I suspect what you are looking for can only be received first by observing and then via training by another Dom IRL.

A lesser substitute would be to watch vids. Vids can’t capture the ‘electricity’ in the air.

 

[Maxinulm]

Look at a lion. No like seriously, observe a lion on YouTube. When they are not hunting they are relaxed, playful, lounging around grooming themselves and each other.. Tackling each other and goofing off.

But when it’s time to hunt. Oh boy, the most ferocious predator on land.

Be like a lion.

Got look at videos of these animals this evening But i think i understand what you want to imply. I should becoma a predator in social/game situations?! But i am not a Bear that stands on the open field, roars out loud and attacks its prey. I am more of a lion/cat, that sneaks in silently, waits behind the bush and when attacking (in private) everything gets crazy and fine. So the lion analogy could be true.
Being loud and posing just doenst seem to be my nature. Have to work on it somehow.

Depends, more details of the inventory is necessary.

-Describe your body language and presentation in both private/public settings.

-Describe your languaging as you engage in D/s wordplay.


In reality, I suspect what you are looking for can only be received first by observing and then via training by another Dom IRL.

A lesser substitute would be to watch vids. Vids can’t capture the ‘electricity’ in the air.

OK, i try to do it, but keept in mind, that i am german and i cant directly translate some words i use with the women. I think the words you choose (and how you present them) are really important when in dom situations. Often differences beetween words are really subtle, even if they basically mean the same:

Example 1:

• Whatsapp:
• -Me: Hi, little girl, looking forward to play with you tonight
• Girl: when will we meet? Looking forward to see my daddy
• Me: Am home at 6. So just come to my appartment at like 7pm.
• Girl...
• Me (later): I expect you to be all wet, when you arrive. You will go to my dining table, take your pants off and bend over. I dont want to remind you about that, when you arrive.

Example 2:
Girl has told me, that she hast got a stiff neck. We make out, i give her a massage. And tell her to hop in my bathtub, because heat helps...
Girl hops in bathtub. after maybe 30 minutes i get into the bathroom, touch her, kiss her and tell her in a quiet, but asservative voice: "in 5 Minutes i will go into my beedroom. You will be waiting for me on the bed. All naked and with your legs spread, so that i can see your p$ssy". After 5 Minutes i come into the beedroom. She lies on bed, but has a bra and panties on. I make out with her and have sex. --> Here i should have persisted that she should be naked and should have no bra on, get out again and see her naked. the next time i come into the room. I did somethin like that a few weeks later... She was really wet...

Languaging and stuff when engaging in Wordplay. With the one girl, i always put on her dog collar, that was the starting point for our game. I trained her to get to her knees directly after that...





Body language and presentation:
In private i dont have a problem touching the girls. Like leading them on the hand, touching their neck when kissing, grobing their hair. I always give them the feeling that i am above them and make them feel small. I sometimes lift them up, sometimes press them against the wall or door when kissing. Hold their hand tight above their head while doing so... Let them lean or lie on my shoulder/on my chest and so give them a space to relax and feel safe. I like listening what the girls say and really give them the feeling, that i dont judge. Tell them, that also females should have a sexual life and wishes adn should not be mistreated or labeled because of this. A lot of girls say, that they are not often able to talk about their sexual wishes as open as they talk about it with me... "You could become a sexual therapist"
ALso heard pretty often, that the way i touch, grope and sometimes spank them is the optimal between too hard and too soft and that a lot of men, when asked to spank or be tough are "only tough" with noo feeling.

In public settings, i am more of an observer, that talks sometime. Dont really stand in the centre of attention. If i meet up, i will talk. But not excessively. In general i am not a person that talks way too much. i can communicate with others. bot generally not to stand out and i dont try to be the toughest/loudest/leader in the group when everyone it talking. Could be because i am an IT guy and pretty rational and logical thinking. I just try to lean back, enjoy and attack, if there is a possibility. Maybe i am to shy and tame when there are many people there. when i engage with a female and have isolated her, i dont have any problems engaging in kino or kissing, ****ing her.

 

[MrWood]

my current plate:
"I love the way you control me sexually, you are my lover, my man"
100% submissive to anything and sex on demand

choke her, spank her ass with my leather belt... finally after total submission, whisper "you are my princess"
and she came 3x in a row

 

[Bible_Belt]

Being dominant is more about doing what you want when you want, than it is about doing any one particular thing.

Sadism is a little more specific in that the pain of another gives you pleasure. That sounds awful, until you are paired with a masochist, who derives pleasure from pain. Then it is the perfect pairing.

 

[MrWood]

actually in my case causing pain has nothing to do with it, im not a sadist in any way.
Girls I have explored this with... I always tell them its not about pain and I dont desire to physically hurt them and have never gone "too far"
I do enjoy the reactions cased by her release of taboo to do unconventional and alternative sexual things.

This girl has fantasies, being submissive, exhibitionism, sexy fashion, seducing another women etc.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Being dominant is more about doing what you want when you want, than it is about doing any one particular thing.

Sadism is a little more specific in that the pain of another gives you pleasure. That sounds awful, until you are paired with a masochist, who derives pleasure from pain. Then it is the perfect pairing.

First there is ‘sensation’ it’s this electrical nerve impulse fundamental that gets processed and interpreted as pain or pleasure.

 

[Maxinulm]

If you’re doing well enough with women then the best person to answer these questions is YOU.

Each of us have many different, unique things going on when we interact with women; things that all together make us who we are, how we play the game, the ways we read women, what we can get away with and what might hurt us.

When it comes to fine tuning how you do things to get better results than before, you have to use your own best judgement in what you think fits your style and how you will apply new things.

It’s trial by fire.

Develop what works for you even further, discard whatever blows you out.

No one else can tell you exactly how to do that.

If you are talking about Question 3: "Do you have any tipps to get even better in dominant/daddy-game?" in private or in bed you are absolutely right! I also feel that just doing what your animal instincts / your fantasy or sexdrive tell you is a good thing. And i noticed if you are authentic in what you do and desire, then women will follow you. For example I met a chick a few years ago and had sex with her a few times. She blew me and on the second date i told her to swallow and she did. After that, i heard that her EX-BF complained that she never gave him a bj. And they had a 3 year relationship... Crazy world we live in.

But anyhow, if anyone has a reccomandation for a webite/literature to get some inspiration, i would appreciate it.



And are there any good things to do when in public, first meeting a girl for example to show that you are the leading part?
When i have them in my world - no problem. First meeting them in social situations is where i see potential for improvement...

My problem could also be that when surrounded by other "alpha" males, i may look intimidated.... Dont know.

 

[Visionist]

Did you pi$$ on that girl like I told you to do yet?

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Got look at videos of these animals this evening But i think i understand what you want to imply. I should becoma a predator in social/game situations?! But i am not a Bear that stands on the open field, roars out loud and attacks its prey. I am more of a lion/cat, that sneaks in silently, waits behind the bush and when attacking (in private) everything gets crazy and fine. So the lion analogy could be true.
Being loud and posing just doenst seem to be my nature. Have to work on it somehow.

The most Dom guys in the room are not the loudest.
Only in certain situations and circumstances that require it.
Dom are in control, not controlling.


OK, i try to do it, but keept in mind, that i am german and i cant directly translate some words i use with the women. I think the words you choose (and how you present them) are really important when in dom situations. Often differences beetween words are really subtle, even if they basically mean the same:

Yes. You have a fundamental grasp of a nuance that single language people do not understand. Your written English is very good.


Example 1:

• Whatsapp:
• -Me: Hi, little girl, looking forward to play with you tonight
• Girl: when will we meet? Looking forward to see my daddy
• Me: Am home at 6. So just come to my appartment at like 7pm.
• Girl...
• Me (later): I expect you to be all wet, when you arrive. You will go to my dining table, take your pants off and bend over. I dont want to remind you about that, when you arrive.
• 
  Did she acknowledge the direction, comply in action?

Example 2:
Girl has told me, that she hast got a stiff neck. We make out, i give her a massage. And tell her to hop in my bathtub, because heat helps...
Girl hops in bathtub. after maybe 30 minutes i get into the bathroom, touch her, kiss her and tell her in a quiet, but asservative voice: "in 5 Minutes i will go into my beedroom. You will be waiting for me on the bed. All naked and with your legs spread, so that i can see your p$ssy". After 5 Minutes i come into the beedroom. She lies on bed, but has a bra and panties on. I make out with her and have sex. --> Here i should have persisted that she should be naked and should have no bra on, get out again and see her naked. the next time i come into the room. I did somethin like that a few weeks later... She was really wet...

She tested you and you failed to hold frame. This sounds like a initial experience with her.

After your direction and she were not to comply, simply say, ‘That’s 1,...’
Her: ‘1 what?’
You: ‘You want to please me, don’t you?’
(This is a tag question, it takes any statement and makes it into a yes/no response. You are guiding her into sub-space which has many levels of trance. Trance is simply awareness going within vs having attention on the exterior world. People go into/outof trance throughout the day. An example is driving a car and one is lost in thought until you arrive at your destination.
You as Dom are cognizant of this phenomenon and leading her into submission and the surrendering of her monkey mind so that she can be fully emerged in her body and sensations and more importantly the anticipation of the sensations about to be. This is a mental space that you as a man bring your presence, bearing and frame to.)

Her: ‘Yes!’
You: Flip her on her stomach and softly rub her ass,... ‘You failed to take off your panties and spread your legs’ (playful/serious)... raise hand suspend in the air.... ‘1!’ ... commanding tone and a nice smack on her butt,...
Her: giggle/gasp/moan
You: ‘Now on your back and DO as I SAY!’
Her: complies or not, doesn’t matter either way she wins and some subs like to ‘non-comply/resist/protest’ as part of the fun.


Languaging and stuff when engaging in Wordplay. With the one girl, i always put on her dog collar, that was the starting point for our game. I trained her to get to her knees directly after that...

Good. For lack of a better way to say it, dog training through positive reinforcement are good reference material to use for training women to be submissive.

Comments within quoted text.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Did you pi$$ on that girl like I told you to do yet?

Not all are into that kink. A Dom tailors the experiences to their sub boundaries and expectations.

It’s the willingness to follow and submit that is the source of the power exchange.

 

[Visionist]

What's the best way to suggest such depravity? My idea would be to finger her into a frenzy and suddenly stop, tell her she's gonna drink my piss, and if she refuses, leave her high & dry there & then.

Carrot & stick.

 

[Maxinulm]

Did you pi$$ on that girl like I told you to do yet?

Na, i didnt. Didnt meet her since writing about that. But i have the gut feeling, that this could be too much for her....
I think being dom is not about forcing your phantasy on the woman no matter what! Its more about doing your thing, holding frame but paying extra attention to what the woman desires and what makes her horny and what not. Its a thin line, but if you get it, the women will be able to let go even more and you have even more fun. Its kind of a positive "vicious circle".

A man only f$cking a girls ass like a caveman for example, will not succed as often as a dom setting the right mindset in her, creating a setting that she can let go, catering her needs, doing his thing and give her time to prepare her butt (but not too much time --> thin line again...)

Did she acknowledge the direction, comply in action?

Yes she did, only had to look at her firmly, when she entered my appartment. She bent over the table and showed her bare ass and p$ssy...

She tested you and you failed to hold frame. This sounds like a initial experience with her.

After your direction and she were not to comply, simply say, ‘That’s 1,...’
Her: ‘1 what?’
You: ‘You want to please me, don’t you?’
(This is a tag question, it takes any statement and makes it into a yes/no response. You are guiding her into sub-space which has many levels of trance. Trance is simply awareness going within vs having attention on the exterior world. People go into/outof trance throughout the day. An example is driving a car and one is lost in thought until you arrive at your destination.
You as Dom are cognizant of this phenomenon and leading her into submission and the surrendering of her monkey mind so that she can be fully emerged in her body and sensations and more importantly the anticipation of the sensations about to be. This is a mental space that you as a man bring your presence, bearing and frame to.)

Her: ‘Yes!’
You: Flip her on her stomach and softly rub her ass,... ‘You failed to take off your panties and spread your legs’ (playful/serious)... raise hand suspend in the air.... ‘1!’ ... commanding tone and a nice smack on her butt,...
Her: giggle/gasp/moan
You: ‘Now on your back and DO as I SAY!’
Her: complies or not, doesn’t matter either way she wins and some subs like to ‘non-comply/resist/protest’ as part of the fun.

Yes, this was the inititial "dom-experience" between us. And i didnt hold frame. And i really like your tag question!!!!Big thumbs up
And the philsophical aspect of the sub-space is also great! The stuff you present is exactly what I was looking for...

And i will also try to read about dog training / positive reinforcement