Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Best way to tell a girl you want nothing serious?

GoldenArrow

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
36
Reaction score
26
Age
38
Suppose all you want to do with a girl is chill and have sex when you're bored, but she really likes you and expects you to commit to her and become serious, what would you say to her?
You know she's gonna threaten to stop sleeping with you with lines like "I'm not just here for sex" or "i don't like being used" or "if this is not going anywhere, let's stop seeing each other". I respect that continuing to have something casual may not be something she's after, and am prepared to let her go if she stops seeing me, but it'd obviously be ideal for me if I could just have her on my radar if she's got company and good in bed.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,586
Reaction score
7,447
Location
USA, Louisiana
Find women who want what you want. If she wants a relationship and you don't.... nothing you 'say' is going to fix anything.

It's not rocket science, if she gives you the 'what are we' speech tell her what she is to you. If she' a fvck buddy... then that's what it is. Don't lie.... I know there are guys out there that try to game this... it's just not worth it.

If she wants a relationship and you don't, and she walks away because of it... just let her go... move onto the next one. If you feel like you don't have options... go get options... if you can't get options.... then focus on self improvement and not chicks.
 

Ohso-Phresh

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
368
Reaction score
279
Suppose all you want to do with a girl is chill and have sex when you're bored, but she really likes you and expects you to commit to her and become serious, what would you say to her?
You know she's gonna threaten to stop sleeping with you with lines like "I'm not just here for sex" or "i don't like being used" or "if this is not going anywhere, let's stop seeing each other". I respect that continuing to have something casual may not be something she's after, and am prepared to let her go if she stops seeing me, but it'd obviously be ideal for me if I could just have her on my radar if she's got company and good in bed.
“Cool, I’ve found when we acknowledge the good then things progress naturally and organically to be the best way. I understand how you feel and have enjoyed our time together and look forward to the next time we share the connection that we do have.
In our time apart, I want you to list all the things you like and enjoy about me, it’s only through that we can savor our time together.”

or

“Cool, ok, bye!”
 
Last edited:
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
141
Reaction score
118
Age
31
Suppose all you want to do with a girl is chill and have sex when you're bored, but she really likes you and expects you to commit to her and become serious, what would you say to her?
You know she's gonna threaten to stop sleeping with you with lines like "I'm not just here for sex" or "i don't like being used" or "if this is not going anywhere, let's stop seeing each other". I respect that continuing to have something casual may not be something she's after, and am prepared to let her go if she stops seeing me, but it'd obviously be ideal for me if I could just have her on my radar if she's got company and good in bed.
Common scenario bro.

2 things here I've noticed:

1) Chicks usually clue in in the first 15 mins of knowing me that I don't do the whole relationship thing. I imagine its a vibe or impression I give off. Obviously I don't know you personally but maybe take some time to think about what impression you give off on average.

2) In the sense that a hypothetical chick might say something about feeling used, it still comes back to the initial context set from when you meet. If they know, at the core level; you are not a dude who does relationships, they will still test you but the tests are meaningless consistency checks. I.E. they serve the function of answering the question "are you still the person you say you are." To which the only right answer is yes. If she still tries to pursue a relationship you've done your role and she'll clue on and if she wants a relationship that bad she'll find someone else.

Cheers!
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,537
Reaction score
1,202
Age
43
Find women who want what you want. If she wants a relationship and you don't.... nothing you 'say' is going to fix anything.

It's not rocket science, if she gives you the 'what are we' speech tell her what she is to you. If she' a fvck buddy... then that's what it is. Don't lie.... I know there are guys out there that try to game this... it's just not worth it.

If she wants a relationship and you don't, and she walks away because of it... just let her go... move onto the next one. If you feel like you don't have options... go get options... if you can't get options.... then focus on self improvement and not chicks.
Most accurate, has lots of values in it.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,183
Reaction score
3,850
As a general rule, women like to feel valued.
"I really value your maturity. Some women are too up tight about life. You recognize that we have good sexual chemistry and a good friendship and I like that. "
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
This might help you. Start at 8:28

 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,663
Reaction score
8,553
Age
46
"So what are you looking for?"-

Most women will pop this question at some point. Some sooner than later.
I have one approach that I consider being a "one size fits all" approach. No matter if I have been single for 3 months or 2 years, its the same.

My response:

"Since I am recently single I am enjoying doing me right now. Ultimately I would like to find someone to invest in but I am not in a hurry. If the right person comes along things will move naturally".

I dont see the need to tell a chick that you are looking for something casual or a relationship. Why eliminate women that are looking for something casual? Why eliminate the woman looking for a relationship?

We (I) will still fvck the women looking for a relationship and who knows, maybe she will check all of my boxes and there could be a relationship with her.

We (I) will still fvck the chick that is just casually dating. I will also not be needy, jealous or clingy. I will still do my thing. Ultimately that is what will separate me from the other guys she is talking to, and ultimately even though she isnt looking for a relationship, she could very well start chasing me and want to enter one with me.

But the key is this: I will make those determinations and not her.

Its my job to lead and provide fun date experiences and fvck her. She will want to revisit that feeling of being around a social and charismatic guy like myself, who doesnt show beta traits, and that is high value in her eyes. Treat her like she wants it in bed and have her coming back for more.

You need to please the masses for your own benefit.

Example: I own a business. Even though I might not agree with how some people think on certain issues, why would I want to be outspoken against them and lose their business? I just keep my mouth shut and take their money. No reason to create a barrier when there doesnt need to be one in place.

Same goes with chicks. I dont see why you wouldnt go along with whatever they wanted and see what happens.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
3,716
Reaction score
1,470
Age
27
"So what are you looking for?"-

Most women will pop this question at some point. Some sooner than later.
I have one approach that I consider being a "one size fits all" approach. No matter if I have been single for 3 months or 2 years, its the same.

My response:

"Since I am recently single I am enjoying doing me right now. Ultimately I would like to find someone to invest in but I am not in a hurry. If the right person comes along things will move naturally".

I dont see the need to tell a chick that you are looking for something casual or a relationship. Why eliminate women that are looking for something casual? Why eliminate the woman looking for a relationship?

We (I) will still fvck the women looking for a relationship and who knows, maybe she will check all of my boxes and there could be a relationship with her.

We (I) will still fvck the chick that is just casually dating. I will also not be needy, jealous or clingy. I will still do my thing. Ultimately that is what will separate me from the other guys she is talking to, and ultimately even though she isnt looking for a relationship, she could very well start chasing me and want to enter one with me.

But the key is this: I will make those determinations and not her.

Its my job to lead and provide fun date experiences and fvck her. She will want to revisit that feeling of being around a social and charismatic guy like myself, who doesnt show beta traits, and that is high value in her eyes. Treat her like she wants it in bed and have her coming back for more.

You need to please the masses for your own benefit.

Example: I own a business. Even though I might not agree with how some people think on certain issues, why would I want to be outspoken against them and lose their business? I just keep my mouth shut and take their money. No reason to create a barrier when there doesnt need to be one in place.

Same goes with chicks. I dont see why you wouldnt go along with whatever they wanted and see what happens.
That business example reminds me of 48 Laws of Power: "Think as you like, but behave like others"
 

bcude

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
764
Reaction score
1,219
Age
42
They are all biologically programmed to want to capture you into a relationship sooner or later if you exhibit value and you spend enough time together, so you will eventually have to make the decision if that's what you want or not. However, i've found the best approach in dating in general is always to do exactly what women do themselves that make men go crazy, in this case what women do when they dangle the golden P in front of a guy like a tasty carrot, since women have the power when it comes to sex and men the power when it comes to relationships. Use that to your benefit. Ambiguity is your friend.
Let her talk which is soothing her, don't disagree but don't commit either. Just move the conversation along without agreeing to anything. "you think that? aha.", "I like where we're at. Let's see about that".

In negotiation, the most powerful position is not defining yourself to anything and to gather as much information as possible until the very last moment where you can make the best decision, for YOU. Use the same approach here.
The purpose of this is not to string her along because you know for 100% fact that you wont commit to her. It's more having the mindset of "let the best woman win".
The big mistake i see many men do is to bring up the conversation themselves when they already have a good thing going just because the woman says X, but does Y so they become insecure and want to be 'certain'.
 

crosscheck1331

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 25, 2020
Messages
50
Reaction score
61
Age
26
You just tell her brother so there is no confusion. I suppose there are ways you can get around, by being almost manipulative almost, but I can't see a situation where there almost always won't be drama after some time. She is bound to get fed up and start accusing you of playing games and being *******. This is what I have seen anyway. By being direct you risk having her walk away but at least you can go ahead with a clear conscience.
 
Top