"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Best way to befriend a chick?

BannedGod

Senior Don Juan
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yep this might sound weird, but there's this girl that I'm close friends with and I'm not interested in dating or whatnot, I'd bang her if the occasion would present itself, but I'm in her "friend zone" so wouldn't happen.

Anyways I always wanted to have at least one very close female friend, and since I'm already close with her, and she's pretty hot, I thought she'd be a great victim :cool: heheh. So all I wanted to know is, what's the best way to be closer to a girl and really strengthen the friendship I have with her, would it be through acting like a chick and talking it stuff, or treating her like a guy and doing fun action stuff with her?

cheers!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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future_strongguy

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Okay, you want a girl as your "close friend." Would you do the same thing with a guy? "He's a great guy, and I want to spend some time with him.. just as friends." Sounds kinda gay, right?

Same thing with the girl. It sounds like you still want to bone her, and are lying to yourself about "just being friends."

Best advice: **** it. You want to **** her, right? So do it. You are a man and you do what you want. If she doesn't want to **** you and tells you "we're just friends," tell her that you don't want to be friends, because you really don't.
 

MisterMcGee

Master Don Juan
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You just talk to them. All girls are friends until you start making out and crap
 

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
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You actually want to get deeper in the friendzone?! wow.

Ok here is what you do:

1) make her laugh - entertain her like the court jester that you are, remember she is the queen and you are the clown. Put her on the pedestal.

2) Your queen needs to ride around and to be fed. Offer to take her to a good coffee shop where you pay for her food and drinks. While you feed that b1tch ask her to tell you about her previous relationships and her favourite tv shows. Let her blab away for hours and pretend to laugh at her jokes.

3) Tell her that you feel very connected to her like you knew her for years and tell her that whatever she needs that you would always be there for her.

4) Then go home and jerk off and then cry like the b1tch that you are.

Rinse and repeat the following day.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Corona

Don Juan
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Feb 20, 2008
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Are you serious? You don't know how to make friends with someone???

Just hang out and be nice, it's not too complicated.
 

MascaraSnake

Senior Don Juan
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wow, you guys are killing me. AGAIN.

I have a couple of attractive girls I hang with who I'd never bang (mostly due to the fact that they're honestly not my type).

I just accept the fact that a sexual relationship wouldn't work and hang with them like I would any of my dude friends. If they come onto me I give them the 'you're like a sister' deal, and I don't come onto them. It's not that hard.
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
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Jan 17, 2008
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NY
BannedGod said:
yep this might sound weird, but there's this girl that I'm close friends with and I'm not interested in dating or whatnot, I'd bang her if the occasion would present itself, but I'm in her "friend zone" so wouldn't happen.

Anyways I always wanted to have at least one very close female friend, and since I'm already close with her, and she's pretty hot, I thought she'd be a great victim :cool: heheh. So all I wanted to know is, what's the best way to be closer to a girl and really strengthen the friendship I have with her, would it be through acting like a chick and talking it stuff, or treating her like a guy and doing fun action stuff with her?

cheers!
Just be yourself.


lol Sorry dude I had to say that lmao. But yeah seriously, just treat her like a guy, do normal sh1t, be free to do whatever you want...who knows maybe she'll like your non-needy attitude and start fancying you.:)
 

Bluesteak

Don Juan
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DJDamage said:
You actually want to get deeper in the friendzone?! wow.

4) Then go home and jerk off and then cry like the b1tch that you are.

Rinse and repeat the following day.
LOL!
 

Gia Giovanni

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
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DJDamage said:
You actually want to get deeper in the friendzone?! wow.

Ok here is what you do:

1) make her laugh - entertain her like the court jester that you are, remember she is the queen and you are the clown. Put her on the pedestal.

2) Your queen needs to ride around and to be fed. Offer to take her to a good coffee shop where you pay for her food and drinks. While you feed that b1tch ask her to tell you about her previous relationships and her favourite tv shows. Let her blab away for hours and pretend to laugh at her jokes.

3) Tell her that you feel very connected to her like you knew her for years and tell her that whatever she needs that you would always be there for her.

4) Then go home and jerk off and then cry like the b1tch that you are.

Rinse and repeat the following day.

dumb.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
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May 25, 2008
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T-Dot
DJDamage said:
You actually want to get deeper in the friendzone?! wow.
I`m very confident this will backfire and he won`t be able to get rid of her once he genuinelly just tries to be friends.

Life is weird.


BTW, try to keep the dumb**** down. Thanks.
 

dadmonson

Senior Don Juan
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Treating a girl like your friend might make her want to be more than friends... watchout. You will be doing the exact thing that girls do to guys all the time.
 

SuavePlaya

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Aug 30, 2008
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lol this is a joke. If you want to bang her why the fvck do you want to be deeper in the friend zone... Since your in the friendzone realize that you fvcked up and the situation of you banging her won't ever present itself, so stop hoping that it will happen. It's funny to me you are asking how to get deeper in the friendzone, I mean you are already in the friendzone just keep repeating what you have been doing.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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