"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Best response to a postponed/cancelled date?

B

Buddhistguy

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Hey there,

Looking for some advice on the best way to respond when a girl cancels on a first meeting.

I have been chatting to a girl off the internet for about two weeks. Things were going well, and she gave me her number last week. We spoke twice on the phone, and arranged to meet for coffee tomorrow. Over the weekend, she sent me three e-mails. As I was trying to play it cool, I responded only once in this time. Today, I recieved this e-mail (please keep in mind she is recently arrived from Europe. so her English isn't great)

"Header: No Coffee Tomorrow

Hello dear but I think that would be better is we move the coffe for another day tomorrow I found my self a bit busy... as I need to finish some studies in a short time. SO I think tha could be better if we just meet up another day meaby in the holiday brake... And the problem is also that I'm always busy during the week... Sorry about it, speak to you soon a kiss ****"

Should I treat this as a blowoff and move on? or could she be genuinely busy? Any advice would be appreciated.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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W

Wyldfire

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My son works with a young woman from the Ukraine who came to the US to study and work. The girl works 3 jobs and is studying. It might be that the girl you're talking to is in the same boat and really is very busy.
 
N

nishbuk

Master Don Juan
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Wyldfire could be right...but don't get your hopes up! Where is your backup plan? Are there other girls that you are concentrating on?

If a girl did that to me, I'd call her back only ONE time again. I would wait for about week though. Set a date, then hang up. If she flakes it's a definite "next".

You only ever give a girl 2 chances in the begining. Depending on how she acts, I may only give her one. If a girl is really interested in you, she will cancel her plans to go out on a date with you.
 
D

Derek Flint

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Ask her how she plans on making it up to you.

Always have the stronger frame.
 
K

ketostix

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Oh god, no one's that busy, especially considering she had time to chat, email, and she agreed to the date..Buddhistguy it sounds like a blow off, and I would call her on it. I don't know say maybe to the effect, "you made plans so I expect you to folow through on them or make reasonable alternative plans..." I don't know it's always a tough situation but you might be able to pull back for a few days or a week and call her again, but I'd be moving on while the getting out is good.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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G

Gangster Of Love

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Originally posted by Derek Flint
Ask her how she plans on making it up to you.

Always have the stronger frame.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

Tell her she is on probation, for being flaky, and make fun of her in a funny way, but at the same time saying you won't tolerate it.
 
D

DonJuanMonk

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She could be busy, but consider this a blowoff. Would she make time for some rich guy like Brad Pitt? See the dillemma?

Send her a friendly message hoping you'll meet sometime and don't contact her anymore afterwards. Go about your business, and look forward to spending time with a woman who will not waste your time.

Now if you do what the other guys say which works along the lines of "You messed up, now you must do what I say" - No don't do that. Just wish her well, walk away, live your life.
 
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