"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Being the backup guy sucks!

lexab

Don Juan
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Can you please explain precisely what is so complicated? Are you actually considering continuing a "relationship" with this woman?
No, I am still going to so say goodbye, just had to do it delicately that's all.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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grayclif

Master Don Juan
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No, I am still going to so say goodbye, just had to do it delicately that's all.
She didn't delicately disrespect you and insult you.

The problem is this. You say delicately because you want to make sure she sticks around. And the reason she feels like she can say these type of things to you is because you an emasculated orbiter who won't tell her about her disrepectful tendancies. Man up bro and go no contact.
 
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PantyWhisperer

Master Don Juan
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I agree with the no contact. I am/was/is in a similar situation, except we have had sex once, but she keeps me on the back burner, and like the OP hides or lies current relationships but wants me to mop up when they end. She goes dark or gets snippy every time she is in a relationship, so it's not too hard to tell. I've sort of allowed myself to be in the on deck circle for years, mainly because I don't have to put much in to keep the back burner status. Add to that, she's an HB8 and 31 - I am 50, plus a freak in the sheets so I do tend to put up with a little more to stay in her orbit.
Lately, and being inspired to continue it by these forums, I have had her in NC for 44 days today. That's a personal best. Usually they go no longer than 2-3 weeks before she chirps back in but this time she has an ex-convict boyfriend (who she denies is her boyfriend because "I hate labels") who spends at least 3 nights a week with her. So she has done the normal liking of my occasional social media post, just to sort of kick test me to make sure I'm still in her orbit. I'm like her Personal Floatation device. :)
I do want to see if I can make the full 60 day NC. Also, full disclosure - she is a side piece and I am married. I've been way too beta with this one, in hindsight, which is why she keeps waving in these alpha, bad-boy, white trash dogs. She's a single mom whose mother is raising her kid mostly so the guys don't have to deal with the normal single mom BS. That's why they stay longer than most but even the trash moves on eventually - or mostly she nexts them because she is super shady and always has a flock of Tinder weenies orbiting her.
 
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