"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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being social-advice plz!

suaveplayer

Don Juan
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hey guys,
Im currently working on being more social in school. I seem to connect with ppl well enough, but it only happens in school (basically when ppl are "forced together"). i cant get enough social interaction outside of classes. I know a lot of close friends and girls in classes and we have a great time but it seems to always end at that. and this applies to lunches too. sometimes i dont have ppl to hang out with at lunch, but if you would take every guy or girl that ive talked to earlier that day that would be willing to lunch with me, there would be a long line.

basically, how do i take that next step. any similar experiences? suggestions?

i hope i made sense.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mr. Red

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You have to get involved! Join a sport or a club in school. In my school the most sociable clubs are DECA, FBLA, SkillsUSA, Gaming Club (beware of super nerds), and Drama. If Drama isn't considered a freaky weird people thing then I highly recommend joining it. It changed my life, and my game, when I got the opportunity to make out with a chick in front of an audience of a hundred plus people (scary, I know, just don't faint in her arms.)

When you do join a sport or a club get to know as many people as possible as fast as possible. Just make small talk, they tend to be open to new/potential recruits.

Easy conversation starters:

"Hey, so what kind of activities are there?"

or

"Have you done anything really cool or gone anywhere while in DECA?"


After that when you see familiar faces at lunch just sit next to them and say "hey." See what classes they are taking or what their post high school plans are. Those are the two easiest topics to talk about.

Best of luck, you'll be fine.
 

CaptainJ

Master Don Juan
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It's easier than you think to make friends. If you're only hanging out with these people in lessons, then do what you are already thinking of doing, go hang out with them at lunch. It's not like you are going to be shunned or shooed off. If you get on with them, they won't object to your company. Just make sure you don't stand there saying nothing except to chuckle at someone's joke, you will look like a loser. Get involved in their conversations and crack jokes etc. Act like they are the people you will naturally hang out with and they will actually start to think you are part of the group.

If you ever get the idea though that they want to ditch you (Shouldn't happen unless you are a social retard, which you aren't) then just make an excuse to say you have something important to do and you are busy, that way you blow them off, and they don't end up gossiping about you "OMG that guy always comes over and follows us, i don't even know him!"
 

Fluid

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serusly off topic, but i spend the past year becoming anti social, if u want i can tell u what i did and im pretty sure if u do the opposite ud be fine
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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Here's what I always do at parties, it sort of ties in with the 3 second rule, when you make eye contact with a girl you like, stop her and say "Hey! I know you!" even if you really don't know her. If she starts asking "Really? From where I can't seem to recall you?" Start making stuff up like "Oh man hmmmm I know I've seen you though," and just start the conversation from there.
 
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