"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Being seen with another girl (I'm new and in need of wisdom)

LeFrenchie

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First post here and looking for sage advice to help in my transition from AFC to DJ...

Came out of a LTR a while back and developed some pretty bad AFC tendencies (I shake my head in disbelief at some of the things I did) while getting a hold on the whole single thing.

Slowly getting my act together, with help from Sosuave.

So here's my predicament: Have this HB8 that I used to work with, we went out a while back but then she got into a relationship and I allowed it to get too close to the friendzone so I cut off all contact.

Single again, she's been emailing/texting me and we caught up for lunch last week. We've spoken a bit since and I was planning to meet up again but in the interim I bumped into her while I was hanging out with a girl she works with and it was a bit awkward.

So to the DJs out there, answer me this: Will being seen with this other girl affect my chances? Should I bring it up with the HB8 or just act like it never happened?

Appreciate any words of wisdom from you DJs...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Falcon25

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Here are the people who attend lunches; family members, business partners, homosexual men who just met and want to get to know each other.
Be bold, and aggressive, as her for drinks. Tell her you are single and just mingling with other girls but would like TO TAKE HER OUT on Thursday. Be bold.
 

jophil28

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LeFrenchie said:
So to the DJs out there, answer me this: Will being seen with this other girl affect my chances? Should I bring it up with the HB8 or just act like it never happened?

...
It is almost certain that HB8 has interrogated her co-worker about you.
And it a truism around here that women are attracted to men who are popular with other women.
Ya dig ?
 

LeFrenchie

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^ Seems you may have been right...

Went out again - no mention of the sighting - and everything went really well. I did a little bit of kino (it was reciprocated and in hindsight I should probably have done more) but didn't go for the kiss-close this time around - probably due to some lasting AFC tendencies (give me a break I'm still a work in progress) but also I didn't want to come on too strong given I made that mistake last time around with my AFC moves and pushed her away.

Following the the DJ wisdom and going on an action date (tennis) later in the week. I figure this will give me plenty of opportunity to step up the kino and escalate in general.

Would welcome some words of critique on today's date (it'll help with the move from AFC to DJ) and thoughts about the next date plans.
 
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