Being resentful towards women

[bish0p]

Well, I've been on a crazy ride these past few weeks and I'm trying to learn as much about myself as possible so that I can handle my emotions better in the future.

Basically, my story is, I lost my apartment, my job, and more recently lost my girlfriend (who I never really wanted until she started pushing me away). This has all taken a toll on me and has caused me to re-evaluate position in life.

Anyways, on another forum, I wrote about a possible subconscious disdain that I may have for humanity. But, because I focused so much on my ex, I didn’t get a chance to delve deeper into the aforementioned problem. So, I did some research on this and came upon the term, misanthropist. I've heard of this word before, but never really knew what it meant until now.

In general, I have a lot of distrust of others....in particularly, women. I never trusted the girls I'd been with...especially since I’ve learned that all girls have this “inner slut” in them.

This was hard for me to accept, because I've always put girls on pedestals. Even after learning all of this stuff 6-7 years ago, I still want to believe that girls are special flowers and not sluts...that when they say they are virgins, they really are virgins.

This subconscious belief causes me to be extra nice to women and feel guilt whenever I treat a woman bad.
But, when women do not conform to this subconscious belief that I have about them (such as my ex), I feel the anger grow….and I don’t want it anymore.

I know that if I let the anger and distrust consume me, then I will never get the women I actually want, because I won’t put a lot of effort into it.
However, learning as much as I have about women as I have (I still feel like I don't know **** about them), this has caused me to distrust every woman out there….particularly after the incident with my ex. I know that time heals all wounds, but I can’t shake the feeling that this will only strengthen the distrust I have for women in general. This is what scares me.

I’m still lacking the confidence that I want. I still feel as if I am not good enough for the women that I am attracted to even though I have had success with the stuff that I have learned. Furthermore, I still use them for self-validation in every way, even though I know I’m not supposed to.
I really would like to correct this and fix this issue of mine. I know that there are no quick fixes, but I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’m getting frustrated.

Last thing, I know that I should focus on getting a new job (or career), and a new apartment before all else (i.e. women). But, I really don’t know what I want to do. I have a few ideas running through my head, but since losing my ex, I’ve lost all motivation to do anything….and I have to force myself to go out and do things (search for a job, hanging with friends, approaching other women) versus actually wanting to do these things.

 

[hover411]

ooookay

*starts the slow clap.....*

 

[Energizer]

Do you masturbate?

 

[bish0p]

haha...can't say I expected those responses. But that's fine, I've recently been learning to up in order to get this stuff out.

These are things that I have had to deal with for a while now, so seriously, if you don't have any real advice, don't post in here.

Energizer, yes, I do masturbate, though, not as much as I used to...I contribute it to stress and anxiety at this point.

Also, I work out, get massages, meditate, hang out with friends, go to the beach for walks, make music, as well as other forms of therapeutic stress relievers.

So, trust me when I say that I'm no where near as bad as I used to be.

 

[hover411]

dude,

it was a FRAT post, then when i read it anyways, there was no question or anything. to me it just seemed like a self-rant/self therapy session in which you were talking to yourself.

 

[bish0p]

dude,

it was a FRAT post, then when i read it anyways, there was no question or anything. to me it just seemed like a self-rant/self therapy session in which you were talking to yourself.

That's fine (what's a FRAT post anyway?).

But, I was hoping I would be able to get some specific pointers on how to work these things out...possibly, something that I might be missing.

 

[hover411]

fck reading all that- FRAT

as for advice...

1) get yourself together. get a job, and your own place. confidence comes from self respect, and being somewhat successful and knowing your direction in life will give you that.

2) don't kid yourself about your disdain for others, especially women. Everyone has an inner freak, guys and girls. it is just to the extent that we carry out our compulsions that matters. if you are willing to have one-night-stands, don't consider a girl a slut for doing the same. if you don't believe in them, go to church or some place where other women share your feelings.

3) quit being so damn negative and enjoy life. nobody likes to hang out with a negative person. I don't even know you and you really seem like a lame person to hang out with.

4) once you can look in the mirror and be proud of yourself, like yourself, and have a positive fun attitude, then you can go looking for the hotties with confidence, and they will want to hang out with you.

 

[bish0p]

lol...nice kick in the ass there

 

[Cinamon]

So, what exactly are you looking for in a woman. A virgin girly girl who never lies? You should meet my mate Katie, but mind you, i think she tells little white lies.

 

[bish0p]

So, what exactly are you looking for in a woman. A virgin girly girl who never lies? You should meet my mate Katie, but mind you, i think she tells little white lies.

I'm just trying to get used to the idea that women like sex as just as men do and that most of them have had sex with a number of men.

I usually do okay with this (that is if I'm only going for a ONS or FB) until I get into a relationship and the girl I'm with says she's only had like 3-5 partners, or that she is a virgin.

Now, I just have hard time trusting women when they say that they've only slept with a few guys and this brings up trust issues for me.

It's my insecurities that I need to get over because I've slept around quite a bit as well and I don't want to be so judgmental of women.

 

[Da Realist]

You're living in your head. You have this image of how the world should be and reality isn't matching up. You should have the nice girl, the apartment, and the job, but you woke up to hell one morning without anybody warning you.

What should you do? Soemthing. Anything. Just don't sit and think about how everything has gone wrong. You know why? Because in the grand scheme of things you have no control. You hit a wall and it hurt. But count yourself lucky that it hasn't killed you like some other people. Wake up every day knowing the world is going to give you crap at sometime and make a decision to face it.

As far as the resentment goes, it's best to let it go. There's no quick method of doing it other than just realizing that all it does is eat you up from the inside. It takes away your moments of peace. It keeps you up at night. It distances you from people when you really need them the most. So make it up in your mind that you will not resent her because it will just burden you further while she gets to live somewhat happily.

 

[bish0p]

Thank you, Da Realist....all I can say is that I will do it. I will succeed again.

 

[Energizer]

So, what exactly are you looking for in a woman. A virgin girly girl who never lies? You should meet my mate Katie, but mind you, i think she tells little white lies.

British women for the best part are total sl*ts, I would dare say she is lying. When a British woman isn't shopping or sexing, she's lying.

 

[SamePendo]

You lost your job and your place to live and you are worried about some ho? Come on! Your time is too valuable to be spent even thinking about that ho. If you are frustrated, all the better, go and hit the gym. Get angry, get very angry.
Stop worrying about women, Treat women as kids, and remember, you are too good for chicks. And if you're not too good enough, ok, then focus on being first good enough, and then too good for them.

 

[bish0p]

You lost your job and your place to live and you are worried about some ho? Come on! Your time is too valuable to be spent even thinking about that ho. If you are frustrated, all the better, go and hit the gym. Get angry, get very angry.

Hey, you're preaching to the choir. :yes: I don't know what the hell my problem is. Like I said in another thread, I didn't even like this woman and in the past, whenever I tried to end it, it would hurt for a couple days, but I was over it and back out in the field, working out, and looking for jobs.

Like I mentioned earlier, I think that I started getting rejected so much after breaking up with her a couple of months ago, that I may have lost some confidence.

So, I started seeing the good things about her and completely neglected the negative aspects (which definitely outweighed the good) because maybe a part of me felt like I had to settle.

I have no idea what is going on with my emotions right now. It's like she's some damn witch or something and she put a voodoo curse on me. She did tell me that she was into witchcraft at one time.

Stop worrying about women

I want to, but I don't. The reason being is, that I always put this off, especially when I meet a new girl. I've had the same goal for almost 4 years now....approach a new girl everyday for 2 months. Well, you get the picture.

When I get my life back on track, I don't want to still be nervous when approaching women. I want to be happy with who I am now, despite my situation and still be able to get women even when I'm at my worst.

Even while writing this out, I realize that I only want this because I keep thinking that women will bring me ultimate happiness....even though I've told myself countless times that this is not true.

 

[Tyson420]

I'm resentful towards women too, nothing wrong with that. I manipulate them, use them, and I **** them. Because I hate them, they don't deserve kindness from me.

I have to admit, I was pushed aside by every girl I liked. What I do is just revenge now.

 

[bish0p]

I'm genuinely curious here, Tyson...are you happy with yourself?

Because from my understanding, having so much hatred towards someone or a group of people brings unhappiness.

This is why I don't want the hatred....well, I wouldn't say hatred, just anger and distrust and only towards really attractive women who think that they are the ****.

 

[SamePendo]

I want to, but I don't.

You are completely responsible for your actions. You have total control over them.

If you want to resent them, do that. Get angry as I said. Get mad. Approach them do your thing, whatever you want. But, don't ever stop doing things that are productive, as I said, your art, your body, your mind.

Something worth noting:

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" Yoda

1) You are fearing something.
2) Somewhere along the way you must switch gears or you will suffer, use this as a propulsor.

 

[bish0p]

You are completely responsible for your actions. You have total control over them.

If you want to resent them, do that. Get angry as I said. Get mad. Approach them do your thing, whatever you want. But, don't ever stop doing things that are productive, as I said, your art, your body, your mind.

Something worth noting:

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" Yoda

1) You are fearing something.
2) Somewhere along the way you must switch gears or you will suffer, use this as a propulsor.

I've been trying to figure out what that fear is for the past 6 years. It's something bigger than women and I don't know what it is.

I think it may be fear of success, but how does someone actually fear success?

Maybe I just fear criticism from others because I'm so critical of myself.

 

[SamePendo]

I've been trying to figure out what that fear is for the past 6 years. It's something bigger than women and I don't know what it is.

I think it may be fear of success, but how does someone actually fear success?

Maybe I just fear criticism from others because I'm so critical of myself.

Don't worry about that.
Focus on growing, building, creating. If you need to get your "high" now and then by approaching/dating/sexing women, go ahead, but don't ever stop growing, building and creating. Do it in a resentful manner, angry, pissed off, happy, joyful, in whatever way you want to do it, but just do it. Grow, build, create.