I've noticed 2 types of scenarios for most people on this forum and perhaps it may even be true for the majority of men in a general format.
Most guys that go through bad experiences with women learn from their mistakes and seem to get a better grasp on how to handle women and after reading the DJ Bible are able to get back into the whole dating phase and have feelings for women again. What i do tend to notice is that these guys always somehow slowly retrace the steps of falling back into afc mode overtime. They always somehow bounceback again and go through this same process.
The latter type is the guy who is shellshocked. He is still attracted to women but never recovers that head over heels feeling or falls into the white knight syndrome. These guys generally turn in cold lady killers who have the ability to pull women do to their understanding of the game and indifference towards all the sh1t test women throw at them.
The first type has it's ups and downs as they tends to experience that so called love but also can get broken down and then they rinse and repeat. They're somewhat AFC's with dj knowledge and experience. They put themselves on the line and risk being hurt but in return they also FEEL. It's good to feel. It's an exhilarating feeling when you gamble and win, but when you lose, you also still feel alive.
The second is the kind that they rarely feel any strong emotions, they lack the ability to trust or choose not to, and possibly lack the courage to even put themselves in a situation to feel or rationalize to themselves not to. They risk nothing and in the end lose nothing. They go through the motions of building up notches on their belts without any commitment. These guys may even get a girlfriend but it's never anyone they can't live without. These guys are the type that is best described as jaded.
I'm something like the latter and another poster who seems to fit that mold is BDJ. I used to enjoy the thrill of chasing women, winning their hearts and getting them flustered. Having them get me flustered and the back and forth game until we would both give in and fall head over heels. I have not experienced that feeling since my last traumatic break-up. I've slept with a handful of girls since then and have had many others fall for me but i'd prefer to be alone. In a sense it's actually very useful for me as i'm able to focus on my career and get sh1t done. Girls don't rile me up and steer me off course. I dictate how i want them to act and if they don't act that way, i move on. I really don't give a sh1t what they think or feel. It sounds all good and dandy and lots of guys think it's awesome to be able to pull women and get make-outs, dirty pics, and ONS. But for some reason, i'd trade it all in to be that afc that can fall head over heels for someone and feel again.
Sure, it may be easier to see things more clearly/logical and dictate how you want things to end but i also don't see anything substantial gained from banging a girl i have no feelings for. But i've done it. I used to believe what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger but i thought i'd be able to have normal relationships and be able to manage myself and the relationship better going forward and become a DJ. Instead, i feel like i've become a shell of bitterness. I don't want attachment or a relationship. I don't want headaches. I do have a sex drive but outside of that, i just want to be alone and do my one thing. Atleast that's what i instinctively do and put myself in those positions. Anytime i try to do otherwise, i just feel nothing.
Any of the older guys been the latter type and have recovered. FYI i've been pretty jaded for 5 years now. I thought it was enlightenment when i came to this site, but now i feel like I was shellshocked.
Most guys that go through bad experiences with women learn from their mistakes and seem to get a better grasp on how to handle women and after reading the DJ Bible are able to get back into the whole dating phase and have feelings for women again. What i do tend to notice is that these guys always somehow slowly retrace the steps of falling back into afc mode overtime. They always somehow bounceback again and go through this same process.
The latter type is the guy who is shellshocked. He is still attracted to women but never recovers that head over heels feeling or falls into the white knight syndrome. These guys generally turn in cold lady killers who have the ability to pull women do to their understanding of the game and indifference towards all the sh1t test women throw at them.
The first type has it's ups and downs as they tends to experience that so called love but also can get broken down and then they rinse and repeat. They're somewhat AFC's with dj knowledge and experience. They put themselves on the line and risk being hurt but in return they also FEEL. It's good to feel. It's an exhilarating feeling when you gamble and win, but when you lose, you also still feel alive.
The second is the kind that they rarely feel any strong emotions, they lack the ability to trust or choose not to, and possibly lack the courage to even put themselves in a situation to feel or rationalize to themselves not to. They risk nothing and in the end lose nothing. They go through the motions of building up notches on their belts without any commitment. These guys may even get a girlfriend but it's never anyone they can't live without. These guys are the type that is best described as jaded.
I'm something like the latter and another poster who seems to fit that mold is BDJ. I used to enjoy the thrill of chasing women, winning their hearts and getting them flustered. Having them get me flustered and the back and forth game until we would both give in and fall head over heels. I have not experienced that feeling since my last traumatic break-up. I've slept with a handful of girls since then and have had many others fall for me but i'd prefer to be alone. In a sense it's actually very useful for me as i'm able to focus on my career and get sh1t done. Girls don't rile me up and steer me off course. I dictate how i want them to act and if they don't act that way, i move on. I really don't give a sh1t what they think or feel. It sounds all good and dandy and lots of guys think it's awesome to be able to pull women and get make-outs, dirty pics, and ONS. But for some reason, i'd trade it all in to be that afc that can fall head over heels for someone and feel again.
Sure, it may be easier to see things more clearly/logical and dictate how you want things to end but i also don't see anything substantial gained from banging a girl i have no feelings for. But i've done it. I used to believe what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger but i thought i'd be able to have normal relationships and be able to manage myself and the relationship better going forward and become a DJ. Instead, i feel like i've become a shell of bitterness. I don't want attachment or a relationship. I don't want headaches. I do have a sex drive but outside of that, i just want to be alone and do my one thing. Atleast that's what i instinctively do and put myself in those positions. Anytime i try to do otherwise, i just feel nothing.
Any of the older guys been the latter type and have recovered. FYI i've been pretty jaded for 5 years now. I thought it was enlightenment when i came to this site, but now i feel like I was shellshocked.