You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
And there's you're biggest problem. A woman's PRIMARY need and desire is to find a man who displays leadership qualities. Now if you go around having no interest in leading anyone, you have precisely zero chance of truly attracting a woman.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The major thing that impresses them is strength of character. That makes sense to me. We are attracted to that which we lack.
Women lack a sense of character?
I've said over and over on this forum that the man has to be the source of what is morally appropriate, because you for damn sure cannot depend on or allow the woman to set it. Unfortunately, too many men are just wrapped up into their own hedonism. And society continues to circle the toilet.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well I employ people twice my age and with 100x the experience that I have. I definitely have leadership qualities. I don't necessarily desire to lead other guys because I don't really care enough. Those are the games of youth. But no guys lead me, other than societal structures itself such as the law/criminal justice system obviously has certain sway over my actions. But the point of the post was leading a girl. Lead her to do what? Is she going to want to flip houses with me? I don't think that would work for either of us.
Well I employ people twice my age and with 100x the experience that I have. I definitely have leadership qualities. I don't necessarily desire to lead other guys because I don't really care enough. Those are the games of youth. But no guys lead me, other than societal structures itself such as the law/criminal justice system obviously has certain sway over my actions. But the point of the post was leading a girl. Lead her to do what? Is she going to want to flip houses with me? I don't think that would work for either of us.
Strength, my bad
Can you explain this? It’s news to me
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
No. Leading someone on a "date" has nothing to do with the real world.
@RichardTheFrog
I lead a business that I guarantee will make me $1 million profit within 5 years. I can do all of this without even interacting with a single female. There's a large world out there that has nothing to do with "women."
You’re on the wrong forum.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Damn,lol. Excellent post,Atom.
You have asked a lot of questions in this forum, and people have given you solid gold, but you refuse to accept it because you allow your old, ineffective attitudes to filter it out. The nature of your questions indicate that you haven't gotten it figured out, and then when people who DO have it figured out offer to help you, you reject it out of hand because you are so "certain" that your perspective is correct, even though your perspective has not allowed you to improve with women.
@RichardTheFrog
Maybe I know more than you?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
