Being brutal and taking advantage of others is attractive

[Serenity]

Speaking only for myself it was a way of suppressing ‘negative’ emotions and employing certain sets of behaviors to navigate a world that was dangerous and uncertain, due to lack of any sort of proper parental guide in childhood. It’s essentially like learning the language the wrong way, yes you can speak it but then you don’t know how to explain any of its concepts and you certainly don’t have any ability to read and write. You don’t even realize until you start to have others correct you and then instead of embracing that information you fight back against it aggressively because that info was shared with you in a rage likely by someone close to you that’s hit a breakpoint.

So yes, you are going to generally attract people that are willing to live with Emotional and personal deregulation, but I don’t think the behaviors are generally a massive performance as that would be exhausting and near impossible. I think my own experience is that a shyt ton of people were absolutely floored as it related to the state of my former marriage, almost nobody notices it because on the outside you look perfect. I think a few people see it, those people may lean more my way than they care to admit.

I totally get what you're saying. I had a troublesome upbringing myself and it's 100% the reason I had to, among other things, seek out this forum in the first place. I had issues and trauma, a lot of it. I understand how someone can fully believe aggression is the way, I was in that headspace myself for a little while, fortunately I was able to evolve past it. Aggression has its place in some contexts though, but it's not the universal solution to everything. Again, I understand why some keep resorting to it by default, they don't know a less harmful way to relate to the world and to claim their right to be in it.

We all have to wrestle with uncertainty. I laugh whenever someone perceives me as confident and like I'm so in control. Am I? Not really, I experience just as much uncertainty, I just accept it as it is and focus my attention on the few things I can control. I don't know anything for sure about the future, nobody does, but people handle this uncertainty very differently. The worst you could do is refuse to accept this undeniable reality, but at least we all have it in common, no matter how certain someone else might seem on the surface.

I don't know where I'm going with this, it's just what came to mind reading your comment. I guess my point is that I understand, I see why and how people get stuck on the "lower levels". To me it's just sad, what I see is just suffering, like I once suffered.

 

[inquisitor]

But how many "right" women, "of the right" type, have you seen go with the "wrong" man?

I can't seem to care about this because it doesn't matter. Who defines right or wrong? And so what? If a girl goes for that kind of guy, what does it matter to me, or to you? They'll keep doing what they want regardless of you. So what? If they don't want you, forget them, then. You are their loss. The earth keeps spinning.

What matters, for me, is that I get the right kind of woman for me. I want this woman, and I got her. I want to keep this woman, and so far, I'm keeping her. This mindset is what I have now.

...and if I'm not mistaken, what matters for us here, is that we get the women we want.

It's not about focusing on the woman, but more on the inner game of what we need to become.

Agree. That's what I've been saying for the longest time: before you get the woman you want, you have to know what you want first, and to know what you want, you must know yourself first.

But we need to know what women like, what makes us better men than these manipulative narcissists.

Women like what women like, manipulative or obedient, narcissist or humble. Again, doesn't matter.
Are you getting the women you want, though?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I totally get what you're saying. I had a troublesome upbringing myself and it's 100% the reason I had to, among other things, seek out this forum in the first place. I had issues and trauma, a lot of it. I understand how someone can fully believe aggression is the way, I was in that headspace myself for a little while, fortunately I was able to evolve past it. Aggression has its place in some contexts though, but it's not the universal solution to everything. Again, I understand why some keep resorting to it by default, they don't know a less harmful way to relate to the world and to claim their right to be in it.

We all have to wrestle with uncertainty. I laugh whenever someone perceives me as confident and like I'm so in control. Am I? Not really, I experience just as much uncertainty, I just accept it as it is and focus my attention on the few things I can control. I don't know anything for sure about the future, nobody does, but people handle this uncertainty very differently. The worst you could do is refuse to accept this undeniable reality, but at least we all have it in common, no matter how certain someone else might seem on the surface.

I don't know where I'm going with this, it's just what came to mind reading your comment. I guess my point is that I understand, I see why and how people get stuck on the "lower levels". To me it's just sad, what I see is just suffering, like I once suffered.

I relate to a lot of this. Thank you for posting it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Would it be fair to suffice that anyone who calls themselves ‘hoe_math’ may not be the most objective resource for a read on the female psyche?

I hope folks are reading this and laughing out of how pathetic this video and the author of it are.

That anyone actually created a detailed chart and made a *series* of long videos around it is like, public shooting from the top of some roof level crazy.

OP building a series of threads around this is equally disturbing.

How are these threads not considered spam. What in the hell is going on around here. Who actually benefits from this insanity.

 

[jhonny9546]

Are you getting the women you want, though?

We need to talk about this and how you grew up and feel about it.