"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Being an a$$hole turning on me??...

K

Ken785

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ok ill admit, im usually a very nice guy. but lately ive been an a$$hole to one of my roommates hb9 because im interested in her. im nice to everyone else but kinda been a d!ck to her. now i think its working against me. she has been asking favors in front of all my friends. but she does it in a way where i HAVE TO do it because there is no other choice... like the other day at my house party..."ken...can you make me a drink?" (because she was busy playing poker and i was doing sh!t i HAD to get it)

"ken...can you poor more vodka?" (bewcause she was playing poker and couldnt get up from her hand)

or "ken...can you get a beer for me and open it?" (the beer was right in front of her but she says she has nothing to open it with..)

my problem is...i dont want to look like an afc who does eveything she says in hopes of getting into here pants. how do i fix this? i know its a little confusing....
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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W

Wyldfire

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This girl has a boyfriend. You can continue to fantasize about her and spend your evenings overanalyzing every stupid little interaction and cuffing your puppy or you can go out and find a girl who is actually both available and interested in you. The choice is yours...
 
Jariel

Jariel

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Wyldfire said:
This girl has a boyfriend. You can continue to fantasize about her and spend your evenings overanalyzing every stupid little interaction and cuffing your puppy or you can go out and find a girl who is actually both available and interested in you. The choice is yours...
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Good advice!

Plus, acting the jerk IS AFC behaviour. You pretty much admitted you are doing it because you like her so you are supplicating (albeit indirectly). Stop trying to win her over and accept she'll either like you for who you (really) are, or not at all.

It's a major mistake guys make in thinking they can alter their behaviour and it will impress women. You have to work on the fundamentals.
 
G

Gonzalo

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Ken, could you please stop asking retarded questions....?

Kiddin. Anyways, dude, who told you that acting like a jerk is the way to get a girl interesed? Negs and ball busting have a specific function and purpose in the context of a pickup... they're not the entire game.

Besides, you DO NOT 'have' to do any favors to anybody... She asks you for some retarded thing like opening her beer? Throw back some CF: "What am *I* getting....? ;) Then WHATEVER she replies, say "not good enough, open your own beer." Simple.
 
L

LongDrinkofWater

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Ken, you already said you've been an a$$hole to this chick, so why not continue on and say "I'll play your hand, you go make drinks for the both of us", or: "I thought you could open beers with your teeth?"

She is playing you. This hb9 has probably pulled this stuff on other guys as well, which is why she seems to be good at getting you to do things else you look stupid. It's happened to me, and these situations can be very frustrating. My retort was to simply not do what she says, no matter how bad (I thought) I looked. Trust me, what she is doing to you is not going unnoticed by others. Stick up for yourself. She'll stop soon enough once she sees you're not a pushover.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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F

flexion_

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Who said anything about being an *******?
 
T

thefonz

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Good advice from Wyld and Jariel,

I've always had a habit of getting into these power struggles with people and most of the time it's not really worth it. Usually when I do get in these fights I"m in an irritable mood and I crave those feelings of dominating somebody completely.....and the truth is I'm NEVER satisfied and and little setback in my domineering makes me even madder.

It's best just to let it go and focus on something else, get away from this girl cus she makes you behave in ways you don't want to.
 
X

xblitz44x

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Jerk behavior will only entice those who are willing to deal with it. And those who are willing to deal with it are always going to be women with low self-esteem who think they deserve it for one reason or another. You'll never be able to sustain a healthy tie with a woman who chooses to deal with jerk/abusive behavior.

There is a difference between being a dominant male, and an abusive douche.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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