"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Being alone = Being appropiarly patient

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
We can talk about being alone. We should not confuse being alone with being lonely, as they are two different things.

For the speaker in the video, being alone means that we are simply "appropriately patient" in finding things and people who can truly satisfy us, rather than settling for what is provided by our social circle or society.
So it's also stating that there are many people who are togheter because they fear of being alone, or fear of being seen alone. (This is true for so many beta relationships).

While this is true, how can it all be so confusing?
We may not even be objectively beautiful, but we believe we should be role models and attract other role models. (And this could be something we can't accept of ourselves).

So, how do we avoid confusing the expectation of “waiting for the right things” with the idea that “you are only worthy if you are valued by others”?

 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
263
Reaction score
218
Age
27
While being alone is something that should come naturally to everyone, it's also possible to understand why it doesn't come naturally to everyone.

As human beings, we are programmed to connect with others.

The point is, many people equate being alone with failure. That's why we see so many people enduring toxic relationships. And I'm not talking about romantic relationships here. I'm talking in general.

Recognizing that you're fine on your own and won’t settle for less than what you deserve is a sign of self-awareness and understanding of your value. It reflects the kind of company you want to keep.

It takes a bit of maturity and a certain kind of standard to have this kind of mentality.

Once you're comfortable on your own, you won’t settle for just anyone by your side.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
4,123
Reaction score
3,623
Location
California
There are times when being alone is appropriate. During my studies. I was alone for a year while I completed a particularly rigorous part. I was too busy & too immersed to really care.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,401
Reaction score
5,162
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Everybody is different. There are factors like introvert vs extrovert; attachment styles; and whether someone is used to being alone vs always in a relationship.

I’ve gotten way too comfortable being alone. I interact with friends and family regularly, but I love living alone.
 

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
This is a very interesting topic, and another bias for the modern society, which sees alone people, like losers. (unfortunately)
It reflects the kind of company you want to keep.
And you know it when you're in presence of someone you do not tolerate.
And I don't know if its more lonely to be alone, or to be in an LTR with your college or childhood social circle "friend". (some of them really love themselves, but others are just there because society pressures)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top