Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Being alone = Being appropiarly patient

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
We can talk about being alone. We should not confuse being alone with being lonely, as they are two different things.

For the speaker in the video, being alone means that we are simply "appropriately patient" in finding things and people who can truly satisfy us, rather than settling for what is provided by our social circle or society.
So it's also stating that there are many people who are togheter because they fear of being alone, or fear of being seen alone. (This is true for so many beta relationships).

While this is true, how can it all be so confusing?
We may not even be objectively beautiful, but we believe we should be role models and attract other role models. (And this could be something we can't accept of ourselves).

So, how do we avoid confusing the expectation of “waiting for the right things” with the idea that “you are only worthy if you are valued by others”?

 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
263
Reaction score
218
Age
27
While being alone is something that should come naturally to everyone, it's also possible to understand why it doesn't come naturally to everyone.

As human beings, we are programmed to connect with others.

The point is, many people equate being alone with failure. That's why we see so many people enduring toxic relationships. And I'm not talking about romantic relationships here. I'm talking in general.

Recognizing that you're fine on your own and won’t settle for less than what you deserve is a sign of self-awareness and understanding of your value. It reflects the kind of company you want to keep.

It takes a bit of maturity and a certain kind of standard to have this kind of mentality.

Once you're comfortable on your own, you won’t settle for just anyone by your side.
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
4,123
Reaction score
3,623
Location
California
There are times when being alone is appropriate. During my studies. I was alone for a year while I completed a particularly rigorous part. I was too busy & too immersed to really care.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,401
Reaction score
5,162
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Everybody is different. There are factors like introvert vs extrovert; attachment styles; and whether someone is used to being alone vs always in a relationship.

I’ve gotten way too comfortable being alone. I interact with friends and family regularly, but I love living alone.
 

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,614
Reaction score
550
Location
Italy
This is a very interesting topic, and another bias for the modern society, which sees alone people, like losers. (unfortunately)
It reflects the kind of company you want to keep.
And you know it when you're in presence of someone you do not tolerate.
And I don't know if its more lonely to be alone, or to be in an LTR with your college or childhood social circle "friend". (some of them really love themselves, but others are just there because society pressures)
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Top