Everyone who comes to this site wants to change. Why? To become a better person. This is the purpose of the site. A mere image of things. There always lies a deeper, sadder story. For some, the story is just another memory of the past. For others, in it lies the truth...The reason for the change. NO ONE is born a Don Juan. Practice, heartbreak, despair...All of that adds up, builds, boils below the surface. One after another, things build up until finally...The person snaps.
What each person goes through is different. Some get through relatively easily. Others...The pain lingers, holds on, not wanting to leave. Each time the person rises, it drags them down a little. When the person is down, it pulls them under. Each case leads to more insanity. More heartbreak and unexplainable behavior. Human emotion is a powerful thing. When angry, people have been known to lift cars, break bricks, and run faster than ever. When sad, people have hung themselves, jumped off bridges, took too much Advil...Most people can control themselves. Others let emotions take them.
Some people change for the better. I am one of them I suppose. I always figured if people post what made them change, others can see. Sometimes the greatest of people come from the worst of times. If you think you can handle it, keep reading to see the true story behind the evolution from nothing to "crazykid."
Junior Year:
This is a fitting place to start. Adolescentadulthood was THE site to be. Atleast, for me it was. There I was, 16 years old and looking up tips on sex, dating, and kissing. I had been on a few dates the year before, but never kissed. I was ditched for someone better. I didn't care, I was just glad to have gotten a date. Homecomming the year before, I had a date. I paid for EVERYTHING. We stood around the whole time. All that money wasted. But I was loving it. Now I figured it was a new year and I had better chances. I guess I was right. I knew a few people. One named Heather and another named Katie. I talked to Katie online for a while during the summer before school started. Told her I had liked her for a year but hadn't had the courage to tell her before. Somehow got a date. She seemed like she was interested. Things went great on the date. Hugged her at the end. I kept talking to her for a while after that. Found out two weeks later that she got a boyfriend 2 days after the date with me. I was shocked and saddened. It would not be the last heartbreak.
Heather and I have been friends since we were 2. At the end of Sophmore Year, she had shown interest in me (now that I look back on it.) Went sent little letters to each other during the summer. She persisited. I didn't. I thought she was just being friendly. Shortly after the Katie disaster, Heather got flirtier with me. I didn't react. She might have thought I was being hard to get. I was just scared beyond hell. She came over a few times and watched movies with, I held her, she laid on me...I did nothing. She went to kiss me, I turned my head. Finally found my balls and asked her over on a Friday when we didn't have school. I waited and waited. She never showed. Asked her on Monday what happened...She was out on a date with someone (who would become her bf, who was an ass at the time to her.)
My world spun down. Here I was, two giant rejections, and HOMECOMMING wasn't even around yet. I was on the football team, doing well, but I was still down. I now know why I was so good at football (I was the kicker.) I took out my frustration on the ball and practiced everyday (sometimes even after practice.) Why? To prove to everyone that I was good. Regardless of football, I was still a wimp.
Casey. You know that girl you dream of? She was it. I liked her, I wanted her...She seemed interested. We were in a group for a class. She hung around me more than the other guy. She sent me emails. I should have asked her out but didn't. She approached me one day...I was thinking "WOO!"
"Hey Joey."
"Hey Case, what's up?"
"Nothing. Can you tell John (a teammate) that I need to talk to him?"
"Sure."
They talked. I pieced together what might have happened. I think he got with her and she thought she might be pregnant. So much for showing ME interest.
Not even 3 months into the school year and I have 3 of the worst rejections ever. Homecomming was a month away and I still didn't have a date. I talked to one of my "friends" (hell, I don't even know what to call him). He was going to take his girlfriend. I'm thinking "good for him..." He said she had a friend who wanted to come and needed a date. Didn't take me even a second to say "yes." Homecomming time.
Met her there at the dance. She wasn't too bad looking. Pretty big (fat) though, but not much. She liked me. She had never been kissed. Me niether. We danced the night away (both slow and grinding.) Saw Katie and her boyfriend making out a few times, once they were pretty much right infront of me. I think it was blatent. That bitch. Saw Heather and her boyfriend there. I hated him. Didn't see Casey, which was probably good. My date kept looking over at my "friend" strangely. She and her friend went to the bathroom. Probably to talk. My friend came over and told me she liked me and wanted me to kiss her. GREAT! Did I? Erm...No. We left holding hands and my Dad picked me up. I thought the night was fun. What did I know?
December 6, 2001. Football season has been over for a month, Thanksgiving just wrapped up, and I'm down. Scanning through Adolescentadulthood, I notice a link someone posted saying "If you want to get women, this is the place to go." Thinking "sure, why the hell not" I click on the link.
"The Original Don Juan High School Bible" by Lorenzo popped up. I read over everything. I thought "what the hell? Don't show a girl attention? Eye contact? Kino?" Curious, I set out to check the rest of the site. The next day, I registered. That is just the beginning.
Two month later: Valentines Day is a week and a half away. I am getting butterflies again. The only girl I even think likes me is kind of fat, ugly, and annoying. I don't know why, but I'm attracted. At most, she was a 4 or 5. If that. We go over to Heather's new boyfriends house (I set them up...He is a friend of mine.) We watch one movie. Shrek gets popped into the VCR and the movie starts. Short time into the movie, I'm holding her and we talk a little. Next thing I know, I lean in to kiss her. She leans in. I get my first kiss. First makeout too. I feel ontop of the world.
Day before Valentines Day: My grandmother had been in the hospital for about two months already. I get home from school and my mom goes racing out the door. We got a call from the hospital. She took a turn for the worse. About 20 minutes after she leaves, the phone rings again. My dad answers.
"When? Ok...Bye." He walks into the room with me on the computer.
"Joey...That was the hospital. They were taking her to Intensive Care and lost her...She's dead."
*Silence*
This school year was halfway over and already was the worst of my life. I talk to the girl I kissed later that day. We officially start dating. I was a wreck.
About 3 days after the funeral, I realize something. This isn't me. I can do better. I am limiting myself. I want to change...I NEED to change. This is the change in my life. The kick to my ass I needed.
I ditch the girl (after everyone in the school had made a comment at me about dating her, but I did it for myself.) I get my liscence. I get rid of my glasses and get contacts. I get a better haircut. I start doing my school work and get A's all across for the first time ever. I work out for football next fall. I finally felt like myself. Ever since then, I have read more of the site and taken in as much as possible. Practiced as much as possible. I even became popular. I went from nothing to King of the school in under 6 months. I got All-County for football Senior year and had a girlfriend for 4 months. That was the best year ever.
Looking back on Junior Year...It was the worst of times. But there is an old saying. For every death, new life is bred. With my grandma's passing, I gained new life as a person. A sad way to look at something, but I am a sad person. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I had gone through 4 pool sticks in a year. 3 broke because of me. I smashed them into a wall. There is a dent in some bricks. I threw a full, unopened can of soda into it because of some rumors about my girlfriend in college (which I later learned were true, after SHE dumped ME.)
From the day of my change until now, I continue to post as best I can on this site. The first person I talked to from this site was none other than The Matrix: Reloaded. On September 6, 2003, I was selected (along with Giovanni Casanova and Survivor) as one of 3 new moderators for this site. Hard work and dediction paid off. I joined the ranks. I finally became "crazykid."
Take what you want from this. I hope that someone will come along and see something inspiring. Others may see nothing more that a mass amount of words. I will always look back and see...The Real Story.
What each person goes through is different. Some get through relatively easily. Others...The pain lingers, holds on, not wanting to leave. Each time the person rises, it drags them down a little. When the person is down, it pulls them under. Each case leads to more insanity. More heartbreak and unexplainable behavior. Human emotion is a powerful thing. When angry, people have been known to lift cars, break bricks, and run faster than ever. When sad, people have hung themselves, jumped off bridges, took too much Advil...Most people can control themselves. Others let emotions take them.
Some people change for the better. I am one of them I suppose. I always figured if people post what made them change, others can see. Sometimes the greatest of people come from the worst of times. If you think you can handle it, keep reading to see the true story behind the evolution from nothing to "crazykid."
Junior Year:
This is a fitting place to start. Adolescentadulthood was THE site to be. Atleast, for me it was. There I was, 16 years old and looking up tips on sex, dating, and kissing. I had been on a few dates the year before, but never kissed. I was ditched for someone better. I didn't care, I was just glad to have gotten a date. Homecomming the year before, I had a date. I paid for EVERYTHING. We stood around the whole time. All that money wasted. But I was loving it. Now I figured it was a new year and I had better chances. I guess I was right. I knew a few people. One named Heather and another named Katie. I talked to Katie online for a while during the summer before school started. Told her I had liked her for a year but hadn't had the courage to tell her before. Somehow got a date. She seemed like she was interested. Things went great on the date. Hugged her at the end. I kept talking to her for a while after that. Found out two weeks later that she got a boyfriend 2 days after the date with me. I was shocked and saddened. It would not be the last heartbreak.
Heather and I have been friends since we were 2. At the end of Sophmore Year, she had shown interest in me (now that I look back on it.) Went sent little letters to each other during the summer. She persisited. I didn't. I thought she was just being friendly. Shortly after the Katie disaster, Heather got flirtier with me. I didn't react. She might have thought I was being hard to get. I was just scared beyond hell. She came over a few times and watched movies with, I held her, she laid on me...I did nothing. She went to kiss me, I turned my head. Finally found my balls and asked her over on a Friday when we didn't have school. I waited and waited. She never showed. Asked her on Monday what happened...She was out on a date with someone (who would become her bf, who was an ass at the time to her.)
My world spun down. Here I was, two giant rejections, and HOMECOMMING wasn't even around yet. I was on the football team, doing well, but I was still down. I now know why I was so good at football (I was the kicker.) I took out my frustration on the ball and practiced everyday (sometimes even after practice.) Why? To prove to everyone that I was good. Regardless of football, I was still a wimp.
Casey. You know that girl you dream of? She was it. I liked her, I wanted her...She seemed interested. We were in a group for a class. She hung around me more than the other guy. She sent me emails. I should have asked her out but didn't. She approached me one day...I was thinking "WOO!"
"Hey Joey."
"Hey Case, what's up?"
"Nothing. Can you tell John (a teammate) that I need to talk to him?"
"Sure."
They talked. I pieced together what might have happened. I think he got with her and she thought she might be pregnant. So much for showing ME interest.
Not even 3 months into the school year and I have 3 of the worst rejections ever. Homecomming was a month away and I still didn't have a date. I talked to one of my "friends" (hell, I don't even know what to call him). He was going to take his girlfriend. I'm thinking "good for him..." He said she had a friend who wanted to come and needed a date. Didn't take me even a second to say "yes." Homecomming time.
Met her there at the dance. She wasn't too bad looking. Pretty big (fat) though, but not much. She liked me. She had never been kissed. Me niether. We danced the night away (both slow and grinding.) Saw Katie and her boyfriend making out a few times, once they were pretty much right infront of me. I think it was blatent. That bitch. Saw Heather and her boyfriend there. I hated him. Didn't see Casey, which was probably good. My date kept looking over at my "friend" strangely. She and her friend went to the bathroom. Probably to talk. My friend came over and told me she liked me and wanted me to kiss her. GREAT! Did I? Erm...No. We left holding hands and my Dad picked me up. I thought the night was fun. What did I know?
December 6, 2001. Football season has been over for a month, Thanksgiving just wrapped up, and I'm down. Scanning through Adolescentadulthood, I notice a link someone posted saying "If you want to get women, this is the place to go." Thinking "sure, why the hell not" I click on the link.
"The Original Don Juan High School Bible" by Lorenzo popped up. I read over everything. I thought "what the hell? Don't show a girl attention? Eye contact? Kino?" Curious, I set out to check the rest of the site. The next day, I registered. That is just the beginning.
Two month later: Valentines Day is a week and a half away. I am getting butterflies again. The only girl I even think likes me is kind of fat, ugly, and annoying. I don't know why, but I'm attracted. At most, she was a 4 or 5. If that. We go over to Heather's new boyfriends house (I set them up...He is a friend of mine.) We watch one movie. Shrek gets popped into the VCR and the movie starts. Short time into the movie, I'm holding her and we talk a little. Next thing I know, I lean in to kiss her. She leans in. I get my first kiss. First makeout too. I feel ontop of the world.
Day before Valentines Day: My grandmother had been in the hospital for about two months already. I get home from school and my mom goes racing out the door. We got a call from the hospital. She took a turn for the worse. About 20 minutes after she leaves, the phone rings again. My dad answers.
"When? Ok...Bye." He walks into the room with me on the computer.
"Joey...That was the hospital. They were taking her to Intensive Care and lost her...She's dead."
*Silence*
This school year was halfway over and already was the worst of my life. I talk to the girl I kissed later that day. We officially start dating. I was a wreck.
About 3 days after the funeral, I realize something. This isn't me. I can do better. I am limiting myself. I want to change...I NEED to change. This is the change in my life. The kick to my ass I needed.
I ditch the girl (after everyone in the school had made a comment at me about dating her, but I did it for myself.) I get my liscence. I get rid of my glasses and get contacts. I get a better haircut. I start doing my school work and get A's all across for the first time ever. I work out for football next fall. I finally felt like myself. Ever since then, I have read more of the site and taken in as much as possible. Practiced as much as possible. I even became popular. I went from nothing to King of the school in under 6 months. I got All-County for football Senior year and had a girlfriend for 4 months. That was the best year ever.
Looking back on Junior Year...It was the worst of times. But there is an old saying. For every death, new life is bred. With my grandma's passing, I gained new life as a person. A sad way to look at something, but I am a sad person. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I had gone through 4 pool sticks in a year. 3 broke because of me. I smashed them into a wall. There is a dent in some bricks. I threw a full, unopened can of soda into it because of some rumors about my girlfriend in college (which I later learned were true, after SHE dumped ME.)
From the day of my change until now, I continue to post as best I can on this site. The first person I talked to from this site was none other than The Matrix: Reloaded. On September 6, 2003, I was selected (along with Giovanni Casanova and Survivor) as one of 3 new moderators for this site. Hard work and dediction paid off. I joined the ranks. I finally became "crazykid."
Take what you want from this. I hope that someone will come along and see something inspiring. Others may see nothing more that a mass amount of words. I will always look back and see...The Real Story.
..... andnow i'm done.