Before I Quit my Side Job, Do I Take a Shot at the Manager?

[nicksaiz65]

Crazy title, I know lol. But hold on, let me cook real quick.

I’ve been in a phase for the last few months where I’ve been cleaning up my finances, getting rid of some debts, etc. To do this, I kept my job as an engineer & moonlighted at a restaurant a couple days a week. The numbers finally say that it would be foolish for me to continue this job and all my time should be put into getting to senior engineer level & getting a big pay bump. (I got a great mid-year review so I think this is totally realistic.)

So long story short, I’ll hand in my resignation within the next few days.

But, one of the new managers was exhibiting behavior that is setting off my radar a bit…

The girl is married(though that hasn’t stopped me from pulling other married girls in the past! ) but when someone was asking about her relationship, she jokingly was like “Oh I hate him lol.” That made me raise an eyebrow.

Also, when chatting, she was like “why on earth do you only work here part time?” I gave her the usual answer about paying down student debt, and she was like: “Well, I’ll be on leave of absence a bit, but when I get back, if you’re still here, we’ve GOT to get a drink together.” (Referring to after work drinks.)

I’m like, is this married chick hitting on me? Lol.

The budget says that I need to quit this job to go all in at my day job, so I won’t be here anyways. But I wanted to know from you guys if I should take a shot before I hand in my resignation or if this is dumb and I’m looking too far into it lol.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Why do you think you need to keep this job at the restaurant just to have drinks and potentially hook up with this woman? And do you really think you have the skills to take it all the way? Or do you believe this is just drinks in a purely platonic sense?

So, to answer the question in your title: yes.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Why do you think you need to keep this job at the restaurant just to have drinks and potentially hook up with this woman? And do you really think you have the skills to take it all the way? Or do you believe this is just drinks in a purely platonic sense?

So, to answer the question in your title: yes.

Mostly to have the plausible deniability of “it’s just after work drinks.” Since she’s technically married, I don’t see just straight up hitting her line up & asking for drinks going too well.

I’m going to quit very soon, so I thought I’d knock it out if this isn’t a dumb idea.

And yeah, part of me is like “idk if she’s hitting on me” but who knows lol. I’ve got nothing to lose, so..

I’d definitely make a move if I got her out. If I couldn’t, I’d resign and just meet other girls cold approaching.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Mostly to have the plausible deniability of “it’s just after work drinks.” Since she’s technically married, I don’t see just straight up hitting her line up & asking for drinks going too well.

I’m going to quit very soon, so I thought I’d knock it out if this isn’t a dumb idea.

And yeah, part of me is like “idk if she’s hitting on me” but who knows lol. I’ve got nothing to lose, so..

I’d definitely make a move if I got her out. If I couldn’t, I’d resign and just meet other girls cold approaching.

In restaurant situations, much like hospital situations everyone is hooking up with everyone, so I would always assume that is her intent.

 

[nicksaiz65]

In restaurant situations, much like hospital situations everyone is hooking up with everyone, so I would always assume that is her intent.

Yep, especially since I have nothing to lose, I’ll go for it.

It’s so interesting, what is it about restaurants & hospitals specifically that cause this? It’s a pattern. I guess you could say this about any “social circle” where you see the same people over and over, but it seems amplified in restaurants & hospitals.

 

[BPH]

I think messing around with married women invites many more problems than it solves.

 

[plumber]

nice, the extra job is a great place to meet others. and you don't have to protect your income so free to do what you want. obviously treat the engineer job with stricter control. if you can, keep the side thing and just work less time/days if you can.

 

[plumber]

I think messing around with married women invites many more problems than it solves.

yes, case by case. there is married and then there is married. if a guy does not know the difference then just avoid all.

 

[zekko]

Mostly to have the plausible deniability of “it’s just after work drinks.” Since she’s technically married, I don’t see just straight up hitting her line up & asking for drinks going too well.

Since she's married, the smartest thing to do would be to go ahead and quit and forget she ever existed, except as whatever ego boost you might get out it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

yes, case by case. there is married and then there is married. if a guy does not know the difference then just avoid all.

Doesn't matter what she says...only how psycho her husband is and how many guns he has.

 

[plumber]

Doesn't matter what she says...only how psycho her husband is and how many guns he has.

correct. must know both ends.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I think messing around with married women invites many more problems than it solves.

Doesn't matter what she says...only how psycho her husband is and how many guns he has.

We’re talking, like psycho dude with guns at my door problems?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

We’re talking, like psycho dude with guns at my door problems?

Or wherever he finds you out in the street problem

 

[nicksaiz65]

nice, the extra job is a great place to meet others. and you don't have to protect your income so free to do what you want. obviously treat the engineer job with stricter control. if you can, keep the side thing and just work less time/days if you can.

I actually did think about this, just working one day a week. I suppose I could do that. However, my budget is saying that mathematically, now that I’m not dying from obnoxious loan payments. it makes more sense to put those 7 hours a week into either upskilling or recovery because a senior engineer pay bump would dwarf anything I made from a side hustle. I do enjoy chatting with people on the job, etc, but I should probably quit.

This would put more hours in my week to cold approach too.

 

[Hal9000]

Really the only question you need to be asking is whether this piece of a$$ is worth potentially being murdered over. You seem pretty unaware that that isnt a far fetched scenario if you bang this chick.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Really the only question you need to be asking is whether this piece of a$$ is worth potentially being murdered over. You seem pretty unaware that that isnt a far fetched scenario if you bang this chick.

It’s sounding like it’s not worth it lol, there’s plenty of other girls out that I can chat to instead tbh

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

It’s sounding like it’s not worth it lol,

It's already far too late. You've spent way too much time on sosuave trying to figure out what to do.

If you did decide to make a move, it shouldn't have been immediately after (like 1-2 seconds after) she said you should get drinks IF you're still there when she gets back.

Right Way

Her: Maybe if you're still here when I get back, we could go out for drinks.
You: Sure, maybe. Or we could go out for drinks tonight, just in case I'm not here and we never see each other again.

Wrong Way

Her: Maybe if you're still here when I get back, we could go out for drinks.
You; Yeah, uh, sure. (runs to Sosuave and spends the next five fcking days going back and forth trying to gain a consensus about what to do...)

 

[nicksaiz65]

It's already far too late. You've spent way too much time on sosuave trying to figure out what to do.

If you did decide to make a move, it shouldn't have been immediately after (like 1-2 seconds after) she said you should get drinks IF you're still there when she gets back.

Right Way

Her: Maybe if you're still here when I get back, we could go out for drinks.
You: Sure, maybe. Or we could go out for drinks tonight, just in case I'm not here and we never see each other again.

Wrong Way

Her: Maybe if you're still here when I get back, we could go out for drinks.
You; Yeah, uh, sure. (runs to Sosuave and spends the next five fcking days going back and forth trying to gain a consensus about what to do...)

Yeah, good point. Not worth the risk anyways at this point, I’ll just go out & cold approach this weekend lol.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Mostly to have the plausible deniability of “it’s just after work drinks.” Since she’s technically married, I don’t see just straight up hitting her line up & asking for drinks going too well.

I’m going to quit very soon, so I thought I’d knock it out if this isn’t a dumb idea.

And yeah, part of me is like “idk if she’s hitting on me” but who knows lol. I’ve got nothing to lose, so..

I’d definitely make a move if I got her out. If I couldn’t, I’d resign and just meet other girls cold approaching.

I re-read your post, OP, and I missed a key detail: she is going on a leave of absence. To be frank, this just sounds like something people say to avoid making goodbyes hard or awkward, kind of like saying, “we’ll keep in touch,” or something similar.

Either way, unless she hates her husband so much due to him cheating on her, not paying attention to her, or other issues that would lead them to sleep in separate rooms, I think this is nothing more than colleague banter. Her priorities seem to be elsewhere, like her LOA, rather than getting d!cked down on the down low by her co-worker.

However, if you really need to know, just ask her out.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Leave married women tf alone.